My Novel Life

Where we are today is full of memories often long forgotten.

My Novel Life

Swans in dog collars,

feathers turned black

from the oil spills

of too many sins,

herded me into my youth;

they had me making incense infused incantations.

But the sewer rats of Glasgow,

with their blades and skinhead cuts,

dancing to A Clockwork Orange

and slashing the faces of the Celtic faithful,

made me abandon belief.

I saw the insincerity of worship too.

So many who were Christian

but only on Sunday,

hollow souls of wax.

I learned disappointment, resentment and anger.

And that anger has stayed,

haunted my anxiety,

left me weak, as the blood of trust

and childhood, fairytale hope,

seeped from my veins.

Nineteen-eighty-four came and went

and I was never a Swallow or an Amazon.

More Crusoe, abandoned on an island

bereft of reason,

starved of meaning and searching for

any passing ship that would take me home,

away from the damned flies.

Those damned flies!

The unrest, the social collapse

of civilisation.

And so I yearned for Simon's serene open space

full of aromatic bushes and flowers,

until he died, a beast.

I longed to end Piggy's pain,

and I fell with him to the sand

where a long sleep awaited.

When I awoke on the gurney

the world was empty,

apart from the blind

and of course John Wyndham's

killer plants.

I tried so hard to climb the Matterhorn

to rise above the clouds

but the dark deceit of Maclean's  Ice Station

froze my heart.

Until I washed up on Chesil Beach

thinking love and romance were real.

But McEwan wouldn't let me believe

as he wrung out the dirty laundry.

So decades of sinking and sinking again,

and trying to squeeze the sponge dry

of transgressions have left their mark,

and now I still live in the shadow of the crow,

and Black Dogs make me fearful.

 

14/07/17

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

What a literary journey- a coming of age chronicled in your epic "Novel Life" John! Killer imagery- "sewer rats of Glasgow, with their blades and skinhead cuts, dancing to A Clockwork Orange"...Harry Chapin did it for music. You did it for books...Bravo!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so very much Annette.

[Lorry]

Well, hail hail my friend. (If you know what I mean) :)
This is brilliant. Lots have tried to describe west of Scotland sectarianism to the world, yet I havent read any say it so well. Try explaining to America, Canada etc our religions are played out on football pitches and our hatred on the terraces, and you wonder quite why we have such a good repution with the world.
Thankfully, my parents just shrugged and let me make up my own mind. When religion can be this crazy, its easy to understand why I opted out.
Superb.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Aye Lorry indeed they were here! Religion, especially Catholicism has much to answer for. I too voted with my feet. Many thanks.

[alanwgraham]

We are the sum of what we have read - a bit of truth there and its always interesting to look at someone's bookcase. You've made a good and very witty job of mashing all these novel references together. Finding out what makes us tick is a trickier job and I can't even manage myself.
A good and original effort,
Regards,
Alan

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah Thanks Alan. All of these novels played a part in my thinking and psyche.

[Leslie Philibert]

This a cascade of literary references, finely spun, full of surprises and excellent imagery ; I really like this,
so to paraphrase..reader..read it !

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so very much Leslie. Tis a true tale; more or less!

[APOORVA]

amazing writing...such beautiful piece

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so very much Apoorva.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you bring back so many fearful memories...the demise of what we were...
A Clockwork Orange...saw that when it came out and said, God if the world ever gets like this we are in trouble....well, i hear the fat lady singing.
singing in the rain...just singing in the rain.

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you for being in touch with this one Jacob.

[wordman]

some deep thoughts here john,i enjoyed the journey through your mind

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Ron.

[emmajoy]

This truly is a fine, fine meld of your words and books that mark a great literary decade or two from the past past. I don't know if this a unique concept but it's high quality writing, John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much for your kind review Emma.

[Coyote Poetry]

I did like this poem.
"and now I still live in the shadow of the crow,
and Black Dogs make me fearful."
You led the reader on a epic journey with a logical ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry my friend.
Coyote

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome John.

[Tony Jordan]

Each gem in this exquisite piece throws up so many memories of my own life-hood. You penned a generation, timelessly here John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Tony. This is close to my bones. I have rewritten it a little since you read it and I feel I want to keep adding to it!

[Tony Jordan]

I honestly was going to include a 'congrats' in the review for being able to keep it so concise. I know such a work would have run away on me.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Failed again, doh!