Forsaken

Forsaken

Your breath crystallises in the frosted air

as you trample the bones of my desires that once were raw.

And I am helpless, stabbed to the Earth

as a dead moth mounted and pinned.

I see the yellow of your once pure white teeth

cackle at me as I lay in the paralysis of my hopeless fear.

You who elevated me to the Gods now casts me to burn in hell.

Such power is what I gave to you when I laid bare my soul

and offered you my naked honest flesh.

But you are a carnivore, a slayer of love.

It matters not to you romance,

dedication,

truth.

Power is your drug,

revenge the platform of your insane inadequacy.

You are a collector of death,

curator of the museum of broken hearts;

and now I am fallen,

another corpse for you to claim.

 

16/11/13

Author's Note

Reviews

[Quill~]

You have been bewitched John!... Damn her! lol
"But you are a carnivore, a slayer of love.

It matters not to you romance,

dedication,

truth.

Power is your drug,".

Venomous and pure evil, well written!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Quill

[Quill~]

~~~~~~~~~~~~*.*~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Tom]

A spell is cast through the ruse of love and the intended victim is well and truly snared, used and manipulated until there is nothing left to give, before being cast aside like floating, flotsam on the currents of a vast endless ocean!

An emotive, metaphoric description of a Dastardly Diva !

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed Tom, indeed. Many thanks.

[R. L. Hill]

Poison is a great word for this poem. I've been injected. I've died. And I've become a part of the collection.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Death is a state of mind. Survival is a state of being.

[R. L. Hill]

Yes! Exactly

[KAOlmsted]

Dames. What are you gonna do...

P.S. Dream Theater is one of my all-time-favorite, stranded-on-a-desert-island, can't-live-without bands. I knew we were soul mates ;-)

Hope you're doing well, John...been a while since we've chatted. xoxo

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Kimmer, thank you. A historic write as I have many stories to draw from. It has been a while. I took a break from the Cafe and have not been back in the swing as much as I was before. Trying to get balance and my workdays are long and the weekends so short. Hope you are good?

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure, John. Glad to hear you're doing well. Doing great here, too. xoxo

[Leslie Philibert]

A powerful write full of venom...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Leslie. Was a little thrown by the venom comment but on reflection you may be right.

[Lyn Anderson]

Beautiful poem. I only have one tiny comment. Please don't take offense as I would love to hear such simple advice as this - consider taking out the exclamation - hell is a powerful enough word on its own. And if you do not, I cry your pardon sir, as after all it is the writer's license to do as he wishes.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I agree that a poem is for the writer to craft, however I take your point and think you are right on this occasion.

[Lyn Anderson]

Please feel free to critique me. As you so aptly stated, this is how we grow.

[Frieda P]

You drained your soul only to be banished from her world, hope this isn't happening again my friend and it's only your muse rebelling, you left blood splatters on your page...cuts deep as a sword.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Historical feelings my Lady I am pleased to say. Hard to gain a foothold after this sort of rout but now on solid ground. Thanks Frieda.

[Lydia Shutter]

OH MY!!! "Your breath crystallises in the frosted air as you trample the bones of my desires that once were raw. " What an horrific image this creates for me, John! Evil personified...and even worse since the one who is now revealed to be an evil one was once the object of your desire. When emotions are shared without reserve, we are vulnerable. When the one who is now privvy to all uses the information against us, well, that is downright cruel! Wicked and viscious...nearly depraved behavior! Powerful poetry, my friend. Well writen raw emotions splattered on the page. Lydi**

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Lydi. Taken from old emotions but real ones.