Swept Away

On the Wings of a Song...

Swept away by your Charms...  

There were no Alarms... only Chapel Bells 

on the Mountain Top where Eagles nest... 

Our Feathers touched when Leonard Cohen sang 

Hallelujah... 

Cedar Waxwings came to Pray as we Lay 

on Morning Sunbeams... 

Their Repertoire was a high, thin "Bzeee" and a 

sighing Whistle... 

as we made Love among the thistle with 

Lavender down... 

A Crown of Mist surrounded the Church Steeple 

in the Valley and Whippoorwills brought 

peaceful Music to the  Choir and Parishioners... 

Amen....  

Reviews

[CD Campbell]

Oh, that's wonderful imagery! If only it could be like that forever and never get dull. Do you think that maybe what heaven could be like? To have that forever feeling of romance and never tire of it? It's a nice thought. Enjoyed this immensely. CD

[Patricia Wedel]

Yes, CD.... we even have a bit of Heaven on Earth from time to time. I believe when we leave this Earth, our Spirit will live on. tenderly, Pat

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

My ears are ringing due to the bells you've written of so vividly. I admire poems about weddings. I've written some myself. Such themes are about more than love, and it's rare nowadays, in written and acted, which makes coming across your fine poetry that much more enjoyable. tyfs

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Cyprian... I appreciate your lovely Review. I do enjoy using Birds in my Metaphors... and love poems...
I really admire the strength and creativity of our feathered friends. They fly around our large two-story Home because I put Feeders about and they bring their fledglings to our Feeding Deck and it is delightful to see the young birds enjoy the Seeds. Yes, the above Poet did think of a Wedding when I mentioned Chapel Bells. We all have different Styles of Writing. I prefer to be Cheerful and positive ... hoping to give other readers Courage to Carry on as our World is very unpredictable and politics add to the Confusion. Wishing you Peaceful Summer Days. Pat

[Lisasview]

Good morning Pat,
Oh how I love the words your wrote in your delightful poem…
Lisa, morning in Spain

[Patricia Wedel]

Dearest Lisa… it is a pleasure to know that you read my words as the Sun was rising in Spain. Wishing you a ❤️ lovely day. tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome dearest Pat... Sun still up at 7:30 pm

[Patricia Wedel]

I knew I should be checking the Time Zones in Spain...
It is now around Midnight in Virginia, USA... a quiet time to read WC poetry... Today was Thursday June 2, 2022... softly... Pat

[Lisasview]

Wow, midnight.. I am never up that late...
Today I was up at 6:30am
Waiting for Bob to get up and make me a Cappuccino, while I respond to reviews, etc.
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Lisa... it is now almost one am... my sleep patterns are unpredictable. I will find a pattern eventually. Roger has been going to Mary Washington Wound Care every Monday for his closed down Fistula in his Right Arm. And every Wednesday and Friday, a Nurse comes to our Home to Dress the Would. A Vacuum was used for two weeks and that was a Bother. Finally the Surgeon put in a new Fistula in his left Arm and it needs to Mature. Roger has a Catheter in his Neck In the meantime for Dialysis every Tues., Thurs., and Saturday... so we have been on a Tread-Wheel. Finally the Wound on his right arm is healed... Roger has a breathing problem and has Diabetes also.
We will get back to a sleep schedule soon. If only our President and other Democrats were not trying to destroy our Country and our History. They have caused some real problems in so many ways. We will keep our Faith and Press on. Fortunately, Roger and myself do not give into Depression very easily. Wishing you well. It does help to Read Poetry. gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I cannot even begin to write like this...
I bow to you Pat...with a big Amen.
Your love poems transcend what has written before about the topic.
and they come from deep within your giving heart.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Jacob... you are like the Brother I never had.
I can imagine it would be a blessing to share our feelings when the World is confused. Yes, "Swept away" is an old adage. Perhaps if the readers climbed a mountain, and were almost "swept away" by the Beauty of the View-- they might be also "swept away by a Lovers Charms. You are like the Angel played by John Travolta in the Movie "Michael". And I would be Andi MacDowell trying to write Poetry. Love the ending with Feathers falling. gently, Pat

[JayG]

I think a lot of the story in this didn't make the page. So while it's meaningful to you, who have both context and intent guiding you, for the reader? Note the confusion of the last person to comment.

That's one reason why editing from the chair of the reader is a good idea. Another is to have the computer read it to you.

Another thing that hit me was that you're talking to the reader, about things meaningful to you, as if just by hearing them the reader will react as you would. But to a reader, when you say, "Swept away by your Charms," what can this mean? Someone we know nothing about was in an unknown way, "Swept away," in an unknown situation, by someone or something's unspecified charms,

Remember, this line also works if the next line speaks of a horse, a hamster, a new compute game, or... You know where it's going so for you it has emotional content, but does the reader?

My point is, instead of talking to the reader about you, make the words meaningful to the reader on their terms. As E. L. Doctorow put it, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” So instead saying that a person has charm, make him/her charm the reader. Focus on making them care, not know. Involve them. It's a lot harder, o course, but well worth the effort.

One great resource is Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. For unknown reasons, it's free to download here:
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Patricia Wedel]

dear JayG... You could be the Director of a Puppet Show... pulling the Strings and being the Voice of each Character. Being a Poet is no easy Task. Each Poet has his or her Style. I rarely get a Critique; but I always read and consider the Advice. I think we all can improve as time goes by; however, we can be unique
as I am certain you must be. Thanks for reading. Be blessed dear Poet. gently, Pat

[JayG]

• dear JayG... You could be the Director of a Puppet Show... pulling the Strings and being the Voice of each Character. Being a Poet is no easy Task.

You do passive-aggressive well.

[Aura]

The first thing I thought of was a wedding. Chapel bells, beung swept away by someones charm, mist surrounding the churche steeple. When i read your review then i realized you werre talking about birds... i believe it was? Feathered poets, birds. Nonetheless, i enjoyed reading this even though my interpretation was a bit different!

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Aura... I love the Idea of a "Poetic License" to present Poetry in your own Style. I think of my lines being Metaphors ... I truly understand how Steeple Bells would remind you a Wedding. I often write about Birds and their having a Voice in their own Tweeting. I admire Birds for their Strength and endurance in all types of Weather. It gives me Courage to Carry On. I appreciate your Review and sharing your feelings. tenderly, Pat

[Patricia Wedel]

Dedicated to all our Feathered Poets and Readers around the World that Nestle on the Mountain Tops and Valleys below... May there be Peace and Reverie when Lavender Skies Smile. gently, Pat the Author...