Ten Years

"From an image born"

The waves lap against the pier
wind blows cold from the north
the white caps seem to spell out my name
wind screaming it like a Banshee

Every day for ten years I have come here
on this very day, the day you died leaving me alone
to survive in a world as cold and vast as  this
ocean

I stand at the end of the pier staring into the
oceans depth looking for a sign
wondering if this will be the year I join you

The sun is yawning rubbing sleep from his eyes
the cold overcast sky begins to thaw
the sun opens his sleepy eyes


Seabirds circle round me as the ocean calms
I know in my heart you don't want this
you want me to stay here without you
I want to dive into the ocean and let her
hold me like a mother holds a broken child

Child, ours as lost without you as I am
my grief overwhelming consuming me
my child living a nightmare of his own
no help from me

Selfish I have been thinking only of me


The sun winks at me
as the sea birds sing-song
a mournful melody
you within the wind
caress me as I hear your voice

I say as I walk back down the pier

I know,
not today
not today

Author's Note

many thoughts came looking at the image of the cold ocean and the deserted pier early dawn .. this is what came out

Reviews

[Christina May Shanaberg]

I always enjoyed the exercises is school, when we were to write a story or a poem about a single picture. Each story was unique, but the general emotions seemed to remain pretty uniform. This poem was finely presented, very sad, and written by a wonderfully emotional poet. If you look hard enough, you can find a story in a single blade of grass, like Robert Frost's "Tuft of Flowers" (my favorite of his poems.

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

its nice, loved it.. it is something we can relate in many ways, a poem with different descriptions..

[Edmund S. Obumba]

moving..I had flushes when I got deeper into this..very touching and raw.I like it.

[R J Askew]

Ach, life and death, with us in the middle of it all. How the hell did we get here and what do we do when we lose someone or something of ourselves? You capture the way we can be overwhelmed by the questions and issues that are themselves like an emotional ocean on which our lives are lived.
I esp liked this line >> the white caps seem to spell out my name ... and this >> The sun is yawning rubbing sleep from his eyes
It's great that the elements seem to conspire to drive the sadness away. But we know that this vigil will continue with the years.

[Schadenfreude]

I loved the great imagery throughout! It was so great, I could almost see myself there, sitting on the pier. It was wonderful :)

[Amelie]

I like how you presented the rich layers of emotions in the character's psyche and the conflict within. This piece presents a battle on the most tragic events in our lives, the confusion we get from omens and false judgments and pretenses and the toll of our indecisions. Nevertheless, metaphorically speaks of one's everyday battles.

[Danielle]

This is a very nice poem, I like the part "Child, ours as lost without you as I am
my grief overwhelming consuming me my child living a nightmare of his own no help from me." You convey such depth from the image. Very talented!

[Andrew J Proverbs]

Hi Chloe, I stumbled across this while searching for something to read. I like the ambiguity of this piece; I'm sure everyone reading it will take something different out of it. There seem to be a lot of conflicting emotions at work here. I wonder which one won out?

[Natalie C]

Oh wow, oh wow my friend .... I so loved this piece *too much*

I loved how you took one single scene and turned it in such a heart wrenching piece. It has it all ... Hint of melancholy along with a almost bitter sweet "lyricalness" to it. Your imagery was outstanding to say the least and it just seem to make your piece flow as effortlessly as the ocean's waves.

Great write!!

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Chloe,

Well you've captured the feeling very well. Sometimes there's such melancholy and sadness in a picture.

Very best regards,

Rick

[Lipstick_Lesbian]

My goodness, this is a stunning piece. I have done this same thing each year on the same day -- gone to a beach. But I've never written something as poignant as this. Really excellent. I loved how you captured these emotions in a way that I wish I could begin to. Thank you for this. xx