Oh my gosh....I absolutely LOVE this piece! I picked out this as a favorite part:
I was keeping up
unitl the polka-dots blew off
my dress
I stopped to gather them
fell behind
It's so genius....I can actually see you stopping to pick up all your polka dots...how fun and original. The ending also blew me away....a brilliant twist. The whole piece is just fabulous, if you ask me. Good write!!
I think you should get the picture to sit with the poem. Definately a sight to be seen - the snow down where I live was like dandruff in comparison. Also it's a hint at the feel of the poem. The weather has altered your moods, seemingly you are childlike chasing (a snow idea even though rain comes down?), polka dots again point to weather changing lightheartedness - dots falling off or maybe your dress becomes snow covered making you think they have fallen?
It's a cute poem.
I almost caught you
rain came and drained me dry
i fell behind
just a bit behind
so silly of me to chase you
as if i should chase you
you're always one step behind
these two verses... amazing. I love how the last line leaves you. And this whole piece is so true. the moment you realize, why the hell are you doing this? why am I chasing this person? the polka dot line is great to. like how, you can fall apart because of the chase. but then you came together and you realize. GREAT!
Oh, Chloe. This poem is EXCELLENT. Not just the imagery, which is wonderful, it's the sentiment. Twisted around it's so wonderful the way you show how difficult it is to be a girl! Always a step behind, always a step ahead, always out of step and stopping to pick up polka-dots... I LOVE IT!
I love the picture of the snow, it is fantastic. This piece is very well written and I love the switch at the end. Wonderfully penned. I, too, love the part about the polka-dots, so unique and original.
I really like this a lot. There is a surrealism to it which is always intriguing. I love the end... he's a step behind you... wonderful concept. Many cheers.
Such a great visual write, I agree the polka dots are fantastic.
Sometimes the best pieces come from just sitting and not planning.
Well done you on a charming piece of writing.
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate?
I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..