I hate my life and i wanna die

you know the story

Doom
Gloom and
Darkness surround me

There is no meaning to life
we are all dead
so
why try?

The demons visit me nightly
bringing on the pain
i welcome them
they are my
SALVATION

They sing to me
screeching out their
songs enticing me to sing along

I HATE LOVE
I LOVE HATE
DARKNESS IS MY LOVER
MY SALVATION AND MY FATE
TURN THE BLACK TO BLAZING RED
RUNNINING
STREAMING
SCREAMING
SING A SONG OF SIX SIX SIEX PENCE
LOUDLY
CRY
CRY
THERE IS NO HEAVEN
GOD IS DEAD
WE ARE YOUR GODS NOW ..

No light do they see
these poor souls
no happiness
no honeysuckle fragrance
only dour and foul

No smile of a sweet child
only a demon's caw

Embracing the darkenss
shutting out the light
killing all the fireflies
losing all Salvation
losing all hope

God,
it is hard today
to see this kind of pain

Open their eyes
let them see the beauty
the love
not hate
let the demons
subside
let the darkness take it's place
and the light fill their
eyes
hearts
souls
 

Author's Note

This sucks .. a friend said today , ' life is nothing but crap . why try'.. the person is a dark person
never sees light or smiles .. and she has this baby that is something anyone would smile about .. and yes, she is on medication for depression.. so much sadness in this world .. still there are good things too!
This is just thoughts about that i guess?

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Amen. My man lives shrouded in the darkness and I try and try to pull him out, but when those demons have such a hard grip...it's so hard to loosen it. So I continue to pray, like you have here (seems like a prayer to me) and hope the light finds its way in somehow. Last night I brought home a Positive Energy candle to burn in his room....maybe it will help, maybe not, but energy does follow intent, does it not? I'll say some prayers for your friend and her child. It's so sad when mommies aren't happy.....it stifles the happiness in the child eventually. Very hard to watch, very hard to take. I hope the light returns for her. Much love~~Cat

[Vatsayayana]

Oh my! Eeeewwwgawds! What a picture. It's so quaint, so perfect. The silverware posed, ready to go.
All for a human heart!

Sometimes people refuse to see the light. The love, the laughter.
There's such beauty in the world around us, such wonders. And yet, they turn away, refusing to acknowledge another way, another path. One that is good and pure and whole.
I'm sorry your friend is this way. I hope that it changes, because sometimes, that's all we have is hope.
Beautifully executed.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Such a beautiful piece, especially your "Author's Note." You're still beautiful, ChloeBaby. I like what you say, "so much sadness in this world .. still there are good things too!"

That is the truth! And, I like: "and she has this baby that is something anyone would smile about .. " How can you not love little kids? They are so adorable!

I love the lines:

"Open their eyes
let them see the beauty
the love
not hate"

Hate is a wasted emotion. I suggest that people try out "distemper," "disgust," and "dislike."

Keep up the good work, kiddo! Every piece of light that you put out into the world (much like the darkness) tends to be amplified and continue the resurrection of our species.

Luv,
Gabe

[RachelleB]

found this poem intense, and can relate as im sure many can...but it is when u experience all the darkenss when the true light can finally shine thru, i learned thisthe hard way...i love the insprirational turn of the last stanza, which is whee the hope in life finally comes out too,,,if we let it, are aware of it, amd let go of the pain...its hard...but so worth it...i like the rhythm and structure here too...a very nice write...

Rachel

[Stacey]

heh. I'm sure you could already tell that I am that kind of person from my poems. I agree that it is a shame though.

"no honeysuckle fragrance
only dour and foul"

[deadlife]

God is dead!
Where?
Was he alive before..?
HE's dead for many people,but not now from times ago..and many even don't believe that there's any. Many think now that ok..so now He's dead,afterall.
But still there're many who believe He never live,never die. God is someone above all these things. Many love Him, many Hate Him. For many of us, life sucks..So they suck life..from the surroundings, well..there're still a many people for whom life's a blessing! Many love to cry,many cry for love..many hate love, many hate crying! Darkness is a lover of many of us, but all these things never make any difference to God, to Life, to Light!
When i saw the title..i reread the name of the writer, i knew you Cannot write a negative poem..i mean as far as i understand you as a person..By the means of your writings..And messages.. I know you can never be in favor of writing any such thing that'll spread any dark or negative feeling to this world. Lol.
And i always praise you for this.. :)
however it is such a wonderful write, i love it. And i do pray the same.
There is darkness, and will always be..as without darkness we can't see the light. But we should see the light..Darkness is also appreciated..but it's to be remember darkness hide everything,while light reveals.. Let there be light.
But few things should not be revealed..So we should praise the darkness also. As both are the part of the same God. And we should accept Him as a whole.
Blessings..
And thanks for a wonderful writing.
Regards,
rupam

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Life is crap. And human beings aren't worth the skin they're printed on. Materialism is dealing with this s**t day after stinking day. The flesh is full of pain, always. And nobody has a monopoly on pain! Every addict of every drug, every alcoholic, every prisoner and every saint got there by the same road, pain. Metal must be tempered before it becomes strong, earthen vessels must be baked. If you know what it means to be in the fire, why then do you cry out? Adversity can destroy. Everything that does not kill us does NOT make us stronger. Fred was full of s**t himself. What a stupid thing to say! A woman loses her child and it robs her of strength. Cancer, even for survivors, does not make a person strong. It is a moronic delusion. So here's the deal, life is not easy and it is not nice. Life is not fair. But life has something to teach us each and every one. And we will not pass until we have learned our lesson. Life does not yield secrets easily either so you will need every second to search, dig, study, and work like a slave with all your talent and potential. I've been asked, "What is the meaning of life?" My answer was, What? You had a life and did not give it one? The flesh is to burn in the oven. The spirit will remain. We are given to endure and blessed with nature and imagination. I am a survivor, still searching for my grain of truth to carry home and drop onto the beach.

[Rain]

I think sometimes we create our own hell. Your piece is so perfect. It mirrors the bitter pain we sometimes feel. Great write. One minor typo...DARKENSS IS MY LOVER, Rain..

[Shelly Wiseberg]

The inner sorrow of pain, loss, hurt, and anger, the feeling of helplessness is all relatable to many at one point or another depending on their situation and story, and its also the way you perceive it which either makes it or breaks it in choice. Life can get tough you just have to keep moving forward no matter the pain. Shelly

[Gary H]

The point that hit me here is in reading your 'author's note' about medication. I think when you are feeling
down, it's easier to feel worse than to dig yourself out of your grave and change your mood. Medication does not help much apart from to calm you so the world ahead doesn't seem so bad. Problem is that you can't experience the true beauty of life because however much you try, there is part of you that's not in sync with your emotions. Sorry, what am I talking about - I've only been strung up on strong painkillers and no nothing about depression.

I do think though that if you are feeling bad finding things that make you feel worse is so much easier than fighting for the good in life. Listening to music/radio and watching TV can easily make you worse.

I'm reminded of the Dead Kennedys 'I'm looking forward to death'. Must go find it and have a listen.

Worthy write and made me think of past times.