Ten Years

"From an image born"

The waves lap against the pier
wind blows cold from the north
the white caps seem to spell out my name
wind screaming it like a Banshee

Every day for ten years I have come here
on this very day, the day you died leaving me alone
to survive in a world as cold and vast as  this
ocean

I stand at the end of the pier staring into the
oceans depth looking for a sign
wondering if this will be the year I join you

The sun is yawning rubbing sleep from his eyes
the cold overcast sky begins to thaw
the sun opens his sleepy eyes


Seabirds circle round me as the ocean calms
I know in my heart you don't want this
you want me to stay here without you
I want to dive into the ocean and let her
hold me like a mother holds a broken child

Child, ours as lost without you as I am
my grief overwhelming consuming me
my child living a nightmare of his own
no help from me

Selfish I have been thinking only of me


The sun winks at me
as the sea birds sing-song
a mournful melody
you within the wind
caress me as I hear your voice

I say as I walk back down the pier

I know,
not today
not today

Author's Note

many thoughts came looking at the image of the cold ocean and the deserted pier early dawn .. this is what came out

Reviews

[Christina May Shanaberg]

I always enjoyed the exercises is school, when we were to write a story or a poem about a single picture. Each story was unique, but the general emotions seemed to remain pretty uniform. This poem was finely presented, very sad, and written by a wonderfully emotional poet. If you look hard enough, you can find a story in a single blade of grass, like Robert Frost's "Tuft of Flowers" (my favorite of his poems.

[...]

... oh ... this is just so amazingly overwhelming ... you bring to life the longing for love ... and the loved one ... especially after one has lost the loved one to their end ... but more than that you bring to life the cycle of life ... the child ... continuing with life for life ... giving one that quintessential reason to go on ... with the whisper of the loved one ... and the echo ... of sensing and knowing ... beyond thought or compulsion ... "not today" ... i am astounded by how poetically silent this verse is ... how reserved ... and quiet ... and i'm stunned by how beautifully that silence yields to the music of sea birds ... a breathtakingly beautiful poem ... a heartbreaking one too ... and yet one that inspires ... this one is about the radiance of resilience ... ravishing poetry ...

[Devons]

Oxymoronically (!), this is a desolately beautiful poem. One can almost hear the gradually calming waves as they rustle and die-out against the shore. The imagery is very strong and vivid and it is difficult not to describe without reciprocal lyricism.. The voice of the poem almost whispers across the inner ear rather like the wind and sea it describes.. The overall impression is like hearing a far-off and unreachable echo within a sea shell..
And although it is doleful and tragic and laden with a suicidal longing, this tender piece of writing connects with the reader on an isolated level - as though only that reader can hear those words..

"The sun winks at me
as the sea birds sing-song
a mournful melody
you within the wind
caress me as I hear your voice"

..The ending to this poem has a subtle positivity which balances the sadness which pervades the whole and the very final words are almost like a saviour, refined, fading and drifting into the consciousness.
Excellent, and 'from an image born...'

[John Morris]

This is a powerful, moving poem.

If I may offer some criticism and do not be disheartened this is one of the best poems I have ever read.

The second stanza day is repeated three times, I can not see any good reason for this please tell me if you decided to do this on purpose.

The flow jumps up and down throughout the poem because it has no grammar bar "I know,". Poems do not need to follow grammar rules but I believe it would help to break the poem up so readers do not skip over words when there mind speeds it up due to lack of punctuation.

Lastly the format is random lines places about many clearer stanzas would help?

I shall say again a fantastic poem and would like to read more, send me some read requests, I just like to criticise in order to help budding writers improve.

[Gandré]

This poem was like waiting for healing. It is a wonderful tribute to him, too. this stanza I liked a lot:
The sun winks at me
as the sea birds sing-song
a mournful melody
you within the wind
caress me as I hear your voice------you hear, he never left. so fantastic when when we realize this. loved your poem.

[Ladysue]

Oh, so heartfelt and beautifully expressed. yes, not today...very moving...

[deeps]

This is a wonderful write Chole,
Beautiful as well.
I love the ending of it.

[Ruth]

Wow
A beautiful poem Chloe, hon! I like this a lot:)
So many thoughts about the sea, especially when staring out towards it! lol
Wonderful piece!
xx

[Emily B]

not today, not today, not time yet today

beautiful words

[Jibey]

How powerfully the weather affects our emotions... You bring from this situation pictures of a despairing heart... yet the will to live continues, as nature continues in its course... Strong, moving and intense writing...