Surfacing

I swim just below the surface
Not too far down
Just far enough
No one notices
I hide here coming up for air
When
Whenever
My lungs feel full and bursting
The tide
Comes and sweeps me away
From the world
In which
I feel
Alien

Once I walked upon Earth in Sunlight
It shone around me like a halo
bright and brilliant
Golden
I could breathe free
I could feel, touch, smell
The world was azure
Lavender tinted

I fell down into an
Abyss
I was struck by
Darkness
The Darkness envelpoed me in its cloak of electric
Black velvet

I longed for the darkness and the embrace
As I waited beneath a
Blood red
Moon
I could again touch, smell, feel,
the Darkness bruised my face

Darkness
When did I fall under your spell that I could not dispel

As the Darkness faded
The Water invited me soft and salty
Like a Teardrop
I swim here
Just under the surface
I need to
I should come up for
Air
The Water is withering ,
withering me away
away

Away like a little boys lost kite
Flown into the Sky
Not gone , perhaps,
Perhaps lost in transition

I think the sky is falling
There is no place to hide
Unless the Water can protect me from its blow
Maybe it can
Maybe it can do this

Go back to sleep
Swimming so deep
Against the
Tide
Which is no
No Prince at all
Yet it still takes my breath away

Reviews

[Theresa Anne]

Such descriptive use of color through out...Lavender tinted...Blood Red Moon. It brings great life to this piece. You wording is great and I enjoy reading your work.

[justjenn_2u]

Such a descriptive poem! I could feel comfort in the darkness here.

You write with such ease, so natural with your words.

Wonderful write!

[LonelySoul]

this poem may start just below the surface,but is a very deep poem indeed...

[J. Hampton]

This 1st verse stole my attention " swim just below the surface
Not too far down
Just far enough
No one notices
I hide here coming up for air
When
Whenever
My lungs feel full and bursting
The tide
Comes and sweeps me away
From the world
In which
I feel
Alien

.... sometimes we become a comfortable prisoner ...
trading anonymity for ....freedom

crucial and excellent word-play Chloe
admirably done

Blesssssssss

[Pax Analog]

The play on "Tide" and "Prince" is a cool twist at the end, good audio navigation. Actually, the whole poem inverts life on land, life in the sea, reversing the sequence, and the emotional symbolism, sea taking breath away is another opposition to the romantic trope. All this solace-seeking in reversals is dizzying, intriguing, good poetry.

[MagicHearted Knight]

Excellent work. The flow and cadence of the piece reminds me a great deal of the early works of Thoreau. You've done well to convey your vision in a truly lyrical way. The simply yet honest emotion you project in this piece is captivating. Again, Top Notch work.

[C. C. Burl]

Oh, creepy. But wonderful imagery; this is a wonderful poem and an enjoyable (if kinda scary) read. Flora.