no personal meaning just popped into my head as i sat here
and i need an ending used the suggestion by sera.... closure or disclosure i chose dis.. not dat haha
My Review
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... it's a vivid, telling, and compelling social comment ... absolutely brilliant ... "death by closure"? ... "death by disclosure"? ... also just popped in my head when i read that line ... "death by -" ... very powerful verse ... exceptionally skillful ... so much has been said with such few and simple words ... great verse ...
I confess...I laughed at the dad. But the images are quite disturbing, and, as the repeated stanza shows, these things are kept very quiet, and very secret.
I disagree with Gandré's comment. Kids may have rights and help organizations, but hardly any kid would WANT to be put into some facility or help group. I know someone who particularly objected to it, and was eventually forced to go. Teachers and neighbors, while they may be aware of that these "atrocities" exist, are not often aware that someone is committing them. Parents, alone, can be completely ignorant if their children are doing them. The internet changed a lot, but it does not give help to people. In cases that involve illness of any kind, it more often generates paranoia, causing people to act rashly and irrationally, as opposed to the intended purpose of spreading knowledge, so that people act rationally.
pull away the shades and let me give some review,
Very nice poem, the repetition of the stanzas was good to read and the little secret things you have written was humorous and good too...
keep up the good work :)
There is so much to this write... the depth of our true selves.. so often hidden. And here is a story disclosed that seems to grow with the reading. Knowing, yet not wanting to be know. Powerful words, my friend.
You know there is so much truth to alot of this. Wow very well written and tells so much about society as a whole and the dirty little secrets we all seem to conceal on some levels.
This would be a great walk-in for a movie. The line is amazing. Each story create a picture of more craziness we can be surrounded bye. I like this poem. Like a good movie you create a outstanding poem.
Coyote
these taboos.. thanks goodness children in democracies have many rights and there are plenty help organizations and teachers are aware.. and neighbors, too. After internet everything changed and still es changing. I liked your innocent description of familiar atrocities, it left room for imagination, this I really like about your poetry.
Like this one alot. All the hidden hypocrisy of the inside seedy suburban world...
The poem has a rich poison of ugliness soaked gently and subtly into its attractive lines. The repeated slogan balances the visions real nicely, and the understatement of the 'dirty little secrets' gives the words extra power.
PS. reminds me of a song called 'Neighbourhood' by a band called Space. i won't waste space (pun intended) going into it now but look it up, i think you'll like it. (not as dark, Natural Born Killers-style as your piece, but still good - and funny... forgot to say, this poem has a nice humorous edge to it too)
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate?
I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..