I lost my girlfriend

A short piece I'm working on. Any help would be great. Does it work? How about the ending? satisfying?

    

I Lost My Girlfriend

by

SM Watson

 

 

CHARACTER

           

A

B

C

D

 

 

 

A  Excuse me, have you seen a girl, err… twenties, blond hair, very pretty looking…

B  No, sorry /mate.

A  --Dressed in jeans and a black vest? Sunglasses on her head?

B  Don’t think so.

A  Pink All Saints bag in her hand?

B  I really don’t think I have. Like I said, sorry.

A  You sure?

B  Yeah.

A  Here, take a look at this. I got a picture.

B  No, mate. Not her.

A  Alright err… Thanks. Umm… S**t…S**t…

B  Are you okay?

A  No. I lost my girlfriend.

B  Well, I’m sure she hasn’t gone far. Can’t you call her?

A  My phone’s out of battery.

B  You can use mine, do you know her number?

A  No.

B  Well, I’m sure you’ll find her. Just keep looking.

A  No, you don’t understand. It took me ages to find her. I’ll be dead by the time I find another one. She was perfect and I love her so much. Once you find the one you’ve got to keep hold of her. Do you understand?

B  Yeah, I do.

A  No, you don’t.

B  Yeah, I do. I lost my girlfriend about five years ago. Tore me right up. Never found one like her since.  I’ve been there. So I do understand.

A  You do?

B  Yeah. Course. I’ll tell you what, I’ll help you look for her.

A  You will?

B  Sure.

A  Thank you so much.

B  That’s alright, mate.

A  And you think we’ll find her?

B  She’s gotta turn up. Come on, let’s have a look around.

A  Excuse me, have you seen a pretty girl with blonde hair and a pink All Saints bag around here? You’re sure? Well, okay, I was just asking. Sorry…

B  Excuse me, have you seen this man’s girlfriend? Blonde, sunglasses … How tall? Hey, how tall is she?

A  About five two.

B  Really? No wonder you lost her. Okay, five two? That kind of height. No? Okay, thanks.

A  Excuse me, have you seen my girlfriend? She’s Blonde and about five two, height wise? Got a bag… just like yours?

C  Nah, sorry. Excuse/ me…

A  --Where did you get that bag?

C  I bought it.

A  Bought it? It’s a pink bag from a girl’s store. Why would you do that?

C  It’s for my wife.

A  What’s her name?

C  I’m not telling you that.

A  What’s in that bag?

C  None of your business.

A  Are you sure it’s yours?

C  Positive.

A  My girlfriend’s looked exactly like that, you know?

 

C  Well, it is a chain so it’s pretty common.

A  I guess.

C  I really need to get--

A  --But it can’t be a coincidence. Have you taken my girlfriend?

C  What?

A  You heard me. Have you taken my girlfriend?

C  No, of course not. I don’t know your girlfriend.

A  I want you to look me in the eye when you answer and tell me you haven’t taken my girlfriend.

C  I have not taken your girlfriend.

A  Hmmm…

B  What’s up? Does this guy know where she is?

A  I don’t know. But he’s got her bag.

C  It’s just a similar bag.

B  Serious?

A  Yeah, it’s the exact same one.

C  There’s hundreds of them out there.

B  Oh yeah, so it is.

C  This is ludicrous.

B  Have you asked him? You should ask him. Ask him where she is.

A  I have.

C  He has. And I said I bought this for my wife. You guys seriously need to get your heads sorted, get a hobby, find a girlfriend, whatever.

A  I am trying to find my girlfriend. That’s exactly what I’m doing now. So where is she?

C  I don’t know.

B  The fact that you’ve got that bag says otherwise.

C  No it doesn’t.

A  Look at his face when he says that. Look how his face curves in a little smile every time he talks.

B  Oh yeah. That is weird.

C  That’s just the way my face sits.

B  I wouldn’t trust that.

A  No. Definitely a sign of him lying.

B  Oh, I’ve heard of people like him. Can’t get their own girlfriends so they steal other peoples.

C  What?

B  Why can’t you get your own girlfriend?

C  I have-- I mean I’ve got a wife and two kids.

B  So you say…

C  I’m actually meeting them here but you’ve distracted me.

A  I’m going to ask you one more time where is she?

C  I’m not going to entertain this any-- Hey. Take your hand off me.

A  No, look at me when you--Ah!

C  You deserved that.

A  Ouch, that hurt.

B  Why did you do that?

C  You deserved it. You can’t just run around the street accusing innocent people of stealing your girlfriend, when it’s you that lost her in the first place. Now I want you both leave me alone. Take your search anywhere else. I’m trying to wait for my family.

B  You need counselling mate.

C  Screw you.

B  Are you okay?

A  No, that really hurt.

B  I’m sorry. He’s not a very nice man. You’re not a very nice man.

C  Shut up.

A  Are you sure you haven’t taken my girlfriend?

