Upon Reflection

For an hour or so in the Maldives - on a beach - the garden of the sea
I was mistaken for a mirage - of a woman - not even free

  And in the middle of a long-winded breeze
I could have been sworn in by the haze of the trees
And I forgot for a minute or two - the sound of my own voice
Because the ocean had more important things to say
Even if it was only ‘Goodbye’ or ‘Good Luck’

and I felt vain

Something crawling on four legs came up
for a sun bath white sand nap
Clicking it’s tongue and eating it’s young
I just kept eating bits of my pilot bread
My daydream wasn’t done
Right where I left off, had her underneath my shirt
Licking parts of me I was sure I’d never known
like the black spot on the moon
contemplating suicide
but thinking about the world
and the darkness that it needs

In order to grow
I was covered up to my knees by the blanket of the shore
I could smell melting fruit but much much sweeter than you think
I was in a secret orchard last spring - but it did nothing to cure my childhood bleeding
I bled so much one year I had to play by myself
I was prone to turning red
whenever I saw her hair blow in the wind
I think she knew I wanted to have sex with her
so she made an appearance in all of my daydreams
ever since
but now I have this beach

and so i should wave goodbye to my new friend.