Your Other Love

Your Other Love

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

just came to me so i got up and jotted it down ..

"

You kissed me dizzy
said you were going for a walk
i didn't think to follow
the doctor said you were fine
a complete recovery
almost a miracle

And yes, it seemed so
the sunshine was back in your eyes
burning brightly
darkness blotted
gone

Thinking back
perhaps
the brightness shining through
was the madness seeping in
once again
and i didn't notice
so happy was i that you were back

A few hours later a knock on the door
a man in uniform standing there
looking anxious, nervous
my heart fell
i could not swallow

Seems you had walked calmly, quietly
into the Sea
no looking back
no struggles
you succumbed to your other love
Mistress Sea

You had left me
left me alone
hollow and empty
dizzy
but not from your kisses

Sometimes as i set by the shore
where you took your last walk
the sun shining down
my eyes blurred from the brightness
i see you there in the water waving
waving and smiling at me

my heart lightens

Setting there with the moonlight melting
into the Sea
I think i hear you call my name
softly, faintly
oh so sweetly i hear you say my name

my heart sings again

It is only the waves crashing in
my heart dies again
you are gone
swept away willingly into her arms

It's these times i curse her
her beauty,  seduction
she took you from me
so far away

It hurts to breathe
i cannot feel
inside i am as dead as you
half not whole

I die again with each wave that tickles my toes



 

© 2008 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
trying to write something new.. so tired of trying to find the right reviews for the few poems i have left... starting over seems easier .. tho i would gladly repost my poem Different .. gone

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Featured Review

Oh my!! The poems that come to you are fantastic. This is so sad. Is there a story behind it? I love how you carry the message here and the ending so sad but beautifully penned my friend.



Author's Note: I know, I've had the same prob, so sorry Chloe.

Posted 16 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

this took my breath away..
"looking anxious, nervous
my heart fell
i could not swallow"------so strongly swept me away and kept me open and alert..
"swept away willingly into her arms"----so very emotional,chloe...amazing
"you succumbed to your other love
Mistress Sea"------love it..

love.ink.and flow to you......shean,[as writer] ...i am...

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WOW. Amazing.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh my goodness, I had no idea where this was going and found myself kind of feeling like the girl in this poem. How tragic, but a well told story of love and loss.

This line is amazing -

"I die again with each wave that tickles my toes"

great work here

Posted 16 Years Ago


You did an amazing job with this piece. I really liked the way it flowed and the scene it left there for me to witness helplessly. You are a master of painting visuals with your words my dear you always leave me seeing so much to the point of smelling my surroundings in a sense. Thanks for forwarding this my way always a pleasure to read your words.

Posted 16 Years Ago


What a sad story! You really tell it so well and you drew me in deep with each line. I like the sea as a "she" here, you really wrote this in an excellent way.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This work struck me hard. My husband went in for a stress test... we just found out that he has a heart problem. This helped me to exhale. Thank you. It was beautifull worded... the story well said. A tidal quality to the pace. excellent.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I lived by the sea, working in a home for the elderly with many old people who gazed out and looked like they wanted the water to cover them over forever. Some would go out on days blowing a gale and look like they would never return, thankfully they did although I was never sure how thankful they were.
So I feel an affinity with this, a feeling that if I still lived so close on lonely days I might want to venture sinking into the depths of the waves. I just hope those days never come......

Posted 16 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Chloe-

That's beautiful. Positively stunning! I will have to come back to it when I can devote more time to it.

-Gabe


Posted 16 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

This is so different. Beautiful, melodic, with just the right amount of loss and longing. . .

Posted 16 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.

You didn't lose anything with this piece. So beautiful. Rain..

Posted 16 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 19, 2008

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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