1 year later

On a cloudy tired August afternoon we went for a walk behind his place. 

Down a strange willowy green meadow. 

On a cement pathway. 

Down the river, past the town.

In a hidden place. 

I began to chase a butterfly. 

And that's when he put the first knife into my back. 

That is when he said he did something bad. 

He confessed he cheated on me the night before. 

I remember my heart not feeling anything at first, but gradually ripping apart. 

I remember seeing a plane fly overhead and desperately wishing I could jump right on and fly away. 

I remember being so envious of  the birds. 

They could just...fly away. Whenever they pleased. 

The world stopped. 

I wanted to hit him. I wanted to punch him. 
I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. 

We just kept walking. 

And then I remember thinking: How will I be in a year? 
Still in agony? 

Well...here I am. 
And so much has changed. 

I am now a woman who refuses to be treated like dirt. 
Like a doormat. 

Being cheated on was the worst pain I have ever known. 
Worse than any injection of a needle. 
Worse than any surgery. 
Worse than any scrape or bruise. 


Through my pain; I grew in the winter. 

I am a woman of renewed kindness. 
A woman who grew in her faith. 
Who has a light, happy and grateful heart. 

A heart of steal on the outside; but on the inside...

A heart with mercy and compassion. 

Empathy and love. 

I am a warrior. 
A goddess. 

I am a woman who knows who she loves. 

And who I love is
God above. 

And God straightens my crown when I am weak. 
My heartbreak and betrayal lead to something else. 

A new church. 
New friends. 
Even a new love. 

And the love story that bloomed from the nightmare is a story I adore. 

The road maybe lonesome at times. 

But at least I know my worth is not being tarnished. 

Author's Note