Jack was a small boy

A Story by Patronium

Probably one of my favourite stories I've written. Its best when performed.

Jack was a small boy. He had always been small. It wasn’t for lack of eating because his mother and father were immensely huge. His father’s party trick was fitting five plum puddings in his mouth at once. His mother’s party trick was the ability to drink a whole bottle of wine without once breathing. His grandfather’s was his aptitude at apple bobbing, but that’s beside the point. The point is that Jack was small and no matter how much he ate, or how much he stretched or how hard he wished, he would never grow an inch. Each morning he measured himself up against the bedpost and his face would fall with dismay. This had been happening every morning for six years. Life can be hard for an eleven year old boy, especially when you have an embarrassing burden to carry like Jack’s. And today’s burden was particularly heavy because today was the first day of high school.

Jack lay in bed, head on pillow, pretending to be asleep. His alarm hadn’t gone off yet but he could hear his parents bustling around downstairs. He had lay face down, eyes open for a while now. The little sleep he did get in the night was ruined by a nightmare. He had dreamed of a giant with big teeth and a red nose, and huge bushy eye brows that met in the middle of its face. The giant had grinned an awful grin and picked up Jack between two massive round fingers. It brought him up to a great height above its head. Its mouth had opened. Jack saw a bulky lolling tongue and a deep dark hole beyond. The giant loosen his grip, he was falling and this was when Jack had awoken. From then on he couldn’t go back to sleep, only able to imagine all the small places he could possibly be squeezed into at the high school he was about to attend. The alarm went off. Filled with dread, he reached over and stopped its ringing. He waited a moment, gathering the strength to get up and start the day. Then, more out of habit than anything else, he stood and put his head against the wooden bedpost. Jack felt the familiar disappointment as he saw he was no more or less tall than the posts deeply etched marking. Suddenly a thought hit him. It was such a brilliant thought. How had he not thought this thought before? Eager to put his thought into action, Jack hurried downstairs.

His mother and father were, as usual, sat at the kitchen table, eating. Jack entered and in his most feeble, tiny, pathetic voice said “I’m ill.” His mother stopped eating and looked at him; his father did not. “Ooh come over here and let me have a look at you” said his mother. Jack did so. His mother felt his forehead with the back of her hand, felt his cheeks and then grabbed his chin and made him say ahh. “Ooh well nothing seems to be wrong with you darling?” “That’s because nothing is wrong with him” said his father, not looking up from a pile of bacon and sausages. “Ooh well you must just be hungry Jack, sit down and eat your breakfast love. I’ve made your favourite; eggs benedict.” At this Jack’s father looked up. Noticing his son, he squinted and briefly looked him up and down. “Mm” he said, “Eat up” and turned back to his breakfast. Looking across at the plate intended for him, stacked high and swamped in egg yolk, Jack tried one last time. “I really am ill.” “I know you are son, so eat up and get dressed.” His mother glared at his father “George! Ooh and Jack don’t distract your father, he has a big competition this Saturday.” With a huff, Jack turned and went back upstairs. “Mm” he heard his father say as he left, “I’ll eat yours then shall I?”

When Jack came downstairs, dressed in his itchy new uniform, he was startled by the surprise picture his mother took of him. He didn’t complain, the uniform had taken hours of hassle to get. Coupled with his mother’s makeshift tailoring, it was probably well worth a picture. Unfortunately nothing could be done about the oversized tie which Jack had to tuck into his trousers, or the long belt which his father had to drill new holes into. Looking like a slightly deflated balloon, Jack left the house, too depressed to say goodbye to his parents who were still sat eating in the kitchen. The walk to the yellow bus-stop was painful. That’s not because it was far away, because it wasn’t, in fact it was only across the street from his house. It was painful because Jack knew that at the yellow bus-stop would come the yellow bus. And the yellow bus would be his first collision with his new school with new people and new humiliation.

Jack waited for the bus, and waited and waited. Time seemed so slow. There was only one other person waiting at the bus stop with him. A big tall person who Jack would have guessed to be a fully grown man if not for the comic book he was reading. Jack, half-scared half-curious, spied the title of the comic. The Invisible man. Jack didn’t recognise it, he wasn’t really into comics, he wasn’t really into anything. The man-child was so deeply engrossed in the comic he had not noticed Jack, only looking away when a huge yellow bus screeched to a halt at the bus-stop. The bus! Only just realising, Jack’s heart suddenly started pounding. The doors opened and a voice shouted out from the driver’s seat. “Almost missed you there Johnathan.” Standing, comic still in hand, man-child Johnathan walked onto the bus. “Yeah” Johnathan said, not paying attention. “Got you’re 50p” said the driver, a thin man with a large head. “Yeah” said Johnathan again, putting down his fifty pence. Without knowing it Jack was now standing behind Johnathan, through the doors, on the bus that he had been dreading. Then, another realisation hit him. He had forgotten his fifty pence! Was he going to be allowed on? Would he be thrown off the bus? Was this necessarily a bad thing? Suddenly, the doors closed behind him and the bus started moving. Johnathan had sat down and carried on reading his comic and the stick-man driver was looking at the road. Had he not noticed him? Was he allowed to ride the bus? Did he not need 50p? Amazed, Jack sat down in the alcove behind the driver. ’Well that was lucky’ he thought, ‘I bet that won’t happen again’.

