A Moment in Time

An Anti Bellum story

From the diary of

Lieutenant Robert* Silvestre Lesch; Foregett’s Louisiana Battery

Diary entry---26 October 1860 1600 hours

We are well aware that the storm clouds are gathering

and have been acting and training accordingly.

We will be ready if and when the Yankees decide to invade Dixie’s sacred soil.

Tomorrow night M. Descartes is holding a ball in honor of

Captain Foregett and the whole of Avoyelles Parish

will attend. Myself included, as an officer,

a gentleman, and recent graduate of the Jefferson Military Academy.

Diary entry---- October 26^th , 1860 of Mademoiselle Madeleine Deshotel called La Lune Etoile

[4:00 pm]

Oh, why do men always have to fight amongst themselves?

This war, Le guerre that is coming is---Well, Madeleine you have to admit,

the soldiers are a handsome lot. And all these balls in honor of so and so.

They are exciting no. and the new gowns from Paris--- Magnifique!

Sacre Bleu!, what shall I wear tomorrow? M. Descartes balls are always so lavish.

Let us see the theme tomorrow night is, how appropriate, Automne! **

Ah, the new gown just arrived last week, automne d’or with the leaves

embroidered in rouge, roussir, jaune, oui that very one and a brown veil !

Diary entry 26 October 1860 of Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch 1630 hours

Oui, merci mon ami, the red piping contrasts well

with the butter-nut yellow of the coat, perfect for a ball…

The theme is automne--- $5.00 did you say?

How much more for you to attach it?--- $1.00 more?

Well the piping’s attached the uniform pressed and ready for tonight!

Now to see about Ariel my grey mare, Pompey should have her groomed

ready and saddled by this evening, ready to run like the wind she is.

Always eager for a fierce gallop over the fields. Tonight though I shall hold her to a trot.

Diary entry --- Madeleine Deshotel [5:45 Pm] October 26^th

Ma’ mere*** says if I don’t eat this salad I shan’t be going to the ball tomorrow!

I think gentlemen like to see a girl with a healthy appetite. After all, they are all asking

to get me some of this, a little of that--- I wonder if Robert will be there? He’s so handsome brunette hair, almost blond, and his eyes, green- sometimes gray but deep brown when he’s at ease.

And oh shoulders so broad, powerful, when we waltz I want him to hold me forever!

We do not step, no, we glide over the floor as if our feet had wings, his lips so sensuous

begging to be kissed, but I do not dare, not on the dance floor, perhaps tonight when we walk in the garden, beneath the magnolias---- perhaps, we shall see. “Yes Ma’mere, I’m eating the salad!”

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch ) 1745 hours 27 October 1860

Oh, what an entrance she made! La Lune-Etoile, sweeping down from the balcony where the girls and ladies had gone to place their wraps, sweeping down the spiral staircase that yellow gown shimmering in chandelier light and her train gorgeous, a light sandy brown with leaves of gold cascading from her shoulders to ground level and her hair that rich auburn chestnut hair glimmering softly in sconce light.

The shadowed patches showing raven dark. her eye, that wonderful dark oval orb showing demurely from behind her oriental fan---- My God! What a woman!

I saw Rene my cousin, watching her as she glided, as she floated down the stairs, him stroking his mustache , with that all too familiar gleam in his eye. He looks at a woman as one would look at a horse.

Something to be tamed, ridden hard and put away wet! Livestock that’s what they are to him, chattel…

I like him, he’s a brute to be sure, but an excellent man in a fight, I would want no other beside me in battle.

* Robert---- French pronunciation Ro- bear

**Automne (Cajun French)= Autumn

*** Ma, Mere = Mother or Grandmother

　

Diary entry---- Madeleine Deshotel 5:48 pm October 27th 1860

Where is he? Oh heavens there’s his cousin Rene, leering at me stroking that ugly mustache.

Oh, where is Robert? He must be here, he has to be here That Rene is a bold one, the way he looks at me, one would think he’s seen me without my chemise! Burrrr what a disgusting thought!. Just as I was lifting my fan to cover my face, I spotted him! He was hurrying toward the stairs, I lifted the fan leaving one eye uncovered-----

He was there, just two steps ahead of his cousin his hat swept the floor just in front of my feet as I set foot on the floor, his gold-brown hair was tousled as his hat swept down and left, I kept the fan up as he reached for my wrist, pulling me after him, I saw that mischievous twinkle in his eye as he glanced at his cousin, daring him to say or do something If they had been four years younger I believe I would have been the object of a brawl. Once on the dance floor, he swept me in his arms and---- well dear diary I know of no words adequate enough to describe the wonder of what I felt!

Diary entry Robert Silvestre Lesch 0400 hours 27 October 1860

I cannot sleep therefore I shall write while it is still fresh in my mind.

We danced that first waltz, then the cotillion favorites, The Virginia Reel an Irish dance that left us breathless, after which I suggested a stroll in the garden “To catch our breath and calm our heats,”

The air outside wasn’t really cold, though it had a “nip” in it, the moon was out, almost full This close to Hallowe’en it was huge and orange, a perfect harvest moon, “and” I thought “ the perfect moon under which to steal a kiss or two!”

After walking a ways down M. Descartes shelled garden path we came upon a bench, I suggested we sit and rest awhile but La Lune Etoile --- Madeleine demurred so we slowly continued down to the end of the path where it came to a halt before the sugar cane fields. The air was sweet with a heavy syrupy odor, not unpleasant but definitely overpowering, I looked into Madeleine’s eyes dark now, darker than when in the candlelight on the dance floor, I cupped her chin ,lifted her face, so close we were that our breaths became one. She turned away, the moonlight lighted her cheek ,gold in color as my lips brushed it. “let us return Robert”, she said.

