I Met You Once

I met you once

Though I’m sure you don’t remember

It was late last year in mid to late December

There was snow on the ground

And stars in the sky

You said your greatest accomplishment

Was you being alive

I met you once

Though I’m sure you cannot tell

You said your mind was nothing but a vacant violent hell

Your smile was bright

But your eyes were dim

You said you couldn’t be with me

Cause your heart is full of sin

I met you once

and I saw you as you are

your mind is a galaxy with your heart stuck on mars

I never feel so hard for a vision like that day

I never wanted to leave

But you never wanted to stay

 

Reviews

[C Peril]

I really love the wide array of literary devices you deploy here, from alliteration to the sharp contrast between certain lines, see:

'Your smile was bright
But your eyes were dim'

I absolutely adored this:

'I met you once
and I saw you as you are'

It works on so many levels; it's like that stranger is looking past the imperfections which clouds the others perception of themselves.

Absolutely terrific job!

[lua]

this is put into words the nights when two strangers meet and get to know each other inside-out, true to themselves for a single night before departing back into life and never seeing each other again, a relatable scene