C  For god sake, yes. I’m very very sure. Positive. Now I’m not going to say another word to either of you.

A  You know what, I kind of believe him. I don’t think he knows where Sarah is?

B  Who’s that?

A  My girlfriend.

B  Oh right. Yeah, me too.

C  Excuse me.

B  That’s two words?

C  Yes.

A  I don’t know if I want to talk to him anymore. He was so mean. You do it.

B  Okay. What?

C  Did you happen to see a woman and two children standing around here as we were talking?

B  No.

C  You’re sure.

B  Not really.

C  What do you mean?

B  Well I was so wrapped up in our argument…

C  Me too. The woman’s got long brown hair, freckles.

B  Sorry.

C  Two kids, four and five, wearing red spotted hoodies.

B   Nah, haven’t seen them.

C  How about you?

A  I don’t want to talk to him.

B  Go on.

A  Okay. No, I haven’t.

C  Oh God.

B  Have you--

C  --Yes.

A  See, doesn’t feel good, does it?

C  You fuckers distracted me. This would have never happened if you hadn’t started speaking to me.

B  Ouch

A  Ouch.

C  Excuse me have you seen… How about you, a woman and two children about this height.  Spotting jumpers… What about you? Hello. Can you listen? This is an emergency. Oh god. Emily. Laura. Timothy. Please, can you hear me?

B  They can’t hear you.

C  I…

B  Once they’re gone that’s it. You lost them.

C  Leave me alone.

B  They’re gone. Like his Mrs.

A  Mine? But you said--

B  I told you, I lost my girlfriend a five years ago. Who do you think I’m with now? No one. Like I said, I never found anyone like her again. Once they’re gone they’re gone.

A  Then why did you help me? Why did you say all that stuff?

B  It’s not nice losing your girlfriend. I didn’t have anyone there to help me.

A  So you lied.

B  I wasn’t lying. There’s a chance we still might find them. But we’ve got to work together.

C  With you?

B  The real truth is you were both ill prepared.

A  Ill prepared?

B  I was too. That’s why I lost mine too all those years ago.

C  What do you mean?

B  Having a girlfriend’s a major responsibility. It takes time and effort. You need to take the proper precautions to ensure she won’t go missing.

A  Like?

B  Rule number one, never let them out of your sight.

A  What? That’s crazy.

B  That’s what I thought too. But if you don’t you’re setting yourself up for loss.

C  Is that even feasible?

B  If you love them and you want it to work then it is. You’ve got to do it.

A  I don’t know.

B  My friend even made his obedient to his call.

A  What?

B  They’re never apart.

C  That’s a bit weird.

B  As soon as he calls she’s right there, straight away, at my heel, just like that. That’s taking precautions.

A  I don’t want do that, ever.

B  Why not?

A  Because it’s… I mean… you can’t… that’s mad.

C  It’s crazy.

B  You’ll learn. It’s not easy at first, but it is true.

A  She’s not a pet.

B  They’re pretty close though, aren’t they?

A  No.

C  No. That’s a horrible thing to say.

A  I don’t believe this.

B  That’s what I said.

A  This is a nightmare.

B  Said that too.

A  Sarah. Sarah. Please. Where are you?

B  Calling isn’t going to help you. Remember she’s not trained. How’s she going to know how to respond?

A  Shut up.

B  Okay, easy there. Just trying to help.

A  I said shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up.

C  Don’t cry.

A  Why?

C  Because you’re going to make me cry.

B  Guys, it will be fine. Honestly.

A  Get off me.

B  We can all look together. No matter how long it takes.

D  Alex. There you are.

A  Sarah? Oh god babe. It’s so good to see you.

D  Where have you been? I was looking all over.

A  I was /just …

D  --You really shouldn’t wander off. That’s how I lose you.

A  But I/ didn’t …

D  --Come on. We’re going to be late.

C  Wait a minute. Did you happen to see a family? A woman with freckles. Two kids with spotted red hoodies?

D  What? You mean them over there?

C  Oh my God. Thank you, thank you.

D  Who’s your new friends?

A  They’re not my friends.

B  Can I ask you something?

A  No.

B  I lost my girlfriend some time ago. 

A  Stop talking to her.

B  She’s a redhead girl.

A  Hey, I want you to step back.

D  Alex, what are you doing?

A  You don’t understand he’s/ really…

D  --Relax, Jesus. Sorry, what were you saying?

B  She’s tall.

D  Err…

B  Thin.

D  Err...

B  Name’s Lisa.

D  No. I haven’t.

B  Oh…

D  I hope you find her.

B  Thanks. Hey, would you mind giving me a hand looking for her?

A  No way.

D  Sorry, we’ve really late for something.  

B  Oh, okay…

D  Can I give you a bit of advice?

B  Sure.

D  If she really loves you she’ll come find you. Yeah?

B  I guess…

D  Come on Alex.