The image of the cloud captures the feeling of insubstantiality (sorry about that word!) ... The pattern is used with skill to create a visual effect of the cloud floating down and the tears that flow... One sense the fractured emotion in the writing -
My eyes water
heart beats
F a S t E r
that's a heart raving loneliness..which speaks as a voice in this poem..a voice which seeks solace from something distant and away from Earth. Well written poem, interesting construct here..
You've created quite and ambience through your form and flow, and your words are filled with an emotional angst. This is such a brilliant self expression, and I can relate to the feel of falling...
I have not seen this gem before, Chloe. The visuals you used are so cool. Such a surreal existence in the clouds. It's like a defense mechanism to stay up high in the "lofty" clouds, where it is ok to "rain" most of the time...
I adore the way this makes me think of David Bowie, n' THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH (one of my FAVE MOVIES!), n' the way this flows down the page is GORGEOUS!!!!!
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You have managed to produce these words in the most beautiful way chloe! They fall, like rain from the sky, pitta patter, down they come, just as I imagine, the inspiration came to you.
Beautiful drenching inspiration from beautiful you. I really like, especially the way it ends...most daze
Love the drifting feel of this one... capable of serenely floating by or whipping up into a gale, as needed. It's fun to play with form too. The only suggestion I could make is pulling the "I rain" and "most daze" a little closer together as the "I rain" is easily overlooked.
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate?
I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..