Memory Bank

'picture this '

There in black and white
with a splash of color
are memories of my life

My memory bank where anytime
I can make a withdrawal without
any fees

Memories-

A child, always worrying
why did I worry so ?
why did you leave us daddy?
do you love me mama?

A teenager, awkward, unsure
looking for acceptance
looking for approval
for friends and lovers

Finding that I was different
scoliosis stopped my sixteenth year
I lay in a cast , crooked teeth
crooked back
crooked life

A young woman wishing my mother
could be proud of me
like she was of my sisters
I had to be the wild child
you see, there is one for each family
in mine, it was me

Memories that make me smile
running through the woods
with my friends for a place to build a fort
to keep the bad guys out

Memories that make me cry
Mama, you are no bother
I will take care of you
you are no bother, Mama
I love you

Death stole you away too soon
I remember the look of
confusion on your face as
you took your last breath

Daddy, I remember finding you
dead in your bed
I said, I am sorry I wasn't here Daddy

You didn't hear me
eyes wide open
glassy stare
shock waves rushing through me

Now I am really alone

Memories-
mama
daddy
sisters
friends, lovers and me

Sometimes the bank overflows
I catch the memories
snap them back in place
deposit them
in the memory bank of my mind
my memories, just mine

Some of these, some
memories
they hurt
blurring my memory bank
with saline , washing it clean

Author's Note

I am sorry this is spur and my mind is cluttered with .. memories
I will be reading you all soon .. just been in a funk .

Reviews

[Judy Ponceby]

Painful memories Chloe. Thank you for sharing. This was a very moving, touching piece. I wish you peace.

[Rossen]

Timeless memories that hurt and let us feel loss and pain, sadness of love
and regret...
vary moving poem, lovely poetry...Write form the heart as big as the sky...

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem felt very much like a healing process to me. You are courageous for facing these words and taking control over them. The memories were bitter and sweet. Other forms of intelligent life could read this poem and honestly know what it feels like to be human. The truth of life shines through. You didnt sugar coat it at all and that integrity is what makes it all so powerful.

[Jibey]

The many emotions wrapped up in these memories are gently if painfully handled in words that just say how it is... Poignant and moving... stirring me deeply

[SpokenWord]

Memories are funny to me, I don't always remember them. It usually takes a scent, or I see something, or hear a song that brings back memories some good and some not so good. The bad ones I redeposit them in the the bank hoping they get diluted enough so that the next time I remember them I can confuse them with a dream and not truth.

Your poem made me remember my Mothers passing, I was there and my father wasn't talk about a new riff in the family to deal with. I know that feeling you spoke of in your poem and I always try not to remember it or that day, or the days after but I know the memories are there.

Very heart felt write, it tugged and pulled at me.

[ice]

Just a sec, before I write my thoughts..there is something in my eyes you see..and its causing them to well up..but wait! that something is the words of this poem, and I don't want to get them out with a tissue.
Composed:
My thoughts..it is a beautiful poem...sometimes spur of the moment poetry is the best. It is obvious your mind was "cluttered with memories", it is a gift to us that you have shared them.

[Emily B]

so sweet and lovely, perfect for a rainy spring day

[NyanMeow]

I love the metaphor of memories to a bank. The progression from being a child to growing up was very well executed, by the time you got to the death stanzas I was really connected with the piece. Excellent job.

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

There's nothing to be sorry about producing a heartfelt genuine piece like this. The flow through it is great, the mix of ups and downs before the final ending. =)