Nobody else got on the small yellow bus and sooner than expected, the bus started to stop. They had arrived. Jack followed man-child Johnathan off the bus, again unnoticed by the driver who was smoking a cigarette. Out of the doors, Jack gasped. The building towering before him was huge. It had many floors, with many windows, reminding Jack of an hundred eyed monster. If the windows were its eyes then its mouth would surely be the huge double doorway, like a castle portcullis. A giant’s castle. Panicking, Jack decided to stay behind Johnathan, who was walking toward the building whilst reading.

Jack found himself standing next to a sign that read First years welcome. There was a sheet of stickers on the table below it, written many names in alphabetical order. He took the sticker marked Jack Lilliput 7C and stuck it onto his blazer. Another name stood out to him Johnathan Ample 7C. Could that be man-child Johnathan? Are they in the same class? Where is he? Jack looked around and saw Johnathan up along the corridor ahead of him and turn left into a room. Not bothering to wonder why he had not taken his sticker, Jack hurried after him.

The room was full of people all in the same uniform, loudly chatting away. Jack peered in and his doubts about whether his guide was actually Jonathan Ample were quashed by the big blue sign reading 7C at the front of the room. Man-child Johnathan was sat at the back of the class, unsurprisingly still reading his comic. Jack could just sit behind him and the other attendees without having to interrupt the class. He quickly sat as an elfish woman, thin and pale with greying hair stood up at the front of the room and addressed everyone. “Welcome children. I am Mrs Stoop. I shall be your registrar for this year. Today, since it’s your first day, I shall register you individually and go through your previous school’s comments.” She walked to the first desk and started talking to a girl with blonde pig tales. Half-nervous half-bored, Jack’s mind began to wonder. He couldn’t stop picturing the giant’s ugly mono-brow face from his sleep. He remembered the tongue and the deep dark hole. As dark as Mrs Stoop’s gaudy black cardigan. Mrs Stoop! He tried to think of things he could say. How should he introduce himself? Would the comments of his previous school mention his height? Would she mention his height? Tense and unable to think of things to say, he listened in on the conversation she was currently having with man-child Johnathan. “You are Johnathan Ample?” she questioned, bent over him. “Yeah” he said, head in comic. “Well Johnny, I’ve been wanting to talk to you” she clipped “Your comments are not best pleasing. Your maths teacher says you are a problem, your biology teacher cannot make heads or tail of you, your culinary teacher believes you trifling, your textiles teachers calls you slack and tardy, your geography teacher says your progress is glacial, history has stopped battling with you and wood work wishes you would work. And quite frankly Johnny, I can already see what they mean.” She slapped his comic book down onto the desk, determined to make eye contact. “I want to hear better from you this year.” She said curtly. ‘What an awful woman’ thought Jack ‘if she doesn’t like him, what will she say to me?’ Stoop waited silently for a response. Johnathan looked up “Yeah” then back down at his open comic. Somewhat satisfied, she strolled back to the front of the class. “I believe I have seen everyone. Class dismissed.” Wait what? Class dismissed? Had she not seen him? Did she not need to see him? Jack’s heart, previously in his mouth, fell back down to his chest. ‘Does that mean I don’t have to be assessed?’ he thought ‘Wow what luck!’

The class hurried out of the room and Jack was left wondering what to do with himself. Jack decided to once again follow Johnathan and soon Jack was outside. All the other pupils were walking around and chatting. One boy with a blue hat had a football and several of them started to have a game. Jack didn’t really like football, he didn’t really see the point in it. He went and sat beside Johnathan against the wall. Johnathan didn’t notice him. He was reading a different comic this time. Ant man. Looking around, Jack’s noticed a group of girls laughing. It was the blonde pig-tails girl from his class and she was showing off to her friends a long sparkly necklace. She was absentmindedly spinning it round her arm when suddenly it flew off of her wrist, through the air and over the fence. She ran towards where it landed and desperately tried to reach through the bars. Starting to cry, she ran back into the school, probably going to find an adult to help her. Jack heard the school bell ring, signalling the end of break, and saw pretty-pig-tail’s friends make their way back into school. Without really thinking, Jack went over to the fence, and spotted the necklace on leafy ground, glittering in the sunlight. He saw a small hole underneath the fence, probably where a dog had been before and found it easy enough to squeeze through. On the other side he picked up the necklace and only then did he realise what he had done. He had gone out of bounds, in lesson time, and muddied his trousers, all on his first day of school! Did anybody see? Would they throw him out of school? Should he bother going back? Terrified of his potential fate, Jack rushed back to the hole and squeezed underneath, still holding the necklace. He looked around himself. ‘Nobody saw’ he thought, ‘Phew, that’s fortunate.’

