Dawning of a New Day

A poem written together with my poet friend Paul from 'down under'

sitting in my favorite easy chair
listening to the sweet sound of birds
singing a cheerful “good morning “
my thoughts start to drift

I wonder where her mind is taking her
a place of fond remembering perhaps
her eyes cannot mask the past regret
she seems stronger comfortable within herself

from the safety of my living room
memories are foremost in my mind
like sunlight dancing through the windows
I’m juggling feelings of contentment mixed with regret

I’m wrestling with her contradiction of contentment
regret can erode the heart how can that be peaceful
the safety of her room bathed by springtime warmth
there perhaps she’s finding the key to her freedom

as the warmth of the sun slowly washes over me
I feel the cold residue of regret melting away
replaced by inexplicable tears of relief
anticipating the dawning of a new day

Author's Note

Many thanks to Paul for introducing me to the concept of a cento. The setting in this case involves two people. A woman in her sitting room is lost in thought while the man, whose thoughts are in italics, contemplates what she is thinking.

I took this photo while on the road going home.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is one of the best collaborations I've read here at the cafe. I love how each person is responding to the other, whereas many collaborations feel like two people trying to say something together. I love how the italicized parts impart a ton of feeling, as to one person really paying attention to the other. I believe most people do not pay this level of attention to anyone & that's why I enjoy it so much in your poem (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dara]

Thank you so much Margie! It was very enlightening and impromptu. Writing poetry with someone as talented and prolific as Paul was a wonderful learning experience for me as well. Great to see you. Be safe!

[BlackPrince]

I like the contemplative concept from the perspectives of two persons lost in their own thoughts.

The woman seems nostalgic and melancholic (showing vulnerability), whilst the man seems concerned genuinely about her.
The overall imagery (to a certain reader's mind) depicts a paradox: loneliness and togetherness.
This can be interpreted as a rocky marriage where husband and wife though living together drift into their own thoughts. Yet it also shows an independence of spirits with love, hope and care at the very core of co-existence between souls.

Well done!!!!

[Dara]

Thank you a thousand times for this wonderful review and insight in our poem. Poetry is best when shared and explored together. Your words sum this up in a beautiful way.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh i like this! i like this a lot!! i read your author's note first and expected the "man" to be going to Mars while the woman is visiting Venus :)))))))))))))))) had to look up Cento .. so cool that you two use it in real time ... and quote each others' ideas and words here and there rather than a line .. your "patchwork" has created a very intimate living portrait ..in that moment .. and the optimist in me loves your closing .. i feel cleansed from regrets .. i greet the "now" of sunlight and warmth .. well done .. what fun this must have been for you guys!
E.

[Dara]

Your comments always make me smile! Indeed it does seem like some men are from Mars and women Venus. I believe I had the pleasure of experiencing just the opposite. It was a wonderful interchange and certainly opened up my eyes to writing poetry in a much different style. Great to see you here my friend and to read your encouraging and enlightening words. :-)

[emmajoy]

What a beautiful 'duet' of words.. thoughts special yet fragile.. gentle. The idea of using the two voices isn't new but you've created a piece of writing that makes this reader think even more ahead and behind.. the reason for peeping into each other's minds.. the need, the love.. Superb writing by both of you.

[Dara]

Thank you so much Emma. It was the process of exchanging lines back and forth via chat that was so fascinating. It was automatic and so very natural. Truly a wonderful experience! I am happy you enjoyed it too.

[emmajoy]

Isn't it wondeful when that happens - when two minds think along the same route! My pleasure.

[Coyote Poetry]

The wonderful mind. Each of us. Filled with notions, memories and wandering thoughts. I loved the set-up of the poem. You made the reader believe and see the situation. Thank you Dara for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Dara]

And thank you for sharing your thoughts Coyote. The mind is one of the things that we need to explore more often. When two people come together in doing so, it becomes even more fascinating. Sometimes we think we can read each others mind, but it is important to delve deeper. Great to see you here!

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree dear Dara. Nice to find time, for coffee and conversation. You are welcome.

[Cherrie Palmer]

A great idea. Coupling the mind of two and their inner thoughts.
You two may need to try this again.

[Dara]

Thank you Cherrie! It was wonderful and yes, would be great to try it again. I highly recommend it :-) Take care!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so well done...sounds like two voices, but meshes like one poet.
Interesting scenario...he wonders how she can be so content...and although she does seem that way there is that lingering question...why is she watching from behind her winter...yes it is safe inside...but is she insulating and isolating herself...i think he worries this.
at any rate...terrific poem to ponder, you two!

j.

[Dara]

Thank you so much Jacob. You have added precious insight into this poem and made me really think! One must not get too comfortable sitting at home to avoid becoming isolated. Writing this together with my new friend was so very enlightening too. Have a great week!