Surfacing

I swim just below the surface
Not too far down
Just far enough
No one notices
I hide here coming up for air
When
Whenever
My lungs feel full and bursting
The tide
Comes and sweeps me away
From the world
In which
I feel
Alien

Once I walked upon Earth in Sunlight
It shone around me like a halo
bright and brilliant
Golden
I could breathe free
I could feel, touch, smell
The world was azure
Lavender tinted

I fell down into an
Abyss
I was struck by
Darkness
The Darkness envelpoed me in its cloak of electric
Black velvet

I longed for the darkness and the embrace
As I waited beneath a
Blood red
Moon
I could again touch, smell, feel,
the Darkness bruised my face

Darkness
When did I fall under your spell that I could not dispel

As the Darkness faded
The Water invited me soft and salty
Like a Teardrop
I swim here
Just under the surface
I need to
I should come up for
Air
The Water is withering ,
withering me away
away

Away like a little boys lost kite
Flown into the Sky
Not gone , perhaps,
Perhaps lost in transition

I think the sky is falling
There is no place to hide
Unless the Water can protect me from its blow
Maybe it can
Maybe it can do this

Go back to sleep
Swimming so deep
Against the
Tide
Which is no
No Prince at all
Yet it still takes my breath away

Reviews

[Elizabeth]

The structure and flow are beyond perfect. Your voice here is very clear. Under the water, feeling alien in the world. Darkness bruising you, though beckoning and then fading... this is haunting. The rhythm makes it even more so. away, away, away... I loved every line. Every image is laced with another layer. Outstanding.

[Devons]

Mysterious words of such power that one is left feeling exactly as the words describe. "I think the sky is falling" and "No Prince at all" - both these lines had a profound effect on me. Their stand-alone quality is quite something; and they are the kind of lines I should wish to write myself if I had attempted to write this. (in fact, one of these lines I would have chosen as the title, such is their influence and sense of meaning)
Overall, a darkly attractive poem, and conveying such feeling through image and metaphor - and without directly relating to anything specifically real, yet the feeling and meaning it provokes is very real indeed. I'm glad you brought this poem back into the limelight. It more than deserves it.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

oh how truly exqisite the dual tones at once velvet smooth and edged serrated~from one perspective a mythic exploration of girl who would be made of ocean~ made for ocean~ from another it seems a dance with id~ with psyche~ diving into inner depths~ coaxing meaning forth out of pure saturation ~ I adore the fluidity~ the liquid sensate braille feling of this smooth and dusky poetic~ beautifully drawn~

[Lydia Blackwell]

this is very cryptic, but somehow, I identify with all the disjointed feelings. It has some nice energies. i like it because it is different.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Sometimes it feels as though most of this earthly walk is in darkness. I think that we have to really actively look for our light, although it seems like such hard work.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Now how did I miss this one? I love it dear. Darkness can be a friend, it helps soothe sometimes. But we must remember the light and remember to breathe.

[Art Sun]

One could sit and decipher your thoughts and yet the poem is a mystery of emotions that can be interpreted as the journey of which one or we make through this world from the innocent change of walking through the darkness that life offers and then escaping back into the light of that tide awaiting us to change us back again...

nice work...

[Aekmy]

The first and last stanzas were my favorite.
Great great writing. No doubt about talent existing here.

[.]

This was beautiful! I love the oceans and seas and for me, the feeling of being just under the surface brought emotions of joy as well as fear. Drowning isn't a fun thing.
The last stanza really is my fav! I think it sums up the course of the piece nicely. Bringing to our awareness that some of the most beautiful things, that take our breath away, can also be deadly.

Love it!
*Big hugs!* - Tara