Reluctantly I agreed, and took her hand in mine. As we strolled back toward M. Descartes modestly imposing Great house, the moon, that great orange glow filling the night sky seemed to keep pace with us.

At last standing at the foot of the gallery in the shadow of a lone china ball tree Madeleine lifted her face and kissed me on the lips, a tiny moment in time no longer than it takes to breathe. She then turned and scurried swiftly up the steps to the gallery and just as quickly vanished behind the large French doors that opened onto the gallery.

Amazed, I stood there unable to move--- “Why you little coquette“--- I smiled and hurried up the steps.

In the great hall, she was nowhere to be seen I looked everywhere but she seemed to have disappeared entirely . I shrugged and hurried over the refreshment stand. For a final toddy before the midnight hour chimed and we had to leave. Our “liberty” was to end at 1:00 AM, which left us a lone hour to get back to the camp at Marksville and from ten miles out in the gloom of night even with an almost most full moon lighting the way it would a silent and slow journey.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel 4:00 am October 27^th 1860

I cannot sleep, The ball was so exciting, We danced and danced and danced. Dear Diary

I was floating, oui, literally floating on a cloud! Every time some other gal’lant tried to lead me on the dance floor Robert would rush up and say, “demoiselle La Lune,-Etoile check your carte d’ danse s’il vous plait I believe I have this dance, he would wink and I would pretend to check my card and then apologize to the would be swain and take Robert’s arm onto the dance floor.

After one particularly strenuous reel Robert suggested we walk in the garden to “cool off” I believe is the way he put it. Of course, I agreed and we started down the shelled walk, we came upon a bench and he suggested we sit and rest a spell--- of course I declined and we continued down to the end of the lane.

He tried to steal a kiss. But I turned my cheek and his lips brushed it instead. I shivered and almost, almost turned my face to his. Instead, I said, “ we best return to the house, Robert, they may miss us.” I confess however that when we reached the foot of the gallery, I quickly kissed him on the lips and ran back into the house of M. Descartes.

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch 0600 hours 27 October 1860

After the ball was over, I returned home talking to Ariel as we rode back to the camp in Marksville

“Ariel“, I said “I have known La Lune Etoile, Madeleine, since we were children although I am three years her senior, She’s young, just nineteen,

But I am afraid she has taken your place in my heart ole girl. You and I will always be friends nay, more than friends. And though you can give her a run when it comes to big, beautiful brown eyes, your poor, pointy equine face leaves much to be desired, and while you are as graceful as a dancer when it comes to racing thunderously over a field, I fear La Lune Etoile far outdoes you on the dance floor she is so graceful it’s like---like holding springtime in your arms when dancing with her.

She is so light on her feet I would swear I am dancing with your namesake when I dance with her.

Yes, Ariel you are a good companion, one hell of a horse and a champion in your own right, but alas, ole girl, boys and philly’s have a way of growing up and needing something or someone else to love them. I saw you eyeing that stallion of M. Deshotel’s the other day over by the fence where our land joins.

That’s why I rode Gemini that day, didn’t want to disturb your thoughts. M. Deshotel agreed to your “assignation” with his stud. So now, you’re happy eh? Anyway, I plan to marry that girl, if she’ll have me, after the war of course.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel 10:00 am October 27^th 1860

I fell asleep, how I don’t know, but I’m rested now and have had a chance to think. And I think Robert would be the ideal husband for me, We have known each other since we were children, having grown up together so to speak, why we’re practically related. Thank Le Bon Dieu we are not! At first I did not think that arranged marriages were fair. In fact I still do not, however in some cases they are right. I believe mine and Robert’s falls into the latter category. I know his likes, dislikes as well as he knows mine, thus we need not waste months learning each other. He is so handsome, so gentle, I can tell by the way he handles his horses. Oui, but I am not a horse!

God help me though I do have a temper! Still he is the epitome of gentleness and gentlemanliness. I have no apprehensions when with him. Oui, I would marry him tomorrow if that were the date set. War or no war!

Diary entry Lt. Robert. Silvestre Lesch Mid day 28 October 1860.

What a night! I could hardly sleep. I sure am glad today we have an off day . Tomorrow we start a rigorous training regimen , all the boys are hoping the war starts soon, to them yesterday would not have been too soon. The martial spirit is alive and well in Avoyelles. If only they realized that we are not going on a picnic when this thing starts, if it starts, I believe we are going to be in for a long, bitter civil war and that a lot of chairs that are filled today will become empty. Secession has been a hotly debated topic here in Louisiana and in every other state south of the Mason -Dixon Line I suppose that it will happen eventually. Then it will be The United States’ move. I pray the Yankees will just let us go, but alas, that seems unlikely because there are hot heads up north also. Well if it comes, it comes, I only hope that it is the Yankees that fire the first volley!

But on to better, more pleasant thoughts, thoughts of La Lune-Etoile, Madeleine. The woman I am going to marry.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel evening October 28^th 7:47 PM

Robert did not visit today. I am angry with him for that! Perhaps he has a good excuse, I hope so for his sake, It is not that I will not forgive him, of course I will, still Diary he could have sent a message ---- he did not and that is what angers me and after I “encouraged” him so!

Wait--- what is that? Hoof beats? Oui, hoof beats and they are continuing, fading away Pah! Now I am angry and disappointed. Oh, well---- Oh Ma’mere is calling, time for the evening rosary.

Well until later Diary (I have to give you a name, Diary is so impersonal----)

On Friday November 1(All Saint’s Day) the family went, as we always do the whitewash the tombs

Of our departed relatives of course this is as all know a day not of sorrow and weeping but a family day of celebration we and others bring picnic lunches and spend the day at the cemetery, replacing the dead flowers placed on the graves throughout the year with fresh cut one from home gardens, trimming the grass around the tombs and graves, pulling the weeds washing the tombs with lye soap, then lime and water. We talk among ourselves and with other families recalling the lives of those who have passed, how good or bad they were, smiling at fond memories, joking, laughing. praying for the souls of our departed.

