Your Other Love

just came to me so i got up and jotted it down ..

You kissed me dizzy
said you were going for a walk
i didn't think to follow
the doctor said you were fine
a complete recovery
almost a miracle

And yes, it seemed so
the sunshine was back in your eyes
burning brightly
darkness blotted
gone

Thinking back
perhaps
the brightness shining through
was the madness seeping in
once again
and i didn't notice
so happy was i that you were back

A few hours later a knock on the door
a man in uniform standing there
looking anxious, nervous
my heart fell
i could not swallow

Seems you had walked calmly, quietly
into the Sea
no looking back
no struggles
you succumbed to your other love
Mistress Sea

You had left me
left me alone
hollow and empty
dizzy
but not from your kisses

Sometimes as i set by the shore
where you took your last walk
the sun shining down
my eyes blurred from the brightness
i see you there in the water waving
waving and smiling at me

my heart lightens

Setting there with the moonlight melting
into the Sea
I think i hear you call my name
softly, faintly
oh so sweetly i hear you say my name

my heart sings again

It is only the waves crashing in
my heart dies again
you are gone
swept away willingly into her arms

It's these times i curse her
her beauty,  seduction
she took you from me
so far away

It hurts to breathe
i cannot feel
inside i am as dead as you
half not whole

I die again with each wave that tickles my toes



 

Author's Note

trying to write something new.. so tired of trying to find the right reviews for the few poems i have left... starting over seems easier .. tho i would gladly repost my poem Different .. gone

Reviews

[An Ordinary Woman]

Oh my!! The poems that come to you are fantastic. This is so sad. Is there a story behind it? I love how you carry the message here and the ending so sad but beautifully penned my friend.



Author's Note: I know, I've had the same prob, so sorry Chloe.

[BrightEyes]

there is nothing worse than the not knowing of those left behind when someone chooses to take their own life without leaving any inkling of what is to come. You've captured that feeling here very well - it is more than just grief, it is a betrayal. I loved the last line - "I die again with each wave that tickles my toes". I think because it weaves the tragic with what one would think to be a pleasurable experience. nicely done.

laura

[Ed Rector]

the last line is rather unique so i give you that as the top portion of the poem... the entire poem was alright but the last line just made it humurous in a not so humurous piece...

[Astrid Hamilton]

Gone, where?
You stay right here in the mistress sea,
what do your eyes see except what seems to be your own flux,
the balance is not love and unlove;
for me,
I need those wings of the butterfly,
but not to be elusive,
carry me on the same hope, unseen to the eye
but premonition of what has always been real,
like your poetry,
whether this or that, yin or yang,
trying to make a heart be persuaded into that same confusion,
I think the ending is something I do not quite understand,
but if I look deeper, something will tell me to still feel the way I do:
I'm in lve with writing too and poetry,
and love, above all,
have such smiles and laughter and kisses in life,
not strife,
gone too.

[Constance]

I love the last line, but the entire poem is quite palpably emotive. Thank you.

[Danielle Asher]

this is a great piece, sad. the feeling of being left for something so much bigger than you. something you have no control over, something you normally love so much but now you only want to blame. the last line says so much..."I die again with each wave that tickles my toes"

so much joy taken away in what feels like a moment. You express the tragedy with such beauty.

[[untitled]]

As i was saying, hmmm, I think you know this one speaks to me so clearly. feels very personal, and ones heart cannot help but bleed as one reads it. Personally i do love this piece, and do hope you will in time let that water wash away all that is the pain seen in this write. I believe dolphins carry the souls of those loved and lost to the sea. Heartwrenchin, comes to mind...

[Bubo]

The mistress sea...........taking a much loved one who suffers.........and the loss and loneliness
shine through.......so so sad............
The last line just gave me a lump in my throat............having been a sea girl I can relate to this.

[Shelly Wiseberg]

Very sad losing a loved one that way, just having the memories to hold onto. Very heartfelt, sad, painful write,Shelly

[Kara Emily Krantz]

what a wonderful idea here! love it

sorry about the losses of your prior work, but you definitely have the right idea to keep writing, and plunging forward.

"perhaps
the brightness shining through
was the madness seeping in
once again
and i didn't notice
so happy was i that you were back"

that verse is fantastic. I love how you compared the sea to a mistress. i almost wanted you to comment further on how it's like "he cheated" on you with the sea... but it's hinted at, which is also enough.

The ending was great. All around, I was really intrigued by the story the poem presented, and the lyrical way you presented it :)

hugs

[James K. Blaylock]

I really loved this piece... but it is so sad and tragic.