Inside a foodies mind

Who ate my f*****g waffles. I was so excited about my waffles.

Life is over.

They eat all my f*****g food.

I'm going to waste away and die.

I don't get to enjoy anything anymore.

I should legit start hiding my food.

YES.

Ugh.

I hate breakfast.

Unless I have good food.

Time to go shopping!

Wow. Look at her hair!

She looks like a sheep.

Omg...it's MALIFICANT!

One of her butt cheeks could fit two of my entire legs in it!

Dayum.

I bet her husband likes that.

...Lol

I should really stop looking at that butt.

People must think I'm a pervert.

I genuinely hope no one saw me looking.

WHO IS THAT.

I don't know who that is..

Oh god.

They're looking at me like they know me.

How does everyone know me?!

WHYYYY.

I don't wanna be social.

Don't talk to me.

I'm shopping for food.

Don't talk to me.

Don't LOOK at me.

Just walk by really casually.

Pretend you're not here.

If I could bathe in nutella I WOULD.

But would that infect me down there?

Whoever thought of putting chocolate on their body during sex is a genius.

Crap.

She saw me.

Time to put your acting face on!

Seriously though who is that?

I don't speak English.

Wait...No.

OMG IT'S A DOG!

OMG

Dog!

Dog!

CUTE DOG!

I must go pet that dog.

..Or not...

Uuugghhh.

What's the point of buying food if everyone but me is going to eat it?

I'm ticked off.

I need to move out.

My brother is a w***e.

He prances around with his stupid little girl friend and he doesn't even have a job.

While here I am...working my butt off...cleaning everything...the f*****g shower...the bathroom..take out the garbage.

And what does he do?

EAT ALL MY FOOD THAT I PAID FOR!

Seriously though..

I should go buy a dog..

and when I move out...I am going to be happiest about all my food that I WILL GET TO EAT.

But wait..

If I have a dog....what if it gets into my food too?

Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

Seriously though...

Sounds like a day without my Adderall. I loved this because you focused on the most important thing - FOOD!

This is a charming piece of pie.

[Kathryn Smith]

haha Thank you Carol! :D You're making me want some pie now. LOL