It is a peaceful and gentle day. One meant to build fond memories of those we love and have loved.

I do fear, however that in the future, the very near future, there may be many more burials and bitter tears shed over members of our own generation. We will of course pray that no war disturb the peace we now enjoy but to all here it seems a forlorn hope!

Diary entry Lt Robert Silvestre Lesch evening 5 November 1860 1900 hours

We have been on maneuvers for a week and have finally returned to camp, Lord, but I am exhausted. All I want to do is sleep for at least a day and a half.

The boys of the battery did well at least no one was seriously hurt--- come to think of it the only close call we had was when cannon # 3 jumped it’s carriage and almost took the leg of the #2 man (rammer-sponger) That was really the only bit of excitement we had. After that bit of drama, we had to place the 1200 lb. tube back onto the carriage with the use of ropes and pulleys. If we had been in actual battle, that gun would have been out of service and the survivors (if any) would have had either to leave the field of battle or replace slain servers of other artillery pieces. The latter would have been the most likely action.

It was not an easy task loading and unloading the field pieces form their various wagon beds and one piece actually slid down the ramp with very little restraining it if it had not been for the wench it would have gotten loose and probably maimed some of the boys. Luckily, the rope held and stopped the field piece for becoming a “loose cannon.”

All in all, we spent four days just going through the motions. Taking apart and putting the field pieces together. The crews were sweating and grumbling, practicing sham loadings and firing we have precious few friction primers and were using the slow match, unlit of course to sham fire the pieces. After going through these “exercises” for four days running with surprise “night battles:” we were, both officers and men exhausted.

The next day it was more of the same, take down the ordnance, put it back together, sham fire etc, etc.

The last night the brass gave us Jr. officers and the men a real surprise--- we had to move to a new position a few miles from our present camp, take apart, load the disassembled artillery pieces into the wagons, move them as silently as possible to our new position, unload, reassemble, put into position on the field and make ready to fire all before the sun rose that morning! Let me state here and now I have never heard such swearing and cussing in my entire life as I heard that morning! I thought I had been well versed in the meanings and uses of swear/cusswords in hunting camp! Believe me I gained a whole new vocabulary that I never knew existed throughout that day.

That evening after the pieces and their carriages were taken down and loaded into the wagons we began the long 20 mile trek back to camp arriving about an hour ago then we had to unload and reassemble the artillery and move the pieces into the artillery park at the center of camp . After which we were dismissed

And given a two-day liberty. If I sleep as I intend to for a whole day and a half. I will see La Lune Etoile only in my dreams.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel November 7^th the morning

I know Robert has returned because Tullabelle said that there were a whole lot of the state militiamen wandering around Marksville while she was doing the grocery shopping in town earlier this morning.

I wonder why he has not sent word or indeed come out to Belle Vert himself? He has been away a whole week and when he returns nothing, no word, no Robert no anything! Perhaps this afternoon I will have Cicero hitch up the carriage and drive me into Marksville-----

Ma’mere called, sorry for the interruption Diary but it is now past noon and I had to eat. Ma’mere says No I cannot go to town she knows that the Militia has returned and says that well-bred young ladies do not chase after men at any time and for any reason. I know that she is right and that I should be patient. She reminds me that Robert will present his carte d’ visite when he has the time to do so.

I know too that if I do not watch myself and behave when around him I shall most likely gain an unsavory reputation and be thought of as a “loose woman!” But he thrills me so! Just to be near him sends shivers of delight throughout my being. He is all a woman could want all she dreams of ---- all I dream of!

Oh, this blasted war looming over our future. Could I make him see that we could leave, go west before it comes and it will come as surely as I will draw my next breath.

But if not for this threat we may never have met, so I suppose I must be thankful for that, he did come from New Orleans and joined Foregett’s Battery to be with his cousins when he just as easily could have joined the Louisiana Tiger Zouaves or some other group. I am thankful that he decided to come to Avoyelles Parish and join with his cousins. At least M. Foregett has promised that his battery will only help to defend Avoyelles and not leave to fight in some other parish or state if it comes to war.

Well Diary I have spent almost the entire day thinking and writing. I really do have to give you a proper name-----

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch November 9 1800 hours

Yesterday was spent drilling the artillery crews and marching about the parade ground to the delight of the citizens and the discontent of the crews. These people think that they are still civilians and can come and go as they please, drill if they feel up to it or just slouch throughout the day if they do not.

I am afraid that an example will have to made of one, if not some of them and that may not too far in the future for I have heard that two, possibly three of crew # 5 left camp early this morning without proper leave and now have search parties out looking for them.

I suppose their excuse will be, when they are caught that they had to get the crops in for the coming winter. However that will not wash as the state has seen to it that each soldier’s wife has received anywhere from $5.00 to $12.00 a month to see them through the winter and beyond depending on the size of the family and the rank of the soldier.

I pity these boys when caught for they will be charged with no less than an AWOL and at worse desertion. It is a good thing that we are not at war for then the penalty for the latter charge would be death by firing squad. Frankly, I see no use in the killing of one’s own men it is a waste of manpower, powder and lead all of which are in short supply throughout the southern states.

Ahh I hear that the miscreaents have been returned to camp under guard and put into the stockade.

Monday at the earliest they will, I suppose, be courts marshaled and the sentences meted out.

Monday 12 November 1100 hours.

The courts martial has ended and the sentences passed there were only two accused and both were charged with AWOL Thank goodness the court decided to try them on the lesser charge rather than desertion. Both men are to whipped through camp and loose all pay for two months. Their families are not to be deprived of the allowances granted them by the state and one of the accused, a corporal will be busted to private .

