Tests

Dear Jack,

I decided to help teach religious ed last fall because they were desperate for help.

I thought it would be a good learning experience as a new teacher.

I thought this would be exactly like what I went through as a child.

Pure learning - not too much pressure. Fun. Light. Godly.

But after class last night I came back home with my heart torn into three.

Never again do I want to witness this.

Never again will I sign up to be apart of something that does this.

You see, J; each class has to practice their prayers. (Right, that's normal.)

BUT each class has to be tested on their prayers...and they have to pass 8 levels.

Do you remember that little boy I told you about in the Star Wars cap?

Well..last week he was so upset and anxious over these "prayer tests."

He did not pass level 1 last week - so this week he came bounding into the

room with a bright happy smile.

He told me he practiced and that he wanted to retest.

I knew we still had to test a student who was sick last week; so I went to go

find the woman who runs this program to ask if it was okay.

I had to FIGHT for this little boy to be able to test again Jack.

She was very hesitant about it..but thank god she listened to me.

I tested our Star Wars friend and he passed!

You should've seen his face.

At the end of the class - the entire school gathered together for an assembly.

Parents were there, teachers were there, grandma's, grandpas..siblings..you name it.

I felt so proud watching that student who had worked so hard receive his ribbon. He told me

it was his first ever ribbon.

He was on cloud nine. So happy.

But there was something that hit me across the face.

The boy who was sick the week before did not pass level one.

He could do the first prayer - but did not have the second one memorized. 

As I looked at everyone in my class but him standing up proudly, beaming, holding their ribbons, I grew enraged.

This boy doesn't come from the best background - and these days most parents just shove their kids into Religious Ed and don't bother taking them to church.

So of course he isn't going to know his prayers like his peers.

It just was not fair.

I looked at his face as he watched the entire school get their ribbons.

Jack. It was seriously the saddest thing.

I never had to do anything like that growing up.

It's not like this boy didn't know anything  - he tried - he got some of the words down. I could see he remembered.

I feel like I should stand up for him - I feel like I should do something.

But I don't know what to say.

But as I tested him; before the woman came around with her check list I looked into his

eyes..

And this is how it went.

Me: Do you know what?

Student?: What?

Me: I didn't know this prayer when I was in 1st grade either.

Student: Really? How old were you when you could say it?

Me: Guess...

Student: 14!

Me: ...Yes! Maybe even older than that! These are an awful lot of words to remember aren't they?

Student: Yeah...

Me: Everything will be okay - and you tried. That's all that matters. You did a wonderful job.

He smiled at me.

And we walked back into the classroom.

Jack - I hope more than anything he remembers this discussion.

Watching him leave last night - and seeing that defeated look just about killed me.

I want to make a change.

Children need to be children.

I hope you are safe.

I hope you are happy.

I hope you are well.

Love,

Your girl on earth

Kathryn