if i give this thing a title will you promise to give me a cookie?

The last time I sang I offended my shower
the last time I barked I insulted my bite
Every time I keep a secret a door opens up to me
And when that door squeaks
And when my heart beats
and when the hole in the sky leaks
and when that castle in the air is just a fortress in the clouds
sad clouds, though, self-aware clouds not the shapely ones who roam the sky peacefully with big white propellers trying to act cool with their godawful hats and cigars

I mean, the last time I breathed your name, I got all choked up
And turned into a wolf at dawn

And a statue in a parade
for the turtle cavalcade

Nettlesome, and tiresome,
Mrs. Wallace, Mr. Wallace,
wedding ring, shrimp ring
frosting, and a painting of a cake
another log on the fire
and a poison mushroom in the forest that spits at everyone
Sigh …
the answer I was looking for was “it’s going to be a blue blue Christmas for the Wallace family”

If this poem made no sense whatsoever please press 9 now. To collect your free gift (an inside out toaster oven) press 99

to burn the author with boiling hot vinegar please press hwq7ehqhey3h2387h3h1h1h4714q!