Please forgive me

I knew this is how it would end
found dead on a park bench
yesterday's news covering your cold
 stiff body

Was it my fault
I mean, I tried, didn't I
tried to help you
I went to AA meetings with you
I poured your vodka down the drain
even though I got a black eye for it
I tried I tried my best

Now a call, "Can you indentify a body, we found
your name and address in the victims pocket
it was a bit crumpled but we finally figured out the numbers
so can you please come look at this body'?

Could I
Could I

How come it has to be me
Why do I have to be the one to look at your dead body
Why did I have to be the one you chose
Why did I have to stay
Why did I stay

Shaking as I walk to the table you lie on
Looking at you
Memories fill my head

Click

You and me walking
hands clasped
the same music playing inside our heads
looking at each other with pure
unadulterated love
The future ...

Click

You look peaceful
not what  I expected
 better than you did the last time
I saw you
the day you picked up your knapsack
and begged one more time
for me to please let you stay

Be hard I tell myself
don't give in
peace at last
no more beatings
no more pleading with you
please don't
please don't drink
please get help

Did I forsake you?
Did God forsake you?
Did you forsake yourself?


I kiss your eyes
Wipe away the tears
and say,
"Please forgive me"

Click


 

Author's Note

partially fictional

Reviews

[Devons]

This is tragically beautiful and very sad indeed. I really like the way you separated sections of images with a *click* like a camera taking cold snapshots of a memory, conjuring up the idea of another cold camera - the one that snaps pictures of a corpse, cold and without humility...
It is something i have pondered at times.. running into someone again one day to find they have fallen to a low ebb - and its an image you do not wish to face.. The same way you would not wish to face that same image in your own reflection.. To compare faces between dates - and see the horrible difference the ravages of time and experience have written upon you. Like Dorian Gray's painting...
It is also a stark warning to alcholics - although i don't think it would make any difference to the outcome..

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Devons we miss you here you were are one of the best writers and reviewers I hope you come back again thank you for this reviewh

[Trace]

Memories have stirred something very intense here and your writing has told the story. So hard to deal with, yet was it a blessing in reality? Maybe it was his way of saying: I am sorry. Very vivid picture painted here. Trace

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Thank you trace I appreciate your insight is very hard living with an alcoholic you get so frustrated yet again you know it is a disease and want to help again thank you

[An owl on the moon]

Brilliantly dark meanderings... there is such a sadness in loss... and losing one far too soon brings added pain... the weight of the world... Each fragment here fits into a canvas of fading light and feelings of overwhelming sorrows...

[Laughing-Bear]

My Dear Writing Friend,
As one whom has for years attended twelve-step meetings to keep king alcohol at bay, I found this write a true to life snapshot. For those of us who battle this monster there are only three ups. Sobered up, locked up, or covered up.
I felt the pain in this write, a pain I see often when those whom come to the rooms, go back out and try the dance once more. Very well written.

Blessings, Laughing-Bear

[kublakhan27]

Wow, there is a lot to be learned about the so-called human condition here, unfortunately it is the darker elements that stand out. The memories of somewhat better times only serves to underline the tragic elements that much more. Relationships can bring out the best in someone, but I'm more inclined to believe these days that it brings out the worst. That's also the impression I get from this piece. It is real, and it is life for many. I think there is a tendency for people to deny that at times, so as sad as it is to play your images through my mind, I'm glad that you've presented them in such a raw way. Powerful stuff here.

[writing mojo]

this tragic write with fiction based on true story is replicated well, from the pleas, to the tears, and the kisses the whole effect is moving a part of me I have not felt in a long time...excellent piece

[Angi]

Chloe, I was touched by the topic of this piece. It is a hard thing to reconcile. Alcoholism and abuse are so rampant. My mother lived this relationship with my father. My brother and I watched it play out. I heard a click sound between the scenes. That was a really cool way to have your reader imagine snapshots like that. Powerful poem. Angi~

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad poem. I lost many to drinking. A bad way to died. I like the way you led the reader to the sad ending. People who live for the booze love but one thing. I lost my father and two brother to drugs and booze. The poem told the truth. Even if we couldn't save someone. We will wish we tried harder. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Thank you so much for reading coyote and I'm sorry I did not get by and say happy veterans day to you thank you for that too

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend.

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

As always you're very very welcome

[Relic]

You put a lot into this and the poem is powerful as a result. I've thought about the subject and often wondered if the story Jeckl and Hide was based around this type of behavior from observation of so many who rely on the bottle in daily life. That type of living is a sad one and those around them suffer greatly as you've pointed out here. The retrospective click is a clever devise for her to go to in order to relive the better times. You did a great job on this.

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Thank you very much I do appreciate your review and kind words the click just came into my head so I typed click I often wonder too about people with this affliction though I have lived with an alcoholic what causes someone to depend on something to put that something before everything and everyone. Again thank you

[Desert Dreamer]

Very well written. So sad yet healing as well. The emotion in your poem has made me lose my words...