I am featuring this because of the severe winter weather happening in most of the USA I thought about this last night when the temperature dropped to 12 degrees~
'She forgot who she was"..
She walks the streets
no shoes adorn her feet
bare
bruised
rough, calloused
She finds solace in an
old suitcase
it holds all her belongings
she treasures them
A book of poetry
a purple silk scarf
a comb with most of it's teeth missing
like it forgot to visit the dentist
and
a picture
little girl
blonde
blue eyes with
a smile that lights the darkest rooms
She knows of dark rooms
she lives in darkness
she had a flat but her job
well, her job let her go
so the man said, "Get Out"
she tried to get another job
"we're not hiring", they always said
After a time , a long time
she forgot her name
now,
well, now
she roams the dirty boulevard
and wonders who she is
and how she got here
she wonders who the little girl is
who's smile lights the darkness in which she lives
People sneer at her
laugh, point , stare
a woman with faded blue eyes
dirty blond hair
in Salvation Army rags
they laugh
they make her feel
'uncomfortable'
they call her
the bag lady
among other names
Sometimes she cries
though she is used to it
her stomach gnaws with hunger pains
as she searches the trash and dumpsters
for a crumb
just a crumb
one crumb
The man at the bakery watches her
his heart is not hard
he calls her
she doesn't hear him
because
she doesn't want to
She knows what he wants
laughing
sneering
pointing
she walks past
Some nights she sees Angels
they call her name
"Jane"
"Jane"
"Hello Jane,
do you know
someday you will inherit
this Earth"?
Someday isn't soon enough for
sweet Jane
someday needs to be today
"Jane, don't cry",
they say
"someday"
"someday"
"someday"
"Please", she whispers
"help me find my way home"
"please", she cries
"let me be visible again"
She feels so alone
she is alone
but when she looks at the faded photograph
her heart feels lighter
the world
brighter
She coughs a lot
her house leaks
her nose runs
her stomach aches with hunger pangs
The Angels visit her every day now
"Jane, someday is now"
"Are you going to show me the way home"?
"Follow the light Jane"
She feels warm for the first time
in so long
the feeling is surreal
the light radiates throughout her
filling her,satiating the hunger
cold, loneliness
In the distance
beneath a tree of
fragrant blossoms
by a stream as clear as crystaline crystal
sets the little girl
"Mommy", she cries
"You finally came home"
I am glad I wrote this one on wordpad.. people need to be aware of this ... and not all homeless are drug addicts or alcoholics.. most are people like you and me .. it is said most Americans are one paycheck away from being homeless.. it could happen to any of us!
My Review
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this poem has a lot going, it is a narrative poem full of heeartache and hope, and has a harsh sense of realism, contemporary urban realism, lot of rhymes and off rhymes, slant rhymes, good use of dialogue, not many use dialogue, robert frost did, this incorporates lots of poetic styles.
Chloe, this is beautiful. Very beautiful. I still think journalism is calling you. IMHO you have a gifting. This pulled on my heart strings. There is hope. Always hope for the forgotten. I have a friend that runs the Rescue Mission here for that purpose and another friend that runs an organization called Joy Junction, all to help the homeless, trying to get them off the streets and get them jobs so they can get on their feet. Thank God for these and many other that are trying to make a difference. I just believe eventually, homelessness will be an exception and not a rule. Each of us must find out our part. Some support financially, some donate time at the shelters, some feed them. Thank you for a beautiful heart felt write. :) Hugs to you. You are a woman after God's own heart.
This is a very strong piece. The imagery is crystal clear, I loved the piece about the comb.
But the best thing was the pace & rythymn, it made you read faster, your heart beat faster.
Very clever writing.
Highlighting a serious problem in a way most of us don't think about. Yes, your facts are frighteningly accurate. Though some people walk away from their lives and wrap themselves around a bottle, some are victims of poor luck and need some assistance before they end up like Jane. An excellent poem, well written and sad.
Chloe, this was probably hands down one of your best pieces of work in my opinion...It was beautifully written, very powerful, clear , concise............Wonderful flow and imagery, definitely going in my favorites............Great work
Ok hold on I am quickly rubbing my arms to get rid of all the goose bumps.
Oh Chloe, this is such a heartbreaking piece, even more because this is reality for so many people in the world.
Wonderfully written, filled with amazingly accurate descriptions and images.
Loved the way the story played out in the end, sad, but still so great!
In the distance
beneath a tree of
fragrant blossoms
by a stream as clear as crystaline crystal
sets the little girl
"Mommy", she cries
"You finally came home"
This was so upsetting to read, because it is so realistic. I see it in DC all the time. I'll never understand people who can make fun of someone doing their lowest, most depressing time. Some people are so sad they welcome death, I think because they think it is a happier place to be. Maybe it is...
There are a couple minor typos in this but nothing that distracts from the intent.
People sneer at her
laugh, point , stare
a woman with faded blue eyes
dirty blonde hair
in Salvation Army rags
I just get so angry when I read those lines above! Your writing made me think about this from her perspective and you got the message across well. Most of us are very lucky to have a roof over our head. I feel guilty when I think about how upset I get about other things in my life, sometimes ignoring what I DO have that some people don't (a great family, good job, etc.).
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate?
I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..