Songs of Dusk

A beautiful summer evening!

Songs of Dusk

I recall the radiance of your smile

carried on summer breezes

such as these.

I sit as evening snuggles up,

gently nudging day into night,

my conservatory door wide

to capture the passing, cooling

but erratic wafts, scented in lavender,

rosemary and clematis.

There is a peace, a silence

gentle as June,

punctuated only by the merriment

of children at play in the park

or the far off traffic.

I don't hear my tumble drier,

I block it out in my trance and listen

only the muted twilight songs of the blackbird,

thrush, sparrow, linnet, finches and tits

as they sweetly serenade

the cooling of day.

 

17/06/15

Author's Note

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Another superbly astounding write. I could vividly sense the fragrances of flowers and plants carried by the summer breezes, the tuneful chirping of different birds in harmonious perfection, and the wild adventures children play at!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Nadia

[R Smith]

yes John! i know that feeling so well especially when those noises disappear and you hear only the beauty of the scenery, great write my friend :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Richard. Glad you enjoy such moments too.

[Kelly Scheppers]

What a beautiful acclamation to a summer evening! ...and the bird songs you downloaded were so engaging to listen to.

Simply gorgeous...I love it!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Kelly. It was a lovely calming evening.

[Richard🖌]

MMmmm!
Dear John, this is such a wondrous, most entreating, and soothing Free Verse you've so generously gifted our senses, and I am truly grateful for the moment's visage and atmospheric beauty created by and shared with you here upon your page, My Finely-Gifted Friend.
On the more techy side:
Consider
"to capture the passing 'coolness' (too many "-ings in a row for smooth poetical voice)
'by' erratic wafts," ("but" seems not to best befit this line)
In this line, omit one redundant "the" word and make it: "the cooling of day."
Hope these little hints help some.
I admire how you've so completely and easily divided the glory of Nature from the material world in your "tumble drier" line, and the bird pictures perfectly set the timbre of your words and ambience in your verse.

A bushel basketful of thanks, John, for sharing another splendid composition from your enchanting ink! ⁓ Richard

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You are generous in your praise and helpfulness Richard. I am grateful for reviews that are so considered and helpful and I will look at your suggestions. Many thanks.

[Richard🖌]

Ah, I see now, John, it is the lack of punctuation on the first line that threw me:
"to capture the passing, cooling,
but erratic wafts,"
The last line still needs to lose one of the "the" words.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Richard. I have gone with that.

[Richard🖌]

My joy, John … I am so glad it helped. RJ

[Willard Wells]

You capture and present a beautiful view of your evening relaxing and listening. With you words I felt I was sitting with you enjoying the sounds, smells and vision of the coming night. Thanks for a beautiful work. I liked the birds in the background.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Glad you enjoyed it Willard. Many thanks.

[ANTO]

You describe a wonderful scene here my friend. Heck i can even incorporate the dryer into it as a deep bass background. I want my own conservatory now...
Well penned John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Anto. I wrote this yesterday evening whilst it was happening so the drier had my gym gear in it lol!

[ANTO]

I think I read somewhere that washing machines and driers (maybe not so much driers lol) help kids to sleep. Park the pram a safe distance from it and the child gets engrossed in the tumbling colours. lol - Yes thats what happened to me lol.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

And just look at the result. I suspect your mother put you in it lol!

[ANTO]

Squeaky clean ? lol

[andrew mitchell]

A tranquil relaxing write to take your thoughts away with the breeze. Peace and tranquillity with sounds of life to keep you in touch with today!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed Andrew; many thanks.

[~]

Ahhh.. the serene embrace of a song, the whisper of the breeze.. the imagery is darling..
it made me smile! :D

[John Alexander McFadyen]

So nice to think what I am experiencing right now and have shared in verse can bring joy to others. Thank you MS!

[~]

just a side note.. we have some night birds on our backyard, that tweet nonstop- do you want them? i am getting tired of listening lol :D

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Pigeons do likewise in the mornings but fortunately I have no night birds only bats (which I love). Em try a shotgun?

[~]

lol, my students told me they would come and get rid of them for me with shot guns lol :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your description got me there...I could see, feel, touch, everything you describe

what a peaceful mood emanates...

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed Jacob. I am glad you could feel it too. Despite life sometimes little joys have to be appreciated. Many thanks.