Eighteen Days

I said

Let's go watch the fireworks

You said,

I always think I am going to step
on a snake here at night

I said

Oh, heck I walk out here barefoot
night and day

We walked to watch the fireworks
You seemed uninterested, tired

Eighteen days later you were dead
your last Fourth of July
last holiday
last month you were  here
eighteen days later you were dead
I miss you

How can this be
why did He take you
such a gentle soul
with a weary life
not yet to marry
not yet to spread your wings
be you
why did he do this?
I miss you

I don't like the Fourth of July much now
I think of snakes and death
And your last month to be on Earth
I miss you

Why did he do this?
He can do anything
So why did he not keep you
Safe, alive
I miss you

I am sorry this poem for you
is not poetic
I can't see through the tears
I can't think of any words


Only snakes, death, July and you

Author's Note

missing a loved one
a friend
missing someone
missing someone
missing her

Reviews

[Timtim]

Sorry about your loved one... reading this poem now... about 6 months later, i can feel the raw emotion.
I think it perfectly describes how you felt at that moment.
Hope your feeling better now.

[Gomer LePoet]

OMG. I am so sorry my friend. This is hard to read, so I can only imagine how this feels personally. So sorry I wasn't able to comfort you in this time of need.

[The Analog Kid]

Very heartfelt. Nice way of conveying your story with the setting and events of the time. No rhyme necessary. Memories remain...

[An Ordinary Woman]

It is poetic in it's own right. A really great one. I am sorry for your loss, Chloe.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

sad :o(

[An owl on the moon]

This hit me so powerfully... the pain... the weekend coming up... overwhelming sadness when someone is taken far too young. So deeply sorry...

[Bubo]

When someone dies it is usual to associate the events that might have been taking place, I lost my last baby on Dec 26th, and yes, you never seem to shake the memory and you always feel the deep ache inside. Its a powerful piece in its simplicity and beauty,with raw emotion.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

You cannot imagine how much I feel this poem. The depth of mourning is incredible. I'm right there with you. I think this is some of your best work. It seems peculiar and sad that grief so often brings out the best of our words.

[Emily B]

memory is a funny thing, I've never yet found it to rhyme

your words are wonderful