Betrayed

My mind has betrayed me,

It wants me to suffer.

I cannot foresee

How this could make me tougher.

It's beaten me black and blue,

And given me cuts of red.

I don't know what to do,

I don't know what can be said.

I don't want to be alone anymore,

I need someone by my side.

I have many that I adore,

But I need someone in whom I can confide.

Now it tells me that I'm worthless,

That no one could ever care.

Do I really deserve this?

I guess it must be fair.

It wants me to starve,

That thing inside my head.

Wants to see how many cuts I can carve,

I think it wants me dead.

I used to think I was joyful,

Always full of cheer.

Though, now I'm just sorrowful,

Always full of fear.

Anything is what I would give,

For an hour of not being me.

I want to be ecstatic, really live,

And finally be free.

Though, now I'm just a dreamer,

Wishing for too much.

Wanting something sure,

Something I can touch.

I want to feel the life inside of me,

I no longer want to feel dead.

I want my mind to grow like a tree,

But the problem is in my head.

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

Why the "betrayed"? If your mind allows for you to resolve and sort through the pain of what is your "mind", then it, in and of itself, is performing the tasks it was designed for. You realize by the end of the poem, that this process is accepted and understood, and that should protect how you make decisions in the future!! Hope this bad day went away!! lol -Mark

[Shawna]

I absolutely love this, for I too feel like my mind is sometimes my worst enemy. This is going in my library. Thanks for the great read!