The Bond Is Too Dear

Bond between me and my cousin..Instant writing in a bus ;)

The bond we share is too dear
Spending time together is no fear
Lots of talks, lots of movies
Shes a gossip girl ..I am just a rookie
Sleepover with her is so much fun
We cant stop talking cause we are too young
The thing we have noticed the most
when we meet something strange do happen at any cost
Either its falling from a scooter or her fear of dogs is way too cuter
Everything that happen is so rare
We are so clumsy, We don't care
Sometimes its so funny to remember all that
She is a cousin we should have a good laugh
The bond we share is too dear
Spending time together is no fear !

Reviews

[Joseph Tafoya]

i love it and i do not know i am sure it is from your perspective right?but there is some things i see that needs fixing but all in all it a great piece of work you got here and i enjoy your talent maybe you can teach me a few things haha but really i enjoy your work keep it up.

[Parul Sharma]

Yes exactly ..my perspective...I am new here and started writing just now ..well thank you so much :) Glad you liked it haha you r talented as well

[Joseph Tafoya]

Haha no problem I like helping out new and old writers on here I also new here my self and haven't put nothing up latley but you did a pretty good job keep it up and thx

[Parul Sharma]

haha thank you :)

[Sari Segale]

bonding,sharing,being young,lovely poem.

[Parul Sharma]

Thats what it says.Thank ypu :)

[The Hampstead Poet]

I liked the rhythm of the piece, it was an interesting read. I especially liked the repeated line "the bond is too dear". Keep writing!

[Parul Sharma]

Thank you so very much :) I will

[Coyote Poetry]

Good to be young and have a close friend.
"The bond we share is too dear
Spending time together is no fear !"
The above lines are true. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Parul Sharma]

Indeed..thank ypu so much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[....................]

This is a relatable piece for anyone who has cousins or friends they spend quality time with. I agree with Pandora, though, that it is worth editing.

[Parul Sharma]

yes..I need to learn many things..Well Thanks for the review :)

[Gee]

Enjoyed the content,a bit forced at times to achieve the rhyme,flow was a bit off.

[Parul Sharma]

Thanks for the review.. :) I'll take care next time.

[Emily]

Great wording!
Well done!
Keep on writing!!

[Parul Sharma]

Thank you so much :) Yes I will..

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

Makes me think back with nostalgia at the fun times I had growing up with my cousins....thank you for sharing this poetry!

[Parul Sharma]

Thanks alot ..I am glad you enjoyed my poetry :) Memories helped me a lot :)

[PANDORA]

Ok. I am going to do a real critique here. Bear in mind these are just suggestions.

The bond we share is too dear--maybe--The bond we share is so dear

Spending time together is no fear --maybe--Spending time together a complete lack of fear

Shes a gossip girl .--put in the comma--She's

Sleepover---maybe---sleepovers

We cant stop talking cause we are too young--maybe--We can't stop talking cause we're so young

when we meet something strange do happen at any cost--maybe--when we meet something strange happens--leave out, "at any cost."

Either its falling from a scooter or her fear of dogs is way too cuter--maybe--Whether it's falling from a scooter but her fear of dogs is much cuter

Everything that happen is so rare--add an S to happen-Everything that happens is so rare

The bond we share is too dear
Spending time together is no fear !---Again,

"The bond we share is so dear"
Spending time together a complete lack of fear"

I really hope this helps. I do not do a full critique very often but I really like the spirit of this or I would have just left a generic comment.

[Parul Sharma]

Well thank you so much for this review as i wanted it because i started writing...You arr right this side is more amazing than what i wrote but i just wrote it in a bus ..But reaaly i appreciate this that u took ur time out to do a full critque review..This helped me alot ..Can I edit it?

[PANDORA]

Absolutely. I am so glad I could help. :-)

[Sultrysoul]

It's a very endearing poem very nice

[Parul Sharma]

Thank you so much ...Glad you liked it :)

[Sultrysoul]

You are very welcome