Now She Can Cry

Thanksgiving come and gone
no one else seemed to notice the empty chair
she was tempted to put a place setting there
but she didn't

And when she felt the tears welling
within her weary blue eyes
she bit her tongue

Gifts bought, wrapped placed beneath
the tree
those Christmas lights seemed to mock her
those that burned brightly but suddenly faded
just like...

She wanted to smash that tree
stomp those gifts. rip those twinkling lights
from those branches
scream at the top of her lungs
but she didn't

And when she felt those tears welt
she squeezed her eyes so tightly closed
everything stayed black for a moment when she opened them -
bit her tongue till she tasted blood -
silent

Fireworks, champagne, a toast to the old
a toast to the new
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
smiling faces, kisses all around

She wanted to, could have dampened those fireworks
salted the champagne with her pent up tears
tore those kisses from lips with her nails
but she didn't

New Years Day -
Christmas turkey gone
only a carcass
one lone piece of soggy pumpkin pie
tree down
people resting

She sits in the bedroom that smells so familiar
still after all this time
from the velvet box,
takes out the lock of hair

Touches gently
smells, feels, holds to her heart
memories wash over her weary body

She lays her head on the pillow
where she last lay
tears flow like rapids
unsung screams burn her throat
tears soak the pillow

Now ...she can cry

Author's Note

First holidays without loved ones .....
I wish you all a Happy New Year , will be around in awhile to read ...
Peace

Reviews

[Magdelena]

OH this was so sad. I so remember a time when I too felt like this. many a time went by while I sat by myself within a crowd and felt so alone. tears fell when the darkness came, and this described exactly what it felt like.. Your imagery was perfection, your words became mine.. Bravo!

Mags xx

[D S Rollins]

How sad :( But I can totally empathise with this, what a mass of emotions.

[Desert Dreamer]

The holidays are often times when our losses are felt most strongly, you have written so well on this subject, I feel the pain.

[TamiViolet]

Oh, my friend, how I understand this feeling...one of nostalgia, of realizing that we must let go and move on...so damned difficult to do... The anger/despair is part of the grieving process and some day will be replaced by acceptance,,,

My tears fall as yours...when alone in bed... thinking.... I am sorry you lost one so close to your heart, Chloe. Bittersweet is reality...

[Art Sun]

such a sad piece Chloe...even with all the surrounding joys of life...it isn't the same with those loved ones gone...

nice work...

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

compelling and touching poetic adagio~for me its the violin he once played~thought me to play . . . .

[Nobody.]

powerful....really dug some emotions from deep within. good writing.
cheers!

[Tai Chi Italy Take Two]

hello Chloe! This made me want to cry, it seems we women must bear the brunt of our pain in silence. For the sake of others and the festivities. To get from start to finish takes guts and love. Very cool work.

Smiling at you

Tai

[Larry Dyson]

I feel like this all thru the holidays.. always have...thought I was the only one...I miss everyone that has gone on...im almost 61 and it still makes me "feeling alien"...

[Ladysue]

oh this is sad but you wrote it so tenderly and beautifully...great progression and presentation. A stunning piece...

[Moflo]

I really like the concept of this, how the holiday season will remain the holidays no matter what is burning inside. I really liked it.