Considering what they could have been charged with and the light punishment received they should think themselves lucky. It seems that the presiding judge chose the lighter sentence to set both an example of justice tempered with mercy. “However, he warned the accused, that next time, if there is a next time, leniency will not be considered and they will receive the maximum penalty allowed by law. He added that they were lucky we were not at war because if that were the case they surely would both have faced a firing squad. Addendum;

We have just learned that Abraham Lincoln has been elected president of these United States! This does not bode well for the southern states. I fear, as do many others that some states will leave the Union, this is not unexpected that is why myself and others have joined with the various state militias

Dairy Entry Friday November 16^th 10: 15 Am Madeleine Deshotel

Well fiddle dee, dee! Robert has finally deigned to write me! He apologizes for not writing sooner or actually coming to visit but says he has been kept busy with various military duties. And Roberta that’s right Roberta I have decided to change your name Dairy, to Roberta in honour of the man I intend to marry! Although I am learning that, he can be and most probably will be most trying at times.

Still---- Oh Roberta, he goes on to say that, two soldiers were tried on Monday instant for being absent without leave and that in his opinion they both were lucky to receive such light sentences. He does not reveal what their punishment entailed. However he need not go into detail as I am well aware of what they were, having been enlightened by my dear cousin Randolph he is a hopeless gossip and it was not long before the incident and it’s outcome were spread, I have no doubt parish wide. As is the news that some politician by the name of Lincoln has been elected president of the country. Of course I knew he was in the running but his name did not appear on any ballots in the southern states. Other than that and that he is anti-slavery I know very little. However it seems, judging by the excitement caused by the news that he is the very one the south does not want in that position.

To change the subject---- Robert says that he will take a liberty this weekend if possible. I pray that he can and will come to visit. I of course shall play the coquette and at first refuse to see him. Let him stew in his own juices for a while, cool his heels or whatever the expression is these days.

Diary Entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch Friday 16 November 1700 hours

Captain Jonquille has approved my request for weekend leave. The question remains shall I let La Lune Etoile know to expect me or should I just show up on the doorstep? To let her know that I am coming to visit would be to allow her to prepare or as is said in the militia “forewarned is forearmed” and knowing her temperament perhaps it would be better if I presented my “carte d’ visite” unannounced.

Oui, that is what I shall do, ride out the M. Deshotel’s plantation unannounced.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel Monday 19^th November 7:30 AM

Oh Roberta what a weekend! Robert came by Saturday in the early afternoon and presented his carte d’ visite. I of course was surprised and a bit miffed that he had not sent prior notice of his pending visit and showed it by letting him cool his heels the reception room for close to an hour. Finally I could not stand the suspense any longer and went downstairs to greet him, However I played it cool and kept him, as they say at arms length. We had a nice evening and interesting conversation with my duenna* present of course, as it is considered unseemly for a young lady to be alone with a young gentleman at any time particularly if that young gentleman is considered a suitor.

We walked through the rose garden in the early evening and were permitted by my duenna to hold hands while strolling. Stopping every now and again to admire a particularly exquisite blossom or interesting coloring--- Robert would look into my eyes and whisper such things as “your eyes Madeleine reveal the beauty that resides within your soul. To look into them one sees the purity of your heart and the gentleness of your manner.” Or. “ To walk with you is like Adam walking with Eve on the morning of their creation.”

I of course could not help blushing as he whispered into my ear “Oh if only I might behold you as Adam beheld Eve that morning.” To say I was shocked would be overstating my reaction of course I pretended to be so and raised my hand to slap his face. However he caught my wrist and looking deep into my smiled. I couldn’t help myself and smiled back.

I wanted to say “I look forward eagerly to a morning such as that” But of course I could not, so I simply replied, “Perhaps Robert, we should turn around and head back to the house supper will be served in a short while.”

Supper as it turned out was a quiet affair. The conversation centered around the weather, and the expectation of what prices the various crops would bring. Sugarcane, of course being the major crop now being harvested. The Cotton crop has just been harvested and according to the latest predictions should bring a nice profit on the international market. Oh how thrilling!

The talk then turned to the possibly of war between the southern and northern states and of course the south would win--- that was a forgone conclusion. The Yankees had no stomach for fighting. A bunch of and I quote “pasty-faced factory wage slaves who probably never held a gun in their hands and certainly were not as athletic and in as good a physical shape as our southern gentleman. Why the war would be over in three months at the outside and the Yankees would come begging for peace. I wanted to scream out, Is that all you men care to speak of? Crops and war! But I did not because Poppa would have sent me to my room with only a look and I would not have been able to see Robert until sometime on Sunday, probably after Mass, if at all.

Well Roberta, supper ended on that note and the gentlemen retired to the parlor for the requisite brandy and cigars. After about an hour or so they joined us in the music room, where mother and other lady guests played the piano and sang Stephen Foster songs. I, of course was asked to perform and sang “Beautiful Dreamer” and “Jeanne with the Light Brown Hair” as well as one French song, Frere Jacques. Accompanied on the piano by cousin Randolph.

Shortly after that Robert and I, accompanied by Cousin Randolph instead of my duenna Tante Jehanne. As it was nearing the midnight hour and while it is permissible for a lady and her fiancé to stay up until the early hours They must never be left alone, so it is that Cousin Rudolph became chaperone in place of Tante Jehanne because the old lady had retired shortly after supper.

However, Cousin Rudolph being wise in the ways of lovers remained discreetly back and out of sight allowing us to have more privacy than Tante Jehanne ever would have.

