Red Rum  Madness

Red Rum Madness

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

From an image born

"
Death, carnage surround
 this eerie quiet that was
as loud as thunder minutes ago

Covering his face  from the horror
from which there is no escape
his comrades  dead or bleeding their
life force into this putrid ground

Why  is he alive while they
lay dead , dying
as he sits there crying

Torrents of tears fall upon the mud
and blood splashing
foulness into his face

He relishes this bitter bile - the least he can do
as he sees, hears moaning  of those dying
taste some of their pain

Why are they dead , dying
why he alive?
He is their commander
he led them here to die

What madness he has unfurled
the loaded gun he puts to his temple
quickly releases, answers, these questions

© 2010 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
I am sorry this image is hurtful to look at ... I had trouble with this
a real challenge for me
really don't like the line that rhymes as the others don't...

I changed the name from red mud madness to red rum madness ... red rum, red rum, red rum.... war is much the same as red rum

My Review

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Featured Review

Well you did a good job with it, and the struggle is always worth it. I tried this challenge and I couldn't get anything worth posting to come out. blah!! darn it. I will wait for another challange one where the picture really moves me. I guess I watch too many war movies and am use to seeing it. You did great and I like this write. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A powerful write Chloe, the picture you painted with this, is unfortunately accurate and well expressed. Great job.

Antony

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

OH, CREEPY! Now I'm going to hear that little kid in The Shining saying red rum all night! lol Oh, hon, second line, "quite" should be "quiet" I think. And "lead" in the next to the last stanza should be "led". RED RUM MUR DER RED RUM MUR DER....that's what war is all about. This was pretty gruesome but not unheard of. War does things to people in combat, great write.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You voiced this very well. Amazingly done. Not sure why I don't see the image you posted...

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chloe, this is stunning friend, a really poem for the image!
Tense and powerful, moving!
xx

Posted 14 Years Ago


This poem to me accurately depicts the horrors many soldiers face and show why so many come back with mental issues... the raw and grittiness of this poem is what gives it true life.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Nice job with this subject Chloe.

Posted 14 Years Ago


In my imagination this image can only lead to some kind of despair and you have done well to describe it and to create a story for the picture.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well you did a good job with it, and the struggle is always worth it. I tried this challenge and I couldn't get anything worth posting to come out. blah!! darn it. I will wait for another challange one where the picture really moves me. I guess I watch too many war movies and am use to seeing it. You did great and I like this write. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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18 Reviews
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Added on June 19, 2010
Last Updated on June 21, 2010

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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