Broken Sculpture

How women try shape you.

Broken Sculpture

Galvanised steel

was my metal.

My crystallised skin

a spangle,

until you came

and broke me up

for the scrap value.

The sum of all

my takings thus far,

now a tidy profit

in your pockets,

as you walked out

leaving me incomplete.

Then she came

with a bluer flame

to her torch,

and welded me

together again,

piece by piece.

Only to change her mind

as she hated the joins

she had made.

Not sculpted enough

for her artistic tastes.

 

18/06/15

Author's Note

Reviews

[AaronFreitas]

Nice write with powerful lines. I love the detail of being broken apart... great creativity! Nice work I enjoyed it very much :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Aaron

[fattycbreezy52]

This is a sad writeup.Deconstruction and then reconstruction.But what sort of reconstruction!
That is why they always say that some humans are used as dolls and the joints there do not have any artistic taste.I think in this case,the girl has not yet forgotten to leave aside her dolls and accept that human attributes are more real than artificial

[John Alexander McFadyen]

That is an interesting perspective FCB upon which I will ponder. Many thank yous!

[Roxie M]

Heartbreaking...a man's poem with its metaphor. It is nicely tidied in the joining of what could have been two poems. Thoughtful, this is one to read again and ponder.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

My profound thanks Rosie.

[ANTO]

Love your current metaphorical period John. This has so much in it. I liked the use of spangle - it has childhood connotations for me (and probably you and more here too) as a fav sweet but to see it employed here I had to look it up and its a belter. I wont forget that now.
To be wanted then not wanted for the same attributes because they dont match new expectations is fine with objects but it makes people into throwaway goods. Not nice.
Great write here my friend.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Actually I had forgotten Spangles lol! Many thanks my Celtic warrior!

[andrew mitchell]

Nice Metaphor John. Thank goodness for recycling to save you however refunds are only 10 cents! Jokes aside A power write that asks the question Is it because girls played with dolls that could never answer back that has lead to this shaping and moulding of men when they become women for some! lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Love your psychological theory on this one Andrew! Many thanks.

[Jamestown]

Fantastic write!
Really enjoyed the metaphor use and solid message,
I can relate to the broken and reconstruction you speak
of, I thought the expression through choice wording made
the imagery very clear, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thank yous JT

[sereenaoutloud]

love is about accepting the person for who they are faults and all!
Our little imperfection are what make us unique!!
I love the metaphor for this It captures it perfectly!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Sereena

[Willard Wells]

A chance at renewed life only to be rejected again. Beautiful write John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Willard.

[wordman]

a good write john,i guess rejection is a great part of life

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you WM. If one can grow from it, it certainly can be.