The Lonesome Soul

This poem is partially inspired by the Bengali myth "Nisi Daka" (The Call of the Night)

 

She woke up in the middle of the night

Someone out there called her name

The familiar voice seemed to invite

She was not sure from where it came.

 

She felt something took over her mind

In the stormy night she went walking alone

Followed the voice never looked behind

And finally reached an old tombstone.

 

Like a lightning bolt she then realized

It’s the boy who said “you are my breath”

When she left him with all her lies

He could not breathe which caused his death.

 

And then she saw her brand new room

Her afterlife it will capture

An empty grave beside his tomb

Freshly dug waiting for her.

 

With a gentle push she fell in her grave

She could hear his voice before the end

It reached her ear like a distant wave

“I am so lonely, I need an old friend.”

Reviews

[C. Harter Amos]

Well written with a nice original touch to it. I agree with Caffeine: the ending is not only excellent, but is well presented as well.

[Adela Muresan]

An sinister and sad poem.

The imagery could not match the your feelings in a better way.

Her hearing the boy say those words to her is like the attack of her own conscience in a very cruel way.

A.M.

[!!..Love..!!]

This is again a great piece of writing and I strongly oppose Caffeine.
I actually found the last ending portion very powerful, in fact most powerful in the entire poem.
Nice!

-Catherine

[Last Lying Look]

Wow. I like this. It's kind of a sad story. Beautiful.

[Imperfection]

This is a wonderful piece.
The ending was not only excellent but also well presented.

Good one.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

"With a gentle push she fell in her grave
She could hear his voice before the end
It reached her ear like a distant wave
"I am so lonely, I need an old friend."

First of all, I got to agree..This is one of the best ending I have read from past few days...I mean the entire piece of writing is brilliant but for me these ending lines stand out! Simply awesome :)

The starting reminded me of that song "Nobody's home" and the end reminds me of one of my own poem "Your visit to my place"

But you know, still I found it very unique and extremely powerful. Great piece of writing :)