October

It's 1 am.

I shouldn't be up.

But I am.

Why?

Because it's October.

And my ghost of lovers past is talking to me.

Reminding me.

Heckling me.

And now congratulating me.

It was last October.

I sent someone one last letter.

And in my letter were words of harshness

Of hurt.

Lyrics from Blame.

You go sleep with the fishes...there's no room for you here.

There's no room for you here.

Wrap your teeth around the pavement

Because your body's a message

Send my regards to hell

 

But in the end was forgiveness.

An open heart

Arms wide open.

A second chance.

In my eyes

Broken  people

Are the people who are in need the most.

Of compassion.

Empathy.

Kindness.

Friendship.

But I never heard from him again.

And it stung.

I crumbled.

Got back up.

And more times than I've wanted to, I've composed a new letter in my head.

A letter of "I was thinking about you, and I'm sorry."

But why should I say I'm sorry?

I did nothing wrong at all.

I punish myself with these thoughts.

And I praise myself for not writing again.

For being stronger.

A stranger.

A ghost girl

Left to haunt his thoughts.

I leave him to fade.

To die.

But it is one year later.

And I simply cannot forget.

A blessing and a curse.

I was given a colossal heart.

And I wonder

How his present days start.

Reviews

[KCthelastboyscout]

A unique writing style to describe guilt and forgiveness. This was a wonderful experience to read.These words will stay with me awhile

[writ rajat]

very nice................................................................

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This presents such a caring but needy face the guilt and sadness at losing someone still haunts. Some people are super sensitive and people leave their mark. Well expressed in this open 'letter'.