God Has Not Helped!

As time and life pass and the days grow short...................

Here I sit,

anorexic of adventure.

After so many decades,

so many falls from grace,

so many losses of faith,

there is no longer flesh

upon the bones of my ambitions.

 

Once I as was bright as the full moon,

bloated with the majesty of hope.

Willing it to shine my optimistic light

upon my world,

and share my mystery

and aura with my fellow man.

 

Then I could have flown high,

then higher and higher still,

just like the asteroid Icarus

sailing across the girth of the sun,

whose nearly perfect sphere of hot plasma

gives us life.

 

I too was radiant and full of energy,

but much like Icarus,

son of Daedalus,

my waxed feathers disintegrated in the heat

and I tumbled back to earth

to drown in the sordid sorrow

of a life so, so unfulfilled.

 

And I have tried so many times

to rise like a phoenix

from my ashes.

I have tried to raise myself

from my grave

like Lazarus of Bethany,

but all too often

that ever present Damoclean peril

has cut me down to size,

and left me in an arid

desert of disillusioned despair.

 

And now in my torpor

my moribund corpse

simply awaits

a time to die.

 

03/09/20

Author's Note

Lazarus, Hebrew Eleazar, (“God Has Helped”)

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a powerful portrayal of how many people probably feel, as the end of life nears. Your message dovetails with one I just read from John the Baptist, about how the end of life can be more about seeking knowledge & understanding, rather than seeking to amass WHATEVER people feel the need to amass. (Don't ask me which poem . . . I'm forgetful & he's written several that echo this theme). Even tho I catch the deeply spiraling mood of this poem, I somehow don't see this as coming from you. There's a running strength of feeling thru-out this poem that belies the words of this floundering fool! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[John Alexander McFadyen]

There I go again with those poetic licence half-truths and the body snatching from my experiences in mental health and life. Many thanks once again Margie.

[Cassie]

This one cuts deep, its so sad

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Glad the feeling came through as I am off for my thrice weekly gym session! Nice to see you Cassie need to catch up and visit your pages soon as I took a long break. Many thanks for reviewing.

[Coyote Poetry]

I got old now. Older I get. Less I seek death.
"And now in my torpor
my moribund corpse
simply awaits
a time to die."
The above lines. Deadly place to know. We need some reasons to stay positive. Hello John and thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hello to you too Coyote John. I like that maxim; The Older I get the Less I Seek Death! Many thanks.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome John.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it really hurts when we just have no idea how to rise from the ashes...when we feel age creep upon us and we don't have the strength to rebound from life's darts like we used to.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed so; thank you Jacob

[Sami Khalil]

John! It will be ok at the end as long as you don't lose some aspect of hope or that fighting spirit we all have. We all go through life's ups and down so rest assured you are one of us. This is so powerful with powerful words. I know you had that good, noble goals. Once we work on ourselves, change our habits, find some purpose, we will inspire others.
I love what The great Rumi said:
"I was once clever and wanted to change the world. Now, I'm wise wanting to change myself."
Keep writing and sharing. A powerful Avenue to heal and share.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Sami you are a great and kind person. Fortunately although there are small truths in much of my poetry and larger truths in others I never truly surrender to defeat nor age nor failure. I gather my poetry much like the Beachcomber I wrote about recently. Many, many thank yous.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! I love that. You are welcome sir.