Now She Can Cry

Thanksgiving come and gone
no one else seemed to notice the empty chair
she was tempted to put a place setting there
but she didn't

And when she felt the tears welling
within her weary blue eyes
she bit her tongue

Gifts bought, wrapped placed beneath
the tree
those Christmas lights seemed to mock her
those that burned brightly but suddenly faded
just like...

She wanted to smash that tree
stomp those gifts. rip those twinkling lights
from those branches
scream at the top of her lungs
but she didn't

And when she felt those tears welt
she squeezed her eyes so tightly closed
everything stayed black for a moment when she opened them -
bit her tongue till she tasted blood -
silent

Fireworks, champagne, a toast to the old
a toast to the new
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
smiling faces, kisses all around

She wanted to, could have dampened those fireworks
salted the champagne with her pent up tears
tore those kisses from lips with her nails
but she didn't

New Years Day -
Christmas turkey gone
only a carcass
one lone piece of soggy pumpkin pie
tree down
people resting

She sits in the bedroom that smells so familiar
still after all this time
from the velvet box,
takes out the lock of hair

Touches gently
smells, feels, holds to her heart
memories wash over her weary body

She lays her head on the pillow
where she last lay
tears flow like rapids
unsung screams burn her throat
tears soak the pillow

Now ...she can cry

Author's Note

First holidays without loved ones .....
I wish you all a Happy New Year , will be around in awhile to read ...
Peace

Reviews

[Magdelena]

OH this was so sad. I so remember a time when I too felt like this. many a time went by while I sat by myself within a crowd and felt so alone. tears fell when the darkness came, and this described exactly what it felt like.. Your imagery was perfection, your words became mine.. Bravo!

Mags xx

[Michael Wright]

I think you have captured this quite well. Great job

[Samaira]

I love the imagery used. Also it beautifully sums up how powerful memories can be. They completely take control.

[justdandy]

wowwww...... I don't how it feels to loose a loved one around the holidays

[yvo miki]

wow very sad but I loved how u described not having a loved one be there during the holidays

[jeannemarie coulter]

very deep and thoughtful...i share the pain...i have lost the love of this life to cancer...i have missed his
LAUGHTER/LOVE every second since...blessed be to thee...jc

[nenakris]

This piece has such a sombre tone, makes you truly empathise with her.. Every word, every action makes you feel with her. She exutes such strength and stands as a symbolic pillar for all who have lost loved ones at such a time, when emotions run high. It evokes such emotion and silent pain, yetthere is no trace of vulnerability.. I love it.

[A Glow in the Pit of My..]

Surviving the holidays after losing loved ones is never ever easy, no matter how much support you're given. You captured the aching need to grieve but hiding it for when you're alone so as not to ruin others joyful times. I empathize with you and as I assume this was inspired by a real loss in your life, I wish you well and hope you've been able to find some healing and relief. xo

[Satan]

This is a strange world, but this alien looks like a human to me :)

[pastors03]

I loved the poem Chloe; I could feel the Christmas lights fading and the desire to kick and stomp gifts or set the table for someone who used to be there and I could feel the loneliness and the sadness. thank you so much Chloe...Art.