Crowded Places

My stomach churned.

I sat in noodles in company and ate what I had been craving.

Around me, high school girls were chatting away about the latest gossip.

Their eyes flicking in my direction.

And me? I was sitting alone, working away on a philosophy paper.

Full of nerves, and self consciousness. 

A very uneasy feeling.

An hour later in the library I felt sick to my stomach and exhausted.

What is wrong with me?

I've noticed this trait a lot about me lately.

Being alone in places gives me anxiety.

It's very strange.

Is it social anxiety?

Is it my introvertedness?

Low self esteem?

Insecurities?

With the high schoolers around I could feel their eyes judging me.

And I felt like the dork again.

It's sad how I automatically become the worst critic of myself whenever seeing anyone take a glance in my direction.

Where did this all stem from?

Bullies?

Remarks?

Too many tears growing up?

I have yet to find out.

Or perhaps all it was..

Was knowing just how petty some high schoolers can be.

Reviews

[Chris]

Isn't it strange how we have to be "taught" how to feel ashamed - and it is just as often peers that do the "teaching".