The moon was bright and offered a gentle light by which we could guide our steps. We wandered throughout Ma’mere’s garden and stood in wonder among the late blooming Fleur d’ Lis that seemed to give off a light of their own. It was here that Robert dared to kiss me and that I dared to return his kiss with a fervor I had never experienced before. Of course, Roberta, I had kissed other boys and men before, old uncles, cousins, grand pere and Poppa. But no kiss has ever made me thrill as his does! My heart began to beat so fast that I was afraid it would burst. My breath came in gasps, my knees almost buckled.

Sacre Bleu Roberta I almost fainted! Robert probed my lips with his tongue sending paroxysms of exquisite delight up and down my spine. Oh my! What will it be like on our wedding night? I dare not imagine for if I do I fear that I will not be able to hold out until then and besides, Dear Roberta, we have yet to set a date because of the uncertainty of the times. Perhaps we should marry as soon as possible but there are rules, customs to be followed. We must court for at least a year, longer would be better, but a year is the absolute minimum and we have only been courting for a few months although the marriage was arranged a long time ago we, that is the betrothed couple still have the final say if either of us feel that the union will not work for whatever reason have the right to cancel the arrangement. It was not so just a few years ago the marriages were arranged and that was that the prospective bride and groom had no say in the matter. I forget how many but I believe it was late winter or early spring of this year When his cousin David brought him to a soirée. And we, that is Robert and I decided to begin the courtship in earnest Perhaps, just perhaps dear Roberta, time will dictate that we marry before a year has passed--- I pray that it will be so!

Well Dear Roberta, Sunday turned out to be a day of beautiful weather and a most delightful surprise .

It was after diner* that Poppa had Hannibal, one of the house servants, bring out a bucket of ice cream! Oh it was delightful. Peaches and pecan ice cream! Such a treat! If I had not been so full from diner I believe I could have eaten at least three servings but then most likely I would have become ill…

Alas Robert had to go back to camp last evening. There was only be time for a short stroll in the garden before he has to depart. I savored every moment of our time together and dared to tease his lips with my tongue this time! Oh my stars what a vixen I am becoming--- such wicked actions--- No I refuse to believe that they are wicked for what is love if one does not feel desire for the beloved? To be together through all of eternity---- oh what a waste this war will bring to both north and the south both will buckle over with pain, a pain that I believe will not be eased for a century or more.

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch Monday 19 November 2000 hours.

I returned to our camp in Marksville today at 0800 hours instant to assume the duties of Officer of the Day. What a let down after the excitement of being with La Lune Etoile over the weekend! By the Eternal that woman plays the coquette very well I never know what to expect from her. When I arrived she refused to speak with or even to be in the same room with me for over an hour. But she finally relented and allowed me into her presence.

We spent the rest of the day and well into the night in each other’s company and our stroll through the garden! The way she kissed--- or should I say the way she allowed me to kiss her.

The next day was just as wonderful. The air was cool, not cold but a gentle automne breeze, after diner we gathered on the gallery and enjoyed Ice cream! Oui, Diary you heard right Ice cream! And then La Lune Etoile and I strolled through the garden and she produced another surprise far sweeter than the ice cream could ever hope to be. She kissed me and teased my lips with her tongue ! When I opened my mouth to answer her probing she backed away breathing heavily and trying hard to smile. I do believe that she dared herself to do that just to see if she would go through with it.

Oh how tame this day is after last evening. The boys have been going through their paces with the artillery quietly, not firing a shot or cussing too loudly. The weather is cool and sunny today so the crews have not too much to complain about.

As far as I have heard about this weeks duties nothing is out of the ordinary. Drill, march, eat, exercise and sleep that seems to be extent of what the brass has planned for us for now and the foreseeable future.

Well Diary this day is almost over soon it will be dark and time to turn in for the night. I wonder what Madeleine is doing now? Oh how I ache to be with her! I think, no, I know I am in love with her and would give all, save my honor to be with her. For if I cannot be true to myself and my state how can I be true to her?

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel Monday November 19^th 10:00 PM.

Oh Roberta what a waste this day has been! I miss Robert so, even though it has been little more than a day since he returned to camp I cannot wait until we are man and wife come what may. I will pray that that blessed day arrives quickly and also I pray that this brewing firestorm passes by with as little damage as possible.. Perhaps it will come to nothing and be only as Shakespeare wrote in King Lear “A great wind full of sound and fury signifying nothing!”

* Diner= The noon meal

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel, Tuesday November 20^th 9:00 AM

This looks to be the same as yesterday dull, dull, dull unless Ma’mere and I go into Marksville but there is little chance of that. The morning is half over, Poppa is in the fields and will not return until it is time for diner. By then it will be afternoon before we finish and as the days are short, it will be dark upon our return. Poppa will not allow it.

I would enjoy going into town and see what has arrived in the stories since my last visit. My, but that was a while ago! About the middle of October as I recall. Oh I suppose I could work on my needlepoint

But to what end? Embroidering bold letters onto linen for my trousseau is not my idea of a fun afternoon.

Perhaps Poppa will allow me to go riding this afternoon, now that would be fun, the wind blowing my hair every which way, galloping about under gaily colored leaves--- Only I hate riding side-saddle oh for the feel of a horse’s back between my limbs like it used to be when I was younger and allowed to straddle the saddle! Oh my goodness Roberta I made a rhyme! Ha, ha, ha.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel Tuesday November 20^th 6:30 PM

Oh my stars what a time I had today Poppa did let me go riding this afternoon! And alone! Well almost alone he had Cousin Guilhem (William) brother to Randolph accompany me Guilhem is, if anything closer to me in age being just two years older than I am and junior to Randolph by five.

We had a grand time and tied on the race back to the stables.

It is good to have so many cousins even the girl cousins are fun most of the time particularly when we are discussing men! Oh we laugh, giggle and wonder about all sorts of things like why men act the way they do when around us and so differently when among their own gender?

