Chapter 3

Well this is actually only part of a chapter, and only the very basic outline. MUCH editing needed, and maybe more creativity? Idk. I'm just trying to get my ideas out there.

He was surprised to come upon a ship.  It was old and quite ratty, a classic-looking ship, with broad sails and small porthole windows. 

With no time to think, he jumped onto its deck and, spotting no one there, thrust open the nearest hatch and flung himself down. 

There he found a sizable compartment.  It looked to be a good enough hiding place.  His heart pounded, almost drowning out the shouts of his father outside.  He listened as the voice drew quieter until he could hear it no more.  I am safe, he thought, and breathed a deep breath. 

          As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he began to look around.  How girly.  There were cerulean ruffled curtains�"everywhere, it seemed, and a little bed with embroidered coverings and lacey pillows.  There was a rather large wooden box against one corner, with a lock as big as his hand on the front.  A tall mirror was leaning against another.  He couldn’t tell whether the room had been used recently or not, but he got the eerie feeling that he should not stay for long. 

          He made his way back into the white light of the day and strained to see his surroundings.  When his eyes came into view he jumped, for there was a figure there, just a few yards away.  Its head was turned, its hands grasping the ledge that ran along the edge of the ship. 

A girl. 

Well of course, he thought, remembering the fashionable room. 

          He could not see her face, but the hair that fell out of her bonnet was dark and curly, reaching her lower back.  She wore a white-and-blue dress and no stockings.  And with shock, he examined, no shoes. 

          She looked his way.  “Aiii!  Who are you?!”  Her eyes widened as she observed his tall figure and battered garb.  Scrunched was her face, with fear and disbelief.  He could not even tell if she was pretty.  “Tell me now!” she yelled.  “My brother is not far away!”

          He stepped forward, hand held out.  The girl drew back.

          “Robin,” he announced.

          She stood, stubbornly, refusing to trust his hand.  “And what am I supposed to know from a name?  Who are you, boy?  Where do you come from and why are you on our ship?” 

          He paused, looking out at the waves that calmly thrust forward.  He didn’t know what to tell her.  He wasn’t exactly accustomed to complete stranger inquiring about him.

“I’m from the village.  Uh...I was playing hide-and-seek,” he said.

          “With who?”

          “Friends!  My friends.  I happened to think this ship was a good hiding place.”  He coughed.  “Don’t you think it is a good hiding place?”

"What a lie you tell,” she said smirking and shaking her head. “Just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean I'm dim-witted."

Robin looked away, embarrassed. "Okay. I was running from... someone,” he said.  Knowing that she would eventually get it out of him, he added, “I...I stole something." 

 “Tsk-tsk boy, you are lucky to have not been arrested! Who do you think you are, stealing things?” 

How sympathetic, Robin thought.  “Listen,” he said, “I can’t go back there.  I can’t.  If you are sailing, let me come with you.  I beg you.”

          “Are you crazy?  I don’t even know you!” she said, shoving at his back.  “Get off this ship before the others come�"“

          Before she was able to actually tip him over the edge, a large, bald man with a tattoo on his head appeared out of the captain’s quarters.  Robin looked at him incredulously.  He was very muscular; his skin was sweaty against his monstrous biceps.  He wore what looked to be a fancy captain’s vest with large golden buttons up the front.  What was strange was that he wore nothing underneath, which made his bulging muscles seem all the more menacing. 

          “Brother!” the girl cried.

          The large man stopped in his tracks and stared, wide-eyed, at Robin.  Robin stood awkwardly, waiting for him to say something.  But he didn’t.  After what seemed to be a lifetime, Robin finally blurted out “Uh…hello.”

          The man still stood there, unmoving.  The girl, who seemed to only now realize the uneasiness of the situation, gently elbowed her brother in the arm (which looked to be about the size of her).  The man turned to her and started to motion frantically with his hands, gesturing in Robin’s direction.  The girl nodded with understanding. 

          “He says you look like you’ve just been washed up on shore,” She giggled.

          The man looked at him and acted-out a wild chuckle, his chest heaving up and down.  He let out his hand for Robin to shake.

          “His name’s Gerrit.  He’s mute,” the girl said, looking slightly annoyed.  “He seems to like you.  Unfortunately.”

          Robin gave her an irritated look, and shook Gerrit’s hand.  “Robin Findley” he said.  Gerrit patted him firmly on the back.  He gestured something else to his sister and she whispered something unintelligible back.  After more exchanges, she finally turned to him.

“He says we should get you cleaned up, and then we can talk,” she translated.

          “Wait,” Robin said, “I don’t know your name yet.”

          The girl shifted anxiously in her place.  “I’m Noelle Archer.”

          “Noelle.  Ah, like Christmas!  Lovely.”

She crossed her arms.  Something, Robin thought, she appeared to love to do.

“Only a few minutes in my presence and you are beginning to truly annoy me.”  She muttered.

Author's Note

critiques and grammar suggestions would help a lot! Thanks.

Reviews

[Katie de Lavani]

Though it doesn't necessarily need the two chapters before this one, it might be nice to tell the reader what is going on. I didn't find any grammar mistakes, but I may have missed some. You are off to a good start.