Cotton Heart

A girl with a cotton - heart
soft as a favorite tee
to soften the blow should he fall
white as the first snowfall
pure, true
good
to help in his darkest hours
she is who he is looking for


A girl from the South lands
voice as thick as molasses
dripping sweetness
soft
yet sturdy
to speak for him when he cannot

I have looked down the alleyways
behind every lamp post
the Salvation Army , she may have enlisted
this girl with a cotton- heart

I look and look but she is elusive
she is like a chameleon
blends into surroundings
if..
if she even exists
this girl
with a cotton- heart

I'll continue my quest
because he deserves this
his life has been dark
painful and wrought with woes
and he is looking for a girl with a cotton- heart
soft yet sturdy
the girl with the cotton-heart

Author's Note

written for a friend

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

This is really lovely Chloe. It reads like a lovely fable of this girl with the cotton heart. I really like how you repeated that line throughout. I did spot some typos - little itty bitty ones - but besides that this was really an enjoyable poem to read.

[Michael X]

i am a fan of your writing, especially your ability to accentuate thoughts, its something so rare, and shows your poetical soul, and that aspect alone is so powerful your writing eclispes the page it is written on, in saying sometimes words arent enough to describe the wonderful nature of your talent to express the heart, i loved the way you identifed key details, this poem speaks of love eternal as well as the yearning contemplation that occures when the mind and heart collide, beautifully inspired chloe

[ThexUnspeakablexRomance]

I really enjoyed this. Nice use of imagery. It makes you feel like you know the girl. I'm impressed.

[A.r. Bazian]

he's lucky!
i like it!
the simple but powerful flow of emotions... loyalty and love (love meaning any of its forms).
and i like the imagery.
a strong poem!
i like!

keep it up!

[Phil & Bren's Colla..]

Very beautiful with a sense of mystery in it. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[[untitled]]

heheheheehe, You Rock My World Chloe..I wouldnt mind one o those, you know , how you say Cotton heart, hehehae, I love this Toooo much, while im sure you could tune it up, but Personally, I hope you leave it....One reviewer thought this person might frame this and show it proudly to his Cotton hearted girl, when she shows.....I can ASSURE you HE Will.......................You are Cotton Hearted Chloe.....

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

I think you can play with this a bit more. Who is she? Why does she have a cotton heart? Why does she need a cotton heart? What is the appeal and benefit? In this style you are using, you could easily turn it into a story that takes the reader with your words from introduction to the concept through to the conclusion of why she has one or he needs her to have one.

I like what you are doing with it. It just doesn't seem finished to me. Good concept, though. I like the word imagery and general structure.

Cheers!
Doc.
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[Gary H]

Felt this was a really good read. Had a kind of sweetness that I picture a poem by Chloe to always have. And you showed so much kindness in looking for a girl for someone else.
I don't feel there is much to constructively critisise - apart from the odd spelling mistake but that happens to us all - the only part that I feel could be improved is the last line; maybe this could be made into three :
'this girl,
with,
the cotton-heart.'
my reasoning being as this is the poems title and the cotton-heart was mentioned two lines above, this would make the ending stand out more.
Very well done and hope this makes you feel better!

[Andy J Turner]

Indeed a rare beauty to find, as suggested. The elusive lass with the cotton heart. A real beaut of a write.
It's a fable for this age....

[Tai Chi Italy]

Hi Chloe, a very interesting read here, I had to read it a couple of times to be sure of the meaning, from my point of view. It seems to me that the narrator is searching for this perfect cotton heart girl in order to be a shoulder for him, who you say, deserves this. I think a companion we can trust and rely on, is what we all want and need in life but we cannot be a crutch for another human being, it has to be balanced in order that one of them is not destroyed by the others sadness, wrought with woes' as you describe.

A cotton heart suggests to me absorbsion, in other words, she will absorb his pain in order for him to survive, but what happens to that girls heart in the end if there is no way of lightening her load? She is sodden with anothers grief imo. I note you are not feeling very well and haven't been for a while chloe! this poem may be a key to that unwellness. In my experience, feeling the way you seem to, is caused by emotional overload, flue, colds, taking to our bed is what most do, but being a mum makes that impossible for us women. You need to take care of you, first and formost in order to keep doing your very important job as mother to your child. I don't know if I have this right or not? I just wish health and happiness for you, you are so young, with so many responsibilities. As to the poems format, I liked it but think you could take out the hypen at the beginning and end in cotton heart. It catches on the flow, but maybe that is why you put it in? Take care, Tai