Chasing

I was chasing you
like a long lost dream
so silly of me
as if i should chase you

I was keeping up
until the polka-dots blew off
my dress
I stopped to gather them
fell behind

I was on your heels
like the hounds of hell
like a woman gone mad
chasing you

so silly of me to chase you
as if i should chase you

I almost caught you
rain came and drained me dry
i fell behind
just a bit behind

so silly of me to chase you
as if i should chase you
you’re always one step behind

Author's Note

i just decided to see what came out as i set here.. this was/is it
strange and befuddled..

The picture is of our snow we finally got two weeks ago ! :)
So pretty

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Oh my gosh....I absolutely LOVE this piece! I picked out this as a favorite part:
I was keeping up
unitl the polka-dots blew off
my dress
I stopped to gather them
fell behind
It's so genius....I can actually see you stopping to pick up all your polka dots...how fun and original. The ending also blew me away....a brilliant twist. The whole piece is just fabulous, if you ask me. Good write!!

[AK]

Remarkable how the creative mind works. Such wonder writing here... really!

[Sheila Kline]

Oh, I love the images in this write...especially the line...

I was keeping up until the polka-dots blew off my dress
GREAT LINE!
and a wonderful poem!

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

I like the passion of this poem and the honesty of a lady who is worth more than just a passing glance she deserves total love and devotion and stands up for her hungry heart a nice write

[An owl on the moon]

The movement and feel of this is absolutely wonderful! I could feel the energy and the anxiety... Brilliant work!

[O!]

like the twist in the end...but what blew me off were the polka dots blown off! too cool a description.....

x,
O!

[Pax Analog]

What movie was it with the lines: "If you were following me, how is it you were in front of me?" "I was following you very fast!" ;-) Kind of a variation. Sounds Groucho-esque, but not sure. . .

Anyway, I love the part where polka dots fall of your dress, and you stop to gather them (once wants to add that action to the song "Itsie-bitsie Teenie-weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"). ;-)

And indeed, the sense of chasing a "person of interest" is because they are at least a step or two behind.

Brilliant and blithe, I can even hear this fine poem sung. . .

O by the way, didn't you have an R.I.P. for Patrick Swayze earlier? R.I.P. Jim Carroll too. Time chased them both. . .

[John McGrael]

i really really like the polka dots part
it reminds me of alice in wonderland sort of...
thats the sort of thing i would expect to happen in that movie u know

but im not gonna lie and say i understood this piece... because i am completely confused right now :P
but i did still enjoy reading it although i dont really understand... i like the word choice

can you explain it for me please?? :)
cause i think its probably really cool
it seems that way to me

[j. w. lodwick]

Hello Chloe: I really liked this piece. I like where you say "So silly of me to chase you as if i should chase you" Not only does this say that you're no longer willing to participate in the chase, but that you're able to walk from it without too much damage (at least this is my perception) and I take from this a piece of that power you displayed simply by reading your words :)

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

Hi Chloe!

Stanza 2, line 3:
I would just lose it. It seems to take away from the flow you've been building up to that point.

Stanza 3, line 2:
The metaphor really doesn't seem to fit here. The mood seemed whimsical until "hounds of hell," then it seemed harsh. Then it goes back to being whimsical in the next stanza. To me, it just didn't seem to fit.

But, beyond that I liked it. YOu take the reader with you on this journey. There are some strange turns ... polk-dots flying off ... but like moves on. And you question your chase, get the reader to think in these terms.

Thanks for sharing this. I hope I helped. I enjoyed reading it.

Cheers!
Doc.

[Stacey]

That picture is beautiful! The second stanza is cute, and the ending was surprising. Yay :]