Numb

Dear Jack,

Hello from the snowy land of hell.

Okay. I'm over exaggerating..

I'm just tired of being locked up inside - I'm tired of  the world being colorless and lifeless.

Black, white, and ugly.

I'm tired of being cold all the time.

In a tiny body being cold makes your entire self ache. 

Its exhausting.

Jack, I know I shouldn't complain. I should be joyful.

But today my dear, I wanted to escape everything for a moment.

Yes. Absolutely everything.

I had to go to the eye doctor to check my eye pressure.

You see - the airbag that damaged my eye 6 years ago gave me induced glaucoma.

Basically the nerve cells in my eye are wasting away to nothing.

I am slowly going blind.

But thankfully eye drops help that.

I hate putting eye drops in my eye..but I try my best..

Today though - my pressure was at 22.

That's high.

It's not good.

I came home and my mother yelled at me.

I yelled back..and my lip began to quiver like a child.

I felt hot tears in my eyes.

There are times when my world seems like it's crumbling down.

I know I shouldn't be so shattered - because it's not like I have cancer...and it's not

like I'm paralyzed...but this is all so scary to me still.

I miss when my eye was normal.

When everything was okay.

My normal right eye taken away from me so quickly.

I hate the yellow numbing drops they put in my eyes..

Sometimes I let the numbing liquid stand for more.

I harden my heart and let my entire being become numb for a few hours.

Everything will be okay.

It has to be.

 

JJ - I also feel like a traitor to you.

I've been talking to a boy from England...

And loving England seems so wrong.  

Like I'm turning my back on Ireland. On you.

But I know that is a silly thought. In fact it's ridiculous!

I'm on a journey...and who knows where it's going to take me.

But rest assured, Ireland will always be home...it's as if it is embedded inside of me.

In my soul.

And forever will it be my love.

I hope you are safe.

I hope you are well.

I love you.

Your girl on earth

Kathryn

Reviews

[B]

I cried reading that
I hope you are not having eye trouble
I hope you feel better ..... if you need anything
i am here

[Lustre]

Oh my gosh... I can't help but pity Kathryn. Such a bright future should be gradually enshrouded of glaucoma. T_T

Also, is this a novel? I haven't read the rest so I am not really sure. Anyway, this is such a remarkable work with a refreshing format that I haven;t seen before. :)

[Kathryn Smith]

Aw thank you!! I'm sure everything with my eye will be okay in the long run if I take good care of it. x This is a series of letters I am writing to a man named Sean Heuston. (He went by Jack or JJ) Feel free to google him. :)

[Lustre]

Oh, I see! I didn't realize that it's you. I'm so sorry. And I hope that you won't lose hope. Please stay strong!