Why are women not allowed the freedom that men enjoy? I am sure that with practice we can be just as good as they are with guns or swords or riding and other “manly” pursuits. Suppose this war does take place and suppose that we are alone at one time or another and threatened by banditti or deserters or whatever if we can learn to shoot we could better protect ourselves and our so called precious virtue! Pah!

Why does a man need not be a virgin when he marries and a woman must be?

What do you think Roberta ? Is Robert a virgin? I suppose I will have to ask him that question when next we meet. No! I do not suppose---- I will!

Oh, the supper bell----

10:00 PM

I am back Roberta We had roast Capon with rice and sweet peas for supper but that is not the news, what do you care what we had for supper? Non Mon Amie the news is that Poppa has agreed to take us all into town tomorrow! We will leave bright and early around 7:00AM and should arrive in Marksville about 10:00 AM. A whole day of shopping Oh I am so excited--- who knows perhaps if Robert is free for the afternoon we will get together, I can hardly wait until morning. I must calm myself and get some rest.

If only I could !

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch Wednesday 21 November 0900 hours

I cannot believe it! Of all the asinine, stupid, ideas to come down the pike from the upper echelon. Those political geniuses, the general officers who don’t know one end of a sword from the other, pompous fools! Who through “connections” have been placed in charge of this militia.

They propose to relieve every artillery officer and man of their government issued side arms for redistribution to the cavalry and infantry officers above the rank of Captain we will however be allowed to replace the confiscated small arms with privately owned handguns. Oh how generous of them!

And those of the rank and file that cannot afford a personal hand gun? What do you suppose they plan to arm them with besides sabers and short swords?---- Bows and arrows is what!

Most if not all of these men, of the artillery crews have never shot a bow in their lives. How are they going to learn? Who is going to teach them? The Indians? I doubt it. The boys would never consent to taking orders from Indians as most consider them to be on the same level as slaves. Besides the Tunica/Biloxi Tribe here is not known to be very warlike.

The day has been going by at a snail’s pace . I really have nothing to do, but am enjoying the weather it is sunny, cool with a nice breeze, even the gun crews are in good sprits despite the constant drilling-----

What is this? Some excitement in camp---- I went to see what was causing such a stir. Seems those idiots that run this show are serious about trading bows for guns. We have received, courtesy of the Louisiana State Militia two wagon loads of bow staves and the material that goes to make them usable, hemp strings!

I am still in shock ! I simply cannot believe that those in command would actually carry this through! When the call for a general assembly of the troops is called I am sure there is going to be a riot!

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel Wednesday November 21^st 6:30 PM

Roberta you will hardly believe what happened in Marksville today. We arrived in town a bit after 10 AM and headed straight to the center of town where the shops are and of course the militia encampment around the town square. First stop was Uncle Joseph’s general store, it’s a musty old place and the first smell or should I say odor that hits one is that of grain, flour, and various other staples, coffee, tea etc.

As two of the field hands were loading the things that Poppa purchased onto the second wagon. We, that is Poppa, Ma ‘mere and my sister Elise escorted us to Meme Isabella’s Emporium Where all the latest fashions from France and Europe are displayed. The first gown that caught my eye was one of shimmering blue watered silk. The next was a sinfully red brocade and the next a stunning yellow taffeta! Oh I was jumping up and down like it was Christmas morning! “Poppa” I pleaded, “I simply must have them all!”

Elise also wanted them. As you well know Roberta That is an impossibility! The three dresses would cost at least $100.00 apiece and to have six! Of the same make and color why that would be preposterous!

Then, out of the corner of my eye, almost hidden away behind bolts of cloth I spotted A green, no an Emerald green gown that was, except for the color the same shimmering dress as the blue watered silk one but this one was trimmed in a dark green lace collar that rested on the shoulders just above the bodice and covered the neck with the same lace in the wrists. The blue one had no lace and this one, the green one was $250.00 American or $320.00 In Louisiana “Dixie” notes.

Needless to say I fell head over heels in love with the that gown and pleaded with Poppa to buy it. “Just this one Poppa this is the only one I want. Please Poppa!

Poppa shook his head, threw his arms up in resignation and said I cannot afford such expense Madeleine. If I were to buy that dress for you I would have to buy Elise two just so she would not cry all the way home and not to mention your mother… Sacre Bleu! If I were to buy her nothing---- I would be hounded to my death, cursed and vilified before all of the ladies of society.

No my dear it is impossible. I will, however buy you each, one of the $100.00 dollar dresses so pick and be satis. ----

Then BOOM the whole building shook, glass shattered, we rushed outside to see what had happened.

One of the cannons had gone off, then another and another, the noise was deafening the artillery that the men had been practicing with all this time was firing! Has the war started? How did the Yankees get here without a word of warning? Then all became deathly still.

We never did get those dresses Roberta, Poppa hurried us back to the wagons and the next thing we knew we were headed home.

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch Wednesday 21 November 1600 hours

When the crews tending the three artillery pieces that were fired(luckily it was just powder they set off and no projectiles) heard that they had to turn in their side arms that was their reaction. They will, of course be disciplined , but the damage is already done the moral of these men has sunk so low That I am very doubtful of the fact that we shall be able to muster a full artillery crew for one gun come next week.

Thursday 22 November 0800 hours.

Nothing to report

Friday through Sunday 23---25 November

The camp is quite the soldiers responsible for the cannon firing have been dishonorably discharged from service in the La. Militia with loss of any pay coming to them and all allowances to their families. All requests for weekend leave have been denied. The side arms are to be collected for redistribution starting Monday the 26^th instant.

Monday 26 November 0600 hours

It has started to rain and it looks as though it will be an all day soaking. The rain now is little more than a drizzle but darker clouds are moving over us even as I write. Lightening followed closely by an horrendous crash of thunder! Another strike! A tree is down and smoldering, Wind getting stronger I estimate that it gusts up to thirty miles an hour at times, some tents not securely pegged down are tumbling through the camp. “By the Eternal this is more than a storm I believe we are in a tornado!

