Crucified

Crucified.

You stumble beneath the weight

of the oaken cross

that you yourself fashioned

from your dense forest of fear.

And she who is not free from fear

is not complete in love.

You captured my soul with sweet sermons;

me your chosen disciple,

plucked to serve the dignity

of the hope you offered.

But it is I who ended

nailed through my heart

to those thick wooden planks,

bleeding drop by bloody drop

upon the grey barren earth

of all the promises you made,

of the salvation you foretold,

but that you failed

to honour.

 

27/12/13

Author's Note

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Good job of drawing a parallel between the crucifixion of Christ, with the way some love situations can feel like such. I love it when a metaphor is used consistently thru-out a message the way you've done here. I'm totally feeling the way it can feel at times, in torturous relationships (be it lovers or family or friends).

[NeiL ArandA]

This is beautiful and inspirational

[Rachelle]

From love to friendship to politics to media. How many of us have been victims of deception? It is all a matter of marketing....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Slightly more subtle. A damaged person perhaps. Many thanks SB

[David Scott]

I think some fundamentalist might view this as sacrilege.
However, I think we most allow for sacred analogies to be used in our tormenting affairs of the heart.
I think your poem shows well the controversy between good and evil. It is not the intention but the product that defines good and evil. I believe all intention is felt to be for some good, but e cause and the effect together show the nature of all matters.

Worth thinking about.

[Coyote Poetry]

"And she who is not free from fear
is not complete in love."
The poem is amazing. The description allowed the reader to feel and understand the poem. I like how you led me to the strong ending. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Coyote I am glad you enjoyed it and am humbled.

[Ahena MK]

Outstanding Poem ... no words all i can say is that its really amazing and was a delicious reading

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many Thanks Ahena

[Frieda P]

I literally felt I was nailed to the cross with this one John, you've touched a nerve, as always. Outstanding.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Frieda. Good to see you on the page!

[Frieda P]

Good to read you again, you troublemaker. Have a grand New Year John!

[Leslie Philibert]

You have packed out here a very evocative imagery of suffering, this is impressive.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Leslie and happy holidays!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

The subdued feeling of waiting to be picked is ample here, almost like one never really is out of competition, whether it be for material gain or emotional fulfilment well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Thomas