William Shatner... Get Outta My Head!

I hear William Shatner talking to me inside my head and he is telling me a story .. a silly one at that~

 

 

 

Star Date September 30, 3002

Captain's Log:

We encountered a huge asteroid today. It was so huge it was not measurable. Scotty said to go around it, but we couldn't! We pushed it as fast as we could! The asteroid stayed its course. Finally, we threw large amounts of salt on it and it melted.We discovered it was no asteroid at all , it was a mutant snail! We then were able to be on our way to rendevouz with the Vulcans. They have been up in arms as of late. The Federation has voted not to add cosmetic surgery to our HMO's and they were all clamering for new noses. We finally calmed them down with gift certificates to Mc Donald's. I sure miss my wife, that one Vulcan chick looked pretty hot... Wait! I have no wife! Do'h, another opportunity for romance foiled! (again)
 

We have a stop on Planet Earth scheduled for tomorrow. Perhaps there I could find romance. I fell in love there with a lovley blonde blue eyed beauty. At a convention one night I pulled her into a vacant bathroom and kissed her passionately.I was unpleasantly shocked when my love walked in on me and the blonde blue eyed hottie I was kissing. She would not beleive me. I tried to explain that I was confused , they all look alike, the women, all look the same, as they have added Cosmetic Surgery to their HMO's. It is hard to tell one from the other, she did not beleive me, she left me. I am now alone in outer space. I wonder if the Venetians have added cosmetic surgery to their HMO's? Perhaps, if I am lucky, and I am lucky, I shall find my true love there.... They all look alike on earth now

Author's Note

silly .. oh, he said, 'Don't use pink text again.. final warning'...
oh and this is a restoration ...

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

LMAO Chloe!!!! Did you fall asleep with the TV on or something? This was interesting to say the least and yes you have a typo with "believe," but so what. Pink type at this hour of the morning. Lord only knows what I'll be dreaming tonight after this. But if William Shatner is in my dreams, its all your fault.

LOL

An interesting trip through your imagination my dear. :)

[Phil & Bren's Colla..]

So hilarious!!! I love William Shatner and you have done an excellent job writing this piece. I am glad you were able to restore it.

[Reinaldo Gotierrez]

Thats some good s**t, hilarious!

[Kevin R Schmidt]

Just the mention of William Shatner's name makes me think of Captain Kirk. As I read this, I heard his voice the entire time, along with the visual of him sitting in his captain's chair on the deck of the starship. Nice use of iconic images that made this so much fun (HMO, McDonald's, and a television icon). It was a fun read that gave me a good laugh ... lol

[Dianna Ulmo]

uhhhhhh.....I am scared. Kirk...I hate kirk...and why did they throw salt before they knew it was a slug....im sad and confused.

[Tempest]

That's really funny. A great light hearted read.. I laughed out loud. :p

[Conrad Wrobel]

AGGH HE's IN MY HEAD TOO!!!
Lol, I read this with intermediating pauses in the sentence and the overwhelming gestures and airy undertone. If only you ended it with KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNN!!!
Loved it, it was truly in the spirit of Shatner, and i think you used pink type because of the well known fact: TOUGH GUYS WEAR PINK! And Shatner is the toughest of them all!
Cheers! XD
Conrad Wrobel

[James Mayfield]

What did you eat before coming up with this one? It brought a much needed smile. I keep seeing him reading this with his toupee falling off. Thanks for the laugh.

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

But, did you have the stacatto sentences and hand waving too?

It is funny what sparks a creative thought. William Shatner, aka Captain Kirk, was/is a TV icon. It was a fun bit of silliness. Thanks!

Cheers!
Doc.

[Kitty Cat]

LOL... this is really cute, and quite silly, but as writers we need to have fun sometimes and forget about all the rules of writing and just let some kinda cheesy stuff come out =)

[Teressa Heafner]

Well, it's very interesting. A little confusing and definitely funny. Overall, I liked it.