Memory Bank

'picture this '

There in black and white
with a splash of color
are memories of my life

My memory bank where anytime
I can make a withdrawal without
any fees

Memories-

A child, always worrying
why did I worry so ?
why did you leave us daddy?
do you love me mama?

A teenager, awkward, unsure
looking for acceptance
looking for approval
for friends and lovers

Finding that I was different
scoliosis stopped my sixteenth year
I lay in a cast , crooked teeth
crooked back
crooked life

A young woman wishing my mother
could be proud of me
like she was of my sisters
I had to be the wild child
you see, there is one for each family
in mine, it was me

Memories that make me smile
running through the woods
with my friends for a place to build a fort
to keep the bad guys out

Memories that make me cry
Mama, you are no bother
I will take care of you
you are no bother, Mama
I love you

Death stole you away too soon
I remember the look of
confusion on your face as
you took your last breath

Daddy, I remember finding you
dead in your bed
I said, I am sorry I wasn't here Daddy

You didn't hear me
eyes wide open
glassy stare
shock waves rushing through me

Now I am really alone

Memories-
mama
daddy
sisters
friends, lovers and me

Sometimes the bank overflows
I catch the memories
snap them back in place
deposit them
in the memory bank of my mind
my memories, just mine

Some of these, some
memories
they hurt
blurring my memory bank
with saline , washing it clean

Author's Note

I am sorry this is spur and my mind is cluttered with .. memories
I will be reading you all soon .. just been in a funk .

Reviews

[Devons]

A joyride of a journey through a life through an emotional poem; though with little joy but much reality and honesty. But memories are not chosen. The concept of the memory bank is profitable: as a poetic device it works very effectively, though the phrase itself is prosaic in contrast. And though the floodgates open, bringing all the painful memories with it, the emotion is handled tenderly and with an objective and balanced sense of drama and tragedy. The poem is never mawkish. It captures a life in snapshots, like symbolic polaroids issued from a cash machine.
An incisive interpretation of an image, summoning deeply-felt emotions, but enveloping the imagination and soul of the reader. A very strong piece of work.

[Ruth]

A unique way to capture memories love :) So many, good or bad, caught in the frame, a shot of time that is left as proof, this is beautiful hon, I LOVE it!
xx

[Iota]

I believe memories are fragmented in our minds and that's why seeing something or smelling something can bring back a vivid memory that we have forgotten. The more painful or joyful the memory the easier it is to recall them. As you said our memories belong to us. The way you described death in this poem was simply erie and beautiful. Loved this write of yours.

[Gomer LePoet]

Wow. I am completly overwhelmed with this piece. I may need to take a few days to completely process the thoughts, feelings, pictures you have presented here my friend. Right now I feel speechless and unable to properly respond to this.
Thanks for sharing Ark Traveller.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You brilliantly turn a phrase into a work of art...I like that! Without being cliche, you explore the phrase in new and personal ways. I will never again here the phrase "memory bank" without thinking of this poem. Many kudos!

[The Analog Kid]

It's kinda like defragmenting your hard drive. You have to "air" them out once in a while. Take inventory of the melancholy and this is good. Another way of thinking is like taking a treasure off the shelf and holding it and dusting it off and then gently putting it in its place:)

[Onyx_Rayne]

Very beautiful and introspective. Sometimes, it's a good thing to let those painful memories "air out" for a bit. The good and the bad make us who we are; people tend to focus on one or the other, but it takes both to make an existence a life.

"Sometimes the bank overflows
I catch the memories
snap them back in place
deposit them"

I love that line. The entire poem has a nice flow and comparing the memory to a bank is extremely creative. Excellent write :)

[Sheila Kline]

An outpouring of inner self, or just decluttering a cluttered mind - either way it is so very touching. Your memories are vividly described in a way that zings the heart of this reader! Regret often causes us to slip back in time and attempt to revive the lost opportunities that have sadly evaded us.
And, we must allow the tears to flow to wash us clean as your last line indicates.
A most riveting write!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

Chloe~ this is a deeply touching open heart of a human being~ the conclusion drawn through my mind is this~ no matter how or what or why we will always love and forgive and ache when their presence leaves an empty space~


this stanza . . . .

Finding that I was different
scoliosis stopped my sixteenth year
I lay in a cast , crooked teeth
crooked back
crooked life

. . . . . is such a stirring glimpse into the box of memories I caught my breath on the tactile manifestation of pain reaching through the humanscape of connectivity~
thank you for opening your life in such a intimate way~

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Very very honest and this poem is just so special cause we see a glimpse of your life here.If this was fiction,it could have been just another poem,but cause it is you here,this is just so very beautiful,touching.It must have been difficult for you to write this,cause i see your words poured straight from your heart here.This poem shows us it is okay to be vulnerable at times and let just flow with our emotions.This reminds of a poem called snapshots i had written long back,perhaps i could post it here sometime.Thank you for sharing :)