Desolate

Image: proprofs.com

Desolate

I slip in silence

beneath this wave of sadness

to asphyxiate at your leisure.

The pain you chose to inflict

upon my soul

holds me down at your pleasure.

I came to you to offer grace,

to hold you close,

to make you safe.

To raise your subdued spirit

to the sun.

Yet here I am

a broken soul

an empty and hungry waif

starved of all hope.

 

06/08/13

Author's Note

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

Ouch. Simple, but it works. In an instant our hopes are dashed ... smashed upon the rocks of life - left to dry up and blow away ...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yes too true! Many thanks KLG

[TL Boehm]

an empty and hungry waif - that last line rips at my heart

[Leslie Philibert]

a poem with a strong last image...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Leslie

[ms. barrie]

This is just too incredible for words, John, nothing short of being being amazing! Damn,
This poem, tore right into my heart, for I can really relate to this, keep penning on! :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Barrie. My ink leaks from open wounds.

[ms. barrie]

So does mine, except the ink has dried up in my pen, more like head?
You're very welcome, John, was a pleasure to read :)

[SteveB]

Very well done. The balance of what was offered and what was taken works very well here. I love the alliteration at the end of the offering. It does a great job of setting up the hard short punches of the lines that follow.
I am glad I received a read request for this from Gabriel. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Steve. Gabriel and are are like brothers.

[G.A. Collins]

Again, a splendid assortment of emotions and experiences, matched with an equally beautiful choice of words and metaphorical imagery. Your content is so moving, and it truly reaches out beyond words and touches the heart. You have become an inspiration of mine, John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wow! GA that is a lovely thing to say. I only hope I may live up to such praise!

[Mark]

I think its best not to become too much in love. I don't know how else to deal. There are many women and if one doesn't work I will move on to the next.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Well I guess that is where we differ brother. I need an anchor.

[Mark]

but the chain keeps yanking you around bro! LOL I hear you though.

[Ayvid N]

John...sometimes the most perfect love offered is not enough...
We want to offer grace, redemption, but the other side is not ready enough to appreciate and value it.

The following lines are so touching and tell such a story of a crushing heartbreak>>..

"Yet here I am
a broken soul
an empty and hungry waif
starved of all hope" - pitiful is the lone spirit when abandoned in love....

*Couldn't help reading your exchange with Frieda and I wanted to share my feeling on this my friend......John...women set a great store by and are mostly always in awe (even if not 'in love') of the man who they have had kids with...They just can't help it, sometime they don't have the courage to leave, to start anew with another. I have been through this and that's why I thought to mention it here.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Divya you are so very kind.

[Ayvid N]

Take care.

[Cassie]

This is really sad and quite emotional. Enjoyed reading

[John Alexander McFadyen]

It feels sad Cassie, thank you!

[Archangel Gabriel]

A sadness we share John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Gab