Back inside, Jack found his previous seat. The class hadn’t started as Mrs Stoop had not yet arrived. Jack had tucked the necklace into his blazer pocket, knowing he had to give it back, but the pig tailed girl was very pretty and Jack felt strangely shy of her. Maybe he could just leave it on her desk. Fearlessly, he got up and walked toward the front. He walked past man-child Johnathan, past blue-hat footballer, past a boy with big teeth and a red nose, up to the front desk. Pig-tails wasn’t there, probably still worrying about the necklace which Jack now placed down carefully. Walking back to his chair, he sat, heart filling with pride. He scanned the room and could not tell if anyone had noticed him. Johnathan was reading a new comic. Superman. Blue-hat footballer was on his phone and the boy with big teeth and red nose was looking straight ahead. In that moment of Jack’s attention, big-teeth-red-nose reached forward and snatched the necklace from the front desk and stuffed it into his bag. In shock, Jack could only stare as the boy looked around himself, supposing no witnesses to his crime. The boy grinned an awful grin and when turned Jack could see that his eyebrows joined in the middle to form a huge bushy mono-brow. Jack froze in fear. Had anyone else noticed? Should he say something? Where was Mrs Stoop or the girl with pig tails? In awe of the situation, Jack just sat and waited, thinking of what to do. A few minutes later, Stoop walked in with a tearful blonde girl at her arm. “Why don’t you sit down girl and calm yourself. Attention class.” Stoop waited for silence. “I shall be handing out your class information sheets for the rest of the year, including which teacher you shall have and where you shall be situated. Make sure you remember their names because one does not want to start on the wrong foot now do they?” Jack was not listening. Instead he was focussing upon mono-brow-boy’s half open bag which contained the sparkly necklace. He had had a cunning plan. He was not sure it would work, but he had to try.

Watching Mrs Stoop carefully from the back of the class, Jack got down from his chair and sat under his desk. Most of the students were talking between themselves and no one paid any attention to him. Jack waited on the floor, wanting Stoop to turn her back, hence giving him the vital moment he needed to make his move. She was currently explaining something to a tall thin boy with green glasses. She finished, turned to the next desk, and Jack lurched forward. He crawled along the floor, silently yet swiftly, past man-child Johnathan's large shoes, past blue-hat’s plastic football, up to the giant feet of mono-brow-boy. Knowing he didn’t have time to hesitate, Jack slipped his hand into the boy’s bag, and felt for the necklace. Finding it easily, he took it out, making sure to leave the bag as if untouched. As stealthily as he could, Jack then reached over to pretty-pig-tail’s pink rucksack and pulled it toward him. He unzipped it, stashed the necklace inside, and re-zipped it, making as little noise as possible. Placing it back, he quickly made his way back to his seat. Feeling exhilarated, Jack moved away from mono-brow-boy’s giant feet, past blue-hat’s plastic football, but at man-child Johnathan’s large shoes something made him stop. Jack looked up. Two large green eyes stared back at him from underneath a comic book. Is he looking at him? What did he see? Why isn’t he reading his damn comic? The eyes examined him a moment longer. Without words, they returned to the comic. Scared, confused and heart-broken, Jack tried to move. He slowly returned to his seat, knowing he had completed his mission, but at what cost? ‘I must have looked so stupid’ Jack thought, ‘How unlucky.’

The rest of the day was a blur. Jack could only focus on how ridiculous he felt and dreaded the bus journey home. He’d spent Mrs Pye’s mathematics lesson staring blankly at a puzzle on the board and all of Miss Scribble’s art lesson doodling mono-brows on a piece of paper. Sooner than expected the day was over. Jack waited outside of school for the yellow bus to arrive. He didn’t want to make contact with man-child Johnathan but equally he didn’t want to spend the night sleeping on a park bench. The yellow bus arrived. The driver got out and started smoking, leaving the doors open. Jack got on without being noticed and sat in his little alcove as before, trying to make himself as discreet as possible. He sat, unmoving, until voices came from outside. “Alright Johnathan, have a good first day?” “Yeah” came Johnathan’s usual tone. Jack’s heart started pounding. The bus weighed down as both man-child Johnathan and stick-man driver got on. Johnathan walked past Jack. At first it seemed he had not noticed him, and Jack let out a sigh of relief. But Johnathan stopped. He turned toward Jack. He spoke, “I saw what you did. It was… heroic” What did he say? Is he joking? Is he serious? He spoke again, “I saw you get that girls necklace, I saw you put it on her desk and then when Tom took it I saw you put it in her bag” Who was Tom? Was Tom the mono-brow boy? Wait, he had seen all that? Johnathan carried on, “You were like one of the superheroes from my comics. What’s your name?” “Jack” said Jack without thinking. It was the first words he had said to anyone all day. “The adventures of Jack with muddy trousers.” said Johnathan, and he laughed. Jack laughed too. Johnathan sat next to him all the way home. ‘Jack with the muddy trousers’ he thought ‘what a great first day’.

The end.