to be fair, go to where you feel

You're not feeling now like you were yesterday

that's to be expected

changes in temperature bring out the best in your forever worried face

you've held on to things much deeper and more opulent for longer

than a coffee, a danish, and a ridiculous glass chemistry set

even the attic loved to hate

I felt I had so much more to say last night

when I was tired

that's the idea

but now, are forgotten, and without purpose

I long for the rush where my thoughts of you desperately meandered and even found a rhythm, something I knew, the only thing with certainty, and strong too  

there was a better way to say this, i'm pretty sure

I had it all organized i don't ever think it matters

it would just hurt you

or honor you

or fail to communicate

with a blocked passageway in it's throat

and that's how I feel or like I'm dying to live

but you aren't here and I choose not to live

and how I feel is irrelevant

but I've never felt like this before

like putting everything I have out in front of me and asking you to choose it all, whatever's worthwhile

and if there's an attendant available, we need to reach out for help, are we lost?

no, just that it wasn't a possession, your heart

you were afraid of losing me but I am afraid of losing you  

to be fair, you should go

go to where you feel.

i never left you for a minute

you ask why i say

because it's all that I know