Regaining Form

Even elite athletes struggle for form!

I would give my right arm

to regain my youth,

to retrace the path

and have it lit

by wisdom.

 

But here and now

I stand,

transfixed,

in the shadow of death.

 

Too late to look back

with any real intent,

other than

to bleed remorse.

 

I must break from this

'stress position'

where I am fixed

and transfixed to the pain

and regret

in my limbs.

 

I must forge on,

keep ploughing

life's furrows

even with tired legs

and a weary soul.

 

I must regain,

reclaim,

and retain

the stamina,

the purpose,

I know

that I own.

 

10/09/20

Author's Note

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my friend.
"I must regain,
reclaim,
and retain
the stamina,
the purpose,
I know
that I own."
I need the same. Time to go forward. Thank you John for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

love this John! keeping it real .. straightforward .. totally human as we all reach a certain stage in life and wrestle with regrets, guilt, pain ..... the courage to face it all with brutal honesty and then "forge on" as you put it .. the "ploughing" speaks with emphasis in the context of your poem .. i see myself struggling with a hand plow ... pulling and pushing it alone ... the turn in closing has a contrasting pace as i read it .. each line picking my spirits up .. turning to the future .. re-inventing myself ;) great stuff for me this morning sir! my first read :)
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

So glad this has perked you up dear big 'E'. Aye life sure begins to tell when you hit sixty and beyond. Many thanks .

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ......................... yep.

[barleygirl]

When I first became unable to walk, I would look back on my many physical adventures thru-out life & think, had I known this is how the story ends, I would've savored those exquisite moments of unlimited movement a great deal more, instead of taking all that youth & power & nimbleness & mobility for granted. Love the thoughtful quality of this, which reflects how most people feel around our ages (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Agreed Margie and thank you. I have to work at it and work out for 45 minutes six days a week and do three two hour sessions at the gym. When I am finding it tough I remind myself just how fortunate I am do still be doing it.

[X]

Don't say I must--Just Do It! Every day is a new opportunity to create your life...its ain't over till the fat lady sings and you are 6 feet under tryin' to get out--stretch your limbs today and dance to the end of times...have a lovely day❤️

[John Alexander McFadyen]

ah indeed and I get that but my poetry dosen't lol!

[X]

you can start a new category Geriatric Poetry

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Cheeky mare!

[X]

You are sorely mistaken--I am but a happy cow in California....moo :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Great happy cows are good!

[X]

geriatric cows are the happiest :)

[YouoweYoupay]

"to retrace the path

and have it lit

by wisdom."

I have the exact same regrets! If we can go back in time, we would definitely choose to act and speak more slowly. wisely. kindly.

Your tired legs will take you to beautiful places. I am sure. Why? because life is bitter-sweet. Not just one of those. You've had your share of the bitter.

Keep writing.
~Aysha.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Aysha, good to see you again.

[DAH]

An excellent lament, and this para is superb:

"Too late to look back
with any real intent,
other than
to bleed remorse."

Bravo!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much DAH. Good to see you again.

[DAH]

My pleasure, and thank you!

[Kari Rakitan]

I'm sure I will struggle to regain my form after I give birth. However, one of my university textbooks described breastfeeding as "nature's easiest diet" since females can turn up to 900 calories a day into milk. I was so intrigued by this concept as well as the erotic aspects of lactation that I induced lactation and kept it up for a little over two years. However, it's not so easy when one's body has not been primed by pregnancy hormones. At my peak, I managed to squeeze out a tablespoon of milk every four hours. Yes, I woke up in the middle of the night to milk myself. It was when I caught the fanfic flu that I finally gave up on the routine. Still, the lactation is something I'm looking forward to, and one of my lovers has a lactation fetish, so I may keep it up for a while even after my baby no longer needs the milk:
https://youtu.be/IgrTPtwyQ3A

Thanks again for the song!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

What did you study at university, biology? And how do you induce lactation without pregnancy? Sounds fascinating and you obviously have a full and enjoyable life over there! Glad you enjoy the music. I try to find something apt for the work but also interesting if possible. Many thanks for reading me Kari.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Interesting video!

[Kari Rakitan]

I studied environmental policy analysis and planning with a minor in psychology. That particular tidbit came from my human development course as part of my psychology minor. I had some general biology, chemistry, and physics courses as part of my BS requirements too. It was a lot of fun overall!

[Kari Rakitan]

Inducing lactation takes a lot of massaging, at least every four hours. I think it was good practice since I now know how to hand express. I also have a pump, but if the pump breaks, I'll still be good to go. I plan on breastfeeding directly, but it will be good to save up extra milk for emergencies and maybe even some recipes.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Sounds like you are good to go and are going to enjoy it!

[Chris Shaw]

It creeps up on you. Gentle exercise is best. A nice long walk with the dog, gardening, nothing too strenuous. My gym days are over, though I will swim again when the pools are open. I am saying to ya, take it easy :)) Free verse conveyed to a consistently high standard.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Good advice Chris but falling on stony ground lol. Just got myself a personal trainer for one of my thrice weekly gym sessions and just finished my 40 minute morning workout. Nothing too muscle building though lol. Many thank yous!

[alanwgraham]

Excellent, John. Lots of wise observation. Moving through old age is a learning curve with only one outcome(sorry!). I'm approaching 70 but don't feel anything like it. I've been a lifetime hillrunner and still run up our local hill. Four years ago I had a string of medical problems that certainly shoogled my coat but all is well now. I'm just going to hang on in and pretend I'm still a big bairn in old mans disguise.
Take care,
Alan

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Love it Alan. I have the same mentality. Starting a programme with a personal trainer again next week even though I do a hard gym session three times a week. F**k age!