I do not believe that the artillery crews are going to have to give up their side arms this day!

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel Saturday December 1^st 1860

Roberta, It has been a terribly slow week, the rain has come down in drips and drabs and sometimes in sheets for a week now! And the sky is still an ugly shade of gray so it is possible that we are in for more wetting. The fields are saturated but still the planters, Poppa among them, are out everyday in the weather supervising and coaxing the field hands to work faster as the longer the cane stays in the ground the more susceptible it becomes to rot and if this happens many of the planters will be ruined!

No, I haven’t heard a thing from Robert for all this time. I suppose he is busy with his military duties and has not had time to spare for me. And with the horrible weather we have been having rain, wet everything etc. and the cold ; although it is not yet bitter cold we do huddle around the large fireplace in the parlor and stay there most of the day except for meals when we hurry to the dining room through the drafty hall and across the breezeway to the other half of the house.

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch Monday 3 December 1860 0900 hours

It looks a though the weather will finally clear, after more than a week of intermittent rain and cold the sun has finally come out and the sky is almost cloudless. As soon as the roads become passable I suppose we will start training again . Right now and most likely for the coming week or two it will be almost impossible to do anything except get this camp back into a decent shape.

We have heard nothing from the outside as to what is happening in the country at large. I, however feel in my bones that this will be our last peaceful holiday season for a long time to come. So we best make the best of it. That being said I had better start looking for a Christmas present for my bride- to- be. What to get for a girl that has everything and can have anything she wants with just a smile and a “please Poppa?”

Monday !0 December 0600 Hours

I have not had anything to write about for a whole week. Boredom has been our lot there is absolutely nothing to do. The roads are finally becoming passable I will ask Capt. Jonquille for a weekend pass if it can be arranged. I see no reason why it will not be granted as all is quiet. The camp is beginning to come to life. The first thing one hears in the morning after reveille is the sound of a huge beast clearing it’s throat. A universal cough and hawking up of phylum and spittle. Then the smell of brewing coffee pervades the camp accompanied by the odor of frying meat and if one is lucky an egg or two.

Thursday 13 December 1400 hours

Nothing out of the ordinary to report, camp life is as usual, wake up, eat, march to the artillery park, go through the motions of loading and firing the various pieces. The weather is pleasant and the men seem to have settled in to the daily routine with little complaint. I have been granted a weekend leave that begins at sundown tomorrow.

There are talks going on in Washington as to the future status of our country. However it seems that the U.S government reuses to recognize our right to secede and is adamant about turning over what they claim is U.S. military property to the various state militias Talks it seems are at impasse but as long as there are talks the chance of actual hostilities breaking out are slim.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel Friday December 14^th 1860 3:00 pm

Received a letter from Robert today by steam packet, the boat stopped at our plantation landing on the bayou that marks the boundary of our sugar cane fields near the southern end of Point Coupee Parish and thence by horseback to our plantation here in Avoyelles why this circular route only Le Bonne Dieu knows. The workings of the government are mysterious indeed.

Monday December 17^th 7 am

Roberta! Oh what a weekend! Robert arrived late Friday evening about 10:00pm and we , that is the family, Robert and myself had a late supper or as they call it in France Le Grande Dejeuner.

It was much too cold for Robert and I to go wandering about the flower garden so we settled into the parlor with the family for a late evening of polite conversation and for those of us mature enough a hot toddy or two before retiring for the night. Elise who through the indulgence of Poppa was allowed to join us despite being only fourteen, drank a toddy and a half before stumbling up the stairs to bed and to the amusement of “the older generation” It is not that we did this to be funny Roberta. She will after all, have her debutante party in March of next year and she must be able to assume the role of a young lady eligible for marriage and that includes being able to handle the “punch” being served at hers and other debutante parties she is obligated to attend.

Saturday came to life bright and sunny. After breakfast Robert and I went riding. Oh it was such an exciting morning, racing over the pastures and yes even jumping low fences now and then. The air blowing my hair free like an auburn flag waving in the wind, the wind making my eyes water, snatching the laughter and words out of my mouth letting the sounds fly away like---, like song birds! While we on winged steeds sailed through the airs above the ground!

We finally stopped to rest ourselves and the horses beneath a huge White Oak There was a great amount of mast on the ground beneath the tree. We let the horses feed freely as we wandered to the shady side of the oak’s massive trunk.

Robert, thoughtful as ever, had unsaddled both horses and brought the blankets for us to sit upon.

This was, as you shall see Roberta, was not a good idea because as soon as we were comfortable Robert began getting “familiar” with me at first I welcomed his attentions as would any young lady in love. A kiss on the cheek, a caress of the shoulder,---- then more demanding--- his lips on mine, his tongue probing---- I of course answered back eagerly, as wave after wave of delicious pleasure coursed through my being. My breathing became rapid and heavy. Our tongues battled the age old battle, gasps of pleasure and moans of desire escaped both of us. I found myself lying on the blanket and Robert above me foundling my breasts which had somehow escaped the confines of my clothes save for the chemise which, thank goodness, kept them discreetly covered.

“Stop, stop,” I managed to gasp out, although that, my dear Roberta, was the last thing I wanted him to do.

Robert acted as though I had not said anything but continued to caress them--- I twisted away and slapped his face--- hard! The slap brought him to his senses, his eyes came back into focus and he stammered an apology as I swiftly re-buttoned the bodice of my riding habit.

“I think sir, that we had best be getting back , There will be more than enough time for this type of behavior after we are wed.” I said sternly, although I did smile as I said it.

Robert smiled back albeit he was a bit red in the face.

