Who am I? **A beginner's guide to understanding the complicated failure that is me :)**

Here is my first entry... if you for some odd reason care, then check out this 'thing'. Click and see, you might relate (to me) in some way :)

Who am I but a lost wanderer in the world. I occupy the space of someone, someone who could add much more to the world than I ever will. But instead I was born. Why, I wonder, is there a purpose to my existence? Will I be a national hero or a loving wife? I smile a lot, sometimes I even believe myself to be perfectly happy. That is something that I thank the world for; I seem to be internally happy, even in the midst of chaos. I am a wreck, and I know that nobody will love me. At least not for a long time. I am insecure and for that I damn the world. Who am i? I wonder if I am beautiful, but beauty is tied to perception. I find inner beauty to overwrite your appearance. But i feel rotten inside, does that then make me wretched? What am I? I am not one thing but many. I am from a s**t, to a weirdo, to a b***h, to a loser. I am many things; I like to pretend that I am beautiful, smart, and worthy. I like to think that but i sometimes don't. I want to be worthy, worthy of somebody's love. Worthy of feeling loved. My mind is so vast that it becomes a burden to myself. I can dream complicated ideas and generate impressive arguments. By the age of 10 I was placed in the sixth grade. Just as my mind becomes a burden for my body, my body becomes a burden for my mind. My head acts in ways that are not fitting for my age. By the age of 14 I already want to discuss tactics with politicians and help those who are less fortunate than me. By the age of 14 I feel 19, but my body proves otherwise. My body a physical impediment that restricts me from traveling across the world. My mind has an impressive skill, it takes over my heart. And I've been surviving my life with my head overwriting my heart. With my love being my cat and my friend becoming my sister, I am seen as 'sad'. But I sort of want to confront the world, and tell them that I am, overall, content. The fact is that my solitude serves me in the growing of my mind but deteriorates my heart. It is unfortunate that the world is against me. Instead of floating, the water forcibly sinks me. Instead of flying, I fall flat on my face. What is wrong with the universe that it is regretful of my existence? But I've come to terms with it, because I am regretful too. And the worst part is that even though I have an extensive mind, my heart just happens to be double as large. And my heart has been stripped of its innocence and has been pushed towards loneliness. So I ask again, who am i? I am but a broken heart away from my inner disintegration. What am I? I am merely a body that has been possessed by the wrong soul. By a soul that searches to escape my body to arrive at heaven's gates. I am both a strong and a weak person. But most of all I am flaw-full. I am the definition of both a failure and a success. I am on the verge of life and death. I am but a lost wanderer, searching for a light to guide me, for I am surrounded by a perpetual darkness. 

Author's Note

Hi reviewers!!!, is there even a reviewer? NO? weeelll then... im talking to myself aren't I? ooookkkkkaaaayyyy :P
*walks away slowly to avoid embarrasment*