What Purpose Do I Serve?

A question many ask.

I was a son once,

but my parents

are long dead,

departed long since,

and only

memories and faded

photographs remain.

 

I was a father,

to three children

who needed

to be nurtured,

and protected and guided

but who have now flown

to warmer climes.

 

I was a friend

but life and responsibility

stretched the climbing ropes

that held us safe

until they snapped

and I plunged into

the ravine of normality.

 

I was a career colleague

with ambition and drive

who believed

the world could be changed

for the better

if honesty prevailed.

I was wrong

and died in the fallout

of a non disclosure agreement.

 

I was a writer

who dreamt

of fame and fortune

and adulation.

But whose quill

was blunted

by dyslexic ignorance.

 

I was a dreamer,

and a romantic once,

someone who saw the stars

and celebrated the sun

and nature's joys,

and fortunately

for me,

even as I slip

away and shed

my many skins,

I am still

all that!

 

30/05/19

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Cherrie]

Every thing we do as a human can seem hard. Each phase is always a first. First time in school, first love, first job...even being old is a first for us.
We spend a lifetime assimilating titles that we were. A one person band that plays many of the instruments all at once, others for just a moment in time. But the essence I am remains even after that last note is played.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed so Cherrie. Many thanks!

[Eilis]

I like that the heart of dreamer and romantic of the last stanza has remained untainted by the transformative (sometimes painful) experiences of living. That's a lovely, hopeful message, John.

I think it is easy to become cynical when faced with obstacles and experiences that do not live up to the expected outcome, but maintaining the core of who we are can be a defense against that.

I very much enjoyed the journey and the sentiment of this poem. Something most all of us can see ourselves in.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah that is me Eilis as a hopeless romantic who always sees something good. But I prefer it that way. Again I have to thank you for taking time and looking at my writing ion such a well considered and meaningful way.

[Kent Rawski]

To feel of no use to feel of no importance is a dastardly thing as.we get older we want to see to feel that we mattered like that Humphrey Bogart classic Casablanca moment it seems the world doesn't care and so many things are changed or gone life goes on and as we age it seems everything goes against us even our own bodies of all things but our spirit remains until God calls for it wise song time in a b ottle

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I sort of agree Kent. I think it is the changing of 'skins' that is the marker of transition as we progress from being a lover, spouse, parent to young children, employee etc. Many thanks for dropping in.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

I think we evolve based on our surroundings and the people in our lives
we are who we need to be in the moment
and in the end we will be remembered for all of those hats we wore and roles we played

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah I think it is perhaps the opposite for some. When we leave a job, for example, the organisation and it's people may miss us fleetingly but they simply fill the gap and move on. Many thanks Edie.

[andrew mitchell]

Through time we become many in the changes but the core of our being is the same. A honest heartfelt write John. As always so well written.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Andrew, I agree we have that core which is the inner us. Not seen much from you in the past week?

[andrew mitchell]

Just been too busy of late my friend!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No problems. So long as all is ok.

[kentuck14]

John,
I have always appreciated your honesty which shows up splendidly in your poems. Yes . . . what we have been is still what we are, for we are the some total of our experiences, learning and beliefs. Even our relationships have shaped us . . . much like a sculptor works with the hammer and chisel. Our dreams and desires have shaped us, molding and working the earthly clay that we are. Indeed time and circumstance play a part in who we are . . . but if we are steadfast, only to a point.

What purpose do I serve? To live out my life as honorably as my Maker would want me to be. I admit that in my frail humanity I have not always been successful. But I still strive for the prize.
Tom

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed so Tom but sometimes there is a price to pay and so far as my work is concerned I have twice paid in blood and gagging clauses!

[kentuck14]

Without a doubt what you say is true. Man toils with the sweat of his brow . . . no matter what he does in this world. And often that toil goes unrewarded. Disappointment is not the cream, but the scum that often rises to the top of life. I too have suffered in my life's work because of people who did not think as I do . . . nor cared enough to understand what I think or believe. When I wanted their best, I was betrayed. There is great pain in rejection . . . but then, I being imperfect, live in an imperfect world. As always, I wish you the best.
Tom

[Chris Shaw]

I ask myself the same question. I think we all do as we get older. Circumstances change, but do we change as people? What I do know is that it is important to keep our own identity. This appears to be an honest look at yourself, from outside inwards. Not many people would be able to do that.

Chris

[alanwgraham]

This is brimming with great observation John, about what it means to get older. We reflect back and puzzle on how all has changed. In one way it all seems so long ago and we hunger for the innocence and hopes we once had. On the other hand there is a lot to embrace in a later stage of life - if we are lucky .
All the best!
Alan

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Exactly that Alan. We see life accelerate as we age and our responsibilities deminish. we lose part of our identity although those were like the skins of snakes in reality and were bound to be shed. And thankfully life is left with colour and challenge and conflict! Many thanks.