The ride back went quickly now that I look back upon it. At the time however it seemed to take a tiny eternity. Diner was a quiet affair (funny is it not that I should use that word!) and of course after luncheon as the crass Americans call it is the time for a nap, a faire un somme après midi as we say.

After the a faire un somme après midi the evening cold began to settle in again so that one more Robert and I were barred from strolling among the flowers. Which was just as well because if he “came on” in the garden as he had earlier, I honestly doubt I could have resisted his advances.

Sunday after Mass we went to the church picnic. There were games of chance for the adults ( so what else is new? The Catholic Church is (in)famous for encouraging gambling of one sort or another provided it is for a “good cause” as well as the usual “sack” races of the boys/men and sewing/ cooking/ baking competitions for the ladies. Of course if the truth be known the Plantation mistresses themselves did not bake or cook although they did take the credit if the pie, cake, or meal provided won a prize .

There were also Marksman contests for the men/boys and even an archery competition among the Indians that attended the picnic. This archery competition for some reason caught the attention of Robert.

He watched it with keen interest and after the winner had been declared he went to talk with him.

We got back home as the sun was slowly settling below the horizon Robert had to leave now or a few hours later to get back to Marksville before his liberty expired. I persuaded him to stay for supper. Which he did.

Diary Entry Monday 17 December, 1200 hours

My God what a weekend! La Lune Etoile and I went riding Saturday and I almost, almost had her!

But thanks to Le Bon Dieu she came to her senses in time and slapped me back into mine. There is no doubt in my mind that once we are wed she will be one lady that will be almost be too hot to handle!

By the Eternal she is a package! I can hardly wait to get her into the marriage bed! If she does not kill me that first night I look forward to many years of marital bliss. I returned to Marksville just in time to avoid being placed on report. That Jonquille is a stickler for regulations.

In any event I have. thanks to Capt. Jonquille the rest of the day off (unofficially of course). If by chance or design, something should happen like the outbreak of hostilities or whatever I will of course be on full duty.

Diary Entry Lt. Robert Sylvester Lesch Tuesday 18 December 1860 0700 hours

The weather is cold and the crews are improving in both speed of loading and accuracy as the brass has finally allowed the artillery crews to load and fire live. There is talk of an all volunteer “sniper” with the Avoyelles infantry company which if I qualify I will most likely join. Of course, it may not necessary for such a company only time will tell.

There are reports that a meeting in Charleston SC is taking place where the statesmen there are going to vote on whether to secede from the union or not. I would hope that they decide against secession but given the mood of the south I believe that to be highly unlikely. I fear that if the vote goes in favor of secession we will be plunged into a war that the southern people will rue for a long time to come.

Well events are starting to happen and the pieces will soon be in place either for war or a continued uneasy peace. Only time will tell. If South Carolina does secede and by some miracle the United States lets them depart peacefully. I believe that other southern states will soon follow suit and if that happens war I believe is inevitable. For any fool should be able to see that the United States will not let so much territory and so large a tax base , not to mention the loss of so much raw material for the factories in the north to be deprived of go without a fight.

Diary entry Madeleine Deshotel Wednesday December 19^th 1860 11:00 am

The whole south is waiting to learn the outcome of the vote for or against secession now being taken in SC. You know Roberta this is the second time that SC has attempted to buck the United States The first was about thirty years ago when they passed the act of nullification in an attempt to nullify a tariff tax. Well as it turned out Old Hickory forced them to nullify the act of nullification as he started south from Washington with the army and now here they are trying the patience of Washington DC again. I do not think that they will succeed even if they do pass an act of secession. I think the federal government will reign them in once again.

Of course it may come to pass that if the federal government does send troops into SC the rest of the south will rise in her defense which did not happen thirty years ago. Well I suppose we will just have to wait and see what the outcome is and if SC does secede what will the U.S. do? And what will be the reaction of Louisiana and the rest of south.

Diary entry Lt. Robert Silvestre Lesch Wednesday 19 December 1860 1500 hours

There is no word out of Charleston yet, I believe that the whole of the southern states are holding their collective breaths waiting for word. In the meantime the world goes on as if nothing has changed and it is true that as of now all remains quiet and life goes on as usual. The duty day is almost over. Another two days and the weekend will have arrived. If all stays as it is I may well have another weekend pass in my pocket.

Diary entry t. Robert Silvestre Lesch Thursday 20 December 1860 1900 hours

We learned earlier today that South Carolina has severed all ties with the United States and declared itself to be a free and independent country. God help us! Lincoln (the president -elect) has said that if any U.S. property is taken over by the state of SC before his inauguration, General Scott, the General in charge of the army will have to take it back. It is unknown at this time whither more southern states will follow SC’s lead. However I think that, that is a given. As to which state will be the next to go is anyone’s guess “The Union is dissolved” May God protect the Right!

　

* Notes

1.As we know from history the states that followed South Carolina out of the Union were:

Mississippi- 9 January 1861, Florida- 10 January 1861,Alabama- 11 January 1861,Georgia- 19 January 1861, Louisiana 29 January 1861, Texas February 1 1861, These were the states that seceded before hostilities broke out. They were followed by Virginia 17 April 1861,.Arkansas 6 May 1861- North Carolina 20 May 1861 and Tennessee on 8 June 1861.

2. Robert Silvestre Lesch was captured a Vicksburg MS when the city surrendered on July 4 1863. As part of Foregett’s Louisiana battery. He was paroled and returned to his home in Marksville La. To await prisoner exchange which never happened. While awaiting exchange he marries Madeleine Deshotel and they live out their lives during the war and through reconstruction.

3. Robert Silvestre Lesch is a composite of two of my ancestors that fought for the south during the war between the states or as they called it “the late unpleasantness” (among other things)

Madeleine Deshotel a is purely fictional character as are